Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Homework heaven or homework hell?

34 replies

Boysandgirlscomeouttoplay · 26/02/2012 19:50

Well for us it's been homework hell this weekend.

Dd1 is in y2 and has an incredible amount of homework - at least 20 mins each day plus reading plus spellings and double homework at weekends.

I'm finding it really hard to motivate her - excuses by the dozen tired hungry need the loo dropped my pencil tired hungry thirsty but mummy I gmhate homework!

Admit/confess to being a shouty mummy at times which just is so self defeating and I recognise not good basis for our relationship. And I know IABU by being shouty :-(

Feel like I'm drowning - need some advice and tactics - help please !!!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 26/02/2012 19:55

That is way way too much homework for a y2 child!
Go in and ask about their homework policy, and about why there is so much.

TBH at infant level they only need to be doing some reading - the rest is really not necessary!

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 26/02/2012 20:10

I feel I have to do a fair bit with the DC at the moment - both school and extra very targeted work for areas they are struggling with.

Sometimes it's fun - DS likes reading his stories to me at bed time. It get him practicing then I read him a story back. DD1 sometimes like to do homework with me if she gets to stop up late ie later than her younger siblings. Sometimes there are games of sites like ICT or bbc that encompass what needs to be practice and they enjoy doing.

Rest of time I do resort to bribery - DS will do 15 minutes phonic work with me for a biscuit ( this was a rare treat) and DD1 it's sometimes a biscuit or sometimes an episode of The Simmsons on TV.

It's not ideal - but I can see the impressive progress they are making in their weak areas.

However a lot of last years school project work for DD1 could have been ignored by us as it took a long time and never seemed to get looked at or teach DD1 much despite our best efforts plus it was stuff she needed our input with so ended up feeling more like work for us. So check the work homework is actually benefiting your DCs.

brightermornings · 26/02/2012 20:11

Someone on here called it homework shouting quite apt I thought Grin

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 26/02/2012 20:12

Also if they are prevaricating - point out once the task is done you can both go and do something more fun and give them an example. Also check they can actually do the work and its not to hard for them.

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 26/02/2012 20:15

When DD1 really got awkward with reading - we stopped doing it with her for a while and found other ways to get her practicing - reading eggs was good for a bit.

Also told the teacher that she hadn't wanted to do it - sometimes they had suggestions on how to make it less a battle - do less in a sitting or they gave different books which she got on better with. Sometimes they had a chat with her and she'd try for a while.

Mumof1plustwins · 26/02/2012 20:16

I know exactly what you mean OP, dd hates homework time, more specifically spellings. Turns into WW3 in our house Sad

She doesn't mind most the homework she's been getting lately and the spellings have been pretty easy but when new tricky ones come along...

Here - I found this for you to scream into...

Grin
theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 26/02/2012 20:19

Sometimes getting DH or grandparents, if and when they are around, to do the supervising and help with the homework means no battles as they'll happily do it with them but not me.

Marshy · 26/02/2012 20:20

Get a tutor - children will do it for someone else!
Seriously though, I sympathise. Sounds like far too much h/w for one so young and a major stressor for you. I do have a maths tutor for my teenagers and although DS always complains on tutor days, he knuckles down to do it and is unfailingly polite when she gets here AND is making good progress. Much harder when mum is trying to get the work to be done
Maybe have a chat with teacher? Are you at an uber-competative school where others are asking for extra?

Hassled · 26/02/2012 20:20

I agree that sounds like an insane amount of homework - is it a private school? And what's the worse that could happen - what would be the reaction if you sent in a note saying "X didn't do her homework tonight because she was tired and I let her play instead"?

Trying to get DD to learn her times tables - it was over 10 years ago and the memory still makes me want to weep (which is what usually happened at the time). She's grown up now and still doesn't know them - but got a B in her GCSE.

Original poster
Boysandgirlscomeouttoplay · 26/02/2012 20:23

Lol thanks mumof1 x

Dd goes to a small independent school and her homework is "restricted" to Maths and English alternatively. She's a bright reader - reading age 9+ - so I've slackened off on this and don't push it but just keep that simmering so to speak. Her spellings don't seem to cause her too much of a problem sO breaking it down it's Maths and comp that she's reluctant to do. Times tables etc too. She's capable but just needs to focus - I know I can't out an old head on young shoulders (which I guess is what I'm trying to do).

Reading this all back I think a chill pill is needed - or a glass of red!

I do think it's too much work for a 7 year old but how can I change that?

OP posts:
SeaweedNK · 26/02/2012 20:25

Agree that this is far too much homework to expect a Y2 child to cope with. My DD is in Y4 and gets 20mins 3x per week and 1x at weekends plus spellings and tables each week.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/02/2012 20:25

I don't want to tell you this but it gets worse

I've got a DD in Yr 5 and she just gets on and does it.
DS is now Yr 7 (secondary) and has always been a little blighter.
Can't find a pencil.Comes in with a pencil with no flipping lead .Or a colouring pencil.
Want a drink/pee

I tell him "read the question and do a rough draft". He can't find paper, he writes it out long hand, rubs out a mistake.
Just score it out, it's a rough draft.No-one sees it but you Confused

He's got a desk.A computer.A box file of cheap A4 paper. Clipboard to lean on. A lined sheet to put under the plain. Propelling pencils-lots- so no sharpening needed. A huge desk calculator.Colour pencils.
A calender. A Year Planner on the wall.
It doesn't motivate him but it makes this easier when we don't have to spend half an hour looking for things that he's usually left at school.

He spent over 5 hours -yes- doing a science homework on cooking baked beans on toast .Sigh.

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 26/02/2012 20:26

Try talking to her teacher maybe they'll considered setting your DD less especially if she is not behind or struggling.

Marshy · 26/02/2012 20:29

Check out with teacher how she is doing and decide how to proceed from there but I would really think about taking your foot off the gas. You will risk switching her off if you make learning a chore at this age. Such a shame for them when so young.

PigeonPair · 26/02/2012 20:30

Urgh - I hear ya! We have the same amount of homework (DS is Year 2, Private School). It is SO hard some days. I get stressed and become shouty, he gets upset etc etc. I have recently managed to "get through to him" that the quicker he does it, the more "Golden Time" he has at the end of the day where he can do what he wants. At one point I used a kitchen timer and set it for an hour - the time between finishing tea and going up for a bath. He then had a visual idea of how long he had left to play etc. It worked really well.

SeaweedNK · 26/02/2012 20:42

Have you checked with the school what their expectations are for completion of homework? DDs school is a small independent prep and parents are told that the DCs are to do no more than 20 mins on any one piece of of homework. They really don't want kids being forced to spend miserable hours trying to complete work outside of the extended school day as its so counterproductive.

PigeonPair · 26/02/2012 21:09

Trouble is, you can spend 20 minutes cajoling before they even put pencil to paper!!!

cubbie · 26/02/2012 21:21

I'm sorry that I don't have to time to read the whole thread.
Just want to say that I teach 6year olds and started off giving them reading, words (sight vocabulary), counting practice and 5 spelling words per night to write and learn.

I was trying to make it as easy as possible for parents. I have 2 young Ds myself and I know how difficult things can be at night.

I was getting vibes from the parents that it was too much, so I cut it back just to reading and words. There were great improvements in everyone's reading.

Now I have been told, in no uncertain terms, that they must be doing more each night. Quite a few children say they only do their reading, they don't do the rest. My hands are tied. (and yes, I am very irked)

schoolchauffeur · 26/02/2012 21:29

I think this sounds like a lot of work for this age too. My DS was at very small private prep. Had a hw folder sent home every Monday with 10 spellings to be learnt for the following Monday ( copy each word out 3 times to practice handwriting) , 2 straightforward maths worksheets re-inforcing something currently being done in class and sometimes a word matching/colouring sheet. Reading was set but not a specific number of pages - we always did this at bedtime- he read to me then I read him a more difficult book as the bedtime story. He was listened to at school every day too. There was no pressure to get through books and I think because of this he read more- just kept going til he got tired!
The folder then just got taken back next Monday- it was good because you could fit the work in around clubs/hobbies.

VelmaDaphne · 26/02/2012 21:32

It sounds like way too much. I'd be speaking to her teacher about it.

JustAnother · 26/02/2012 21:40

my DS is at private school and he get 1/2 hour homework 4 times per week. He's in Year 4. In year 3 they used to get 3 x 1/2 hour. I think this is enough and any more than that is demotivating for the child and stressful for the parent. IMO, if they need to do much more than that, then they are not doing enough during the school day and the school is just shifting the teaching responsibility to the parents

MollieO · 26/02/2012 21:44

I told ds's teacher that I'd ask him to do it once and if he refused I wouldn't ask again. Sometimes he does it sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he doesn't even bring it home. I doubt that any of the homework your dd is getting (except reading) adds anything to her learning.

I do think there is a tendency for private schools to set homework so parents can see what they are paying for. Personally I am paying for ds to be educated at school and not be bothered by having to do homework when he gets home.

At primary school age I think homework is utterly pointless. I remember visiting a prep is a feeder for the top public schools and they made a point of saying that they do not set homework. Their school day length wasn't any longer either.

pointythings · 26/02/2012 21:49

Sheesh, what a lot of homework! I have 2 DDs at state schools (yr 4 and yr6). DD1 probably does about 2 hours a week total on a heavy week, DD1 half that. It's plenty. They are both 2 to 3 years ahead of age average and I would not want them doing any more.

There is no research showing that homework in primary is of any benefit in terms of academic progress. In secondary the link is tenuous at best. I think parents are their own worst enemies, not trusting teachers to teach and equating 'lots of homework' with 'good school'.

I did no homework at all until secondary, and if the curriculum is so dumbed down these days Smile (I don't believe this for a moment) then surely primary age children these days don't need it either?

Areallytiredwoman · 26/02/2012 21:50

It sounds like a lot - DSS2 has about this amount and he is in year 6. We stopped doing homework for around two years with DSS 2 other than reading. He has SEN and was exhausted when he came home from school after desperately trying to keep up with the others before he was diagnosed with dyslexia. We knew something was wrong and informed the teacher that we as parents felt that the ongoing battle in the evening was making the situation worse and he would not be doing homework.
TBH unless they are at GCSE level, I don't see a need for work other than reading or stuff they are enjoying and want to continue at home. I feel that school is tiring, they are learning all day and need their chill time as much as we do ours.
(Obviously a blatant disregard by the child for tasks set by their teachers is a different matter and we enforce homework now it is appropriate for his needs. Just because I don't agree with homework being set, I won't condone refusal to do it if it is required IYSWIM)

pointythings · 26/02/2012 22:09

What gets me about all this excessive homework is that it gives children working days which are actually longer than what an adult in a paying job would be expected to do - how is that acceptable?