Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To tell au pair about a few small things

68 replies

deliakate · 26/02/2012 16:27

that are driving me mad? She often offers to do washing up, which is great, but she always does that thing of using a running tap and loads of fairy liquid on each plate/pan. Water gets everywhere, and its just a waste. Should I tell her to use a bowl?

I've let go the making tea with lukewarm water thing, and just say no to a cuppa if she makes one.

She's been here 2 weeks.... is this the kind of thing you can mention, or do you just start setting up bad feelings?

Feel like a flatmate again :(

OP posts:

k8tykins · 27/02/2012 13:58

If they're the only things that she's doing wrong, I'd say it's a case of Having to put up & shut up :) say nothing, as have heard some au pair horror stories. As long as the kids like her & she isn't trying to sleep with your husband I'd leave it.

Original poster

deliakate · 27/02/2012 14:21

It feels like a waste because each item gets its own big squirt of fairy and she is not using a bowl at all, just washing every plate under running water, which then runs away down the sink. I wash dishes in a bowl of hot soapy water, and then rinse them if they have lots of bubbles on, but there isn't a tap running constantly throughout. ANYWAY, I'm not too worried about the cost to me, but its not great for the environment.

Description of an au pair from wiki pretty much covers it for us, although she doesn't have sole care, and she socializes with us quite a lot too.

An au pair (plural: au pairs) is a domestic assistant from a foreign country working for, and living as part of, a host family. Typically, au pairs take on a share of the family's responsibility for childcare as well as some housework, and receive a small monetary allowance for personal use.

OP posts:

diddl · 27/02/2012 16:18

So do people who don´t use a bowl wash up like OP´s AP?

PostBellumBugsy · 27/02/2012 16:42

I wash up a bit like the OP's aupair. I put stuff in the sink, wet it all, put washing up liquid on my brush & wash up as much as I can. I then turn on the hot tap & finish each item & rinse with hot water. I only have the tap running constantly for the rinse stage & even then I don't have it blasting out.
I have to confess I think washing up in a bowl or sink of water is disgusting. However, I am aware that this is my own failing & not a reflection of the people who use it all the time & have yet to die of a horrible disease due to washing everything in a bowl of yukky water.

diddl · 27/02/2012 17:20

I use a bowl but obviously anything "too dirty" gets a pre rinse &/or pre wash by using water from the bowl but making sure the water goes down the sink not in the bowl.

CremeEggThief · 27/02/2012 17:28

YABU, sorry.
I think her way of washing up is better than yours, as it's more hygienic. I wash up like that if I don't have access to a dishwasher. I am very fussy about tea and coffee, so I don't let many people make them for me. It's hard to get tea and coffee right, as everyone takes it differently.

diddl · 27/02/2012 17:35

"It's hard to get tea and coffee right, as everyone takes it differently."

True-but do people take it with lukewarm water?

Rinkan · 27/02/2012 17:42

How is it possible to make tea with lukewarm water when you have a kettle?! Does she wait 5 minutes after it has boiled to pour in the water?

The French really do have no idea, most French households don't even have a kettle. Tea is a peculiarly Britsih thing, I am sure that she would not be remotely offended if you showed her how. However washing up is universal and she may well take umbrage about her technicque being questioned.

FWIW I was an au pair once. I did feel a bit put out about being told how to do some things, but frankly I deserved it - putting an opened tin of tomatoes in the fridge instead of decanting the unused tomatoes into a tupperware was one of my more stupid domestic shortcomings. I was 19 and had been spoiled by my mother. However I did in general prefer clear instructions.

On the tea front, I remember one of my first days, being shown the ropes by Madame. After a few hours she said, OK, that"s enough for now, what would you like to do? I said "Oh, I'd love a cup of tea and a sit down". I might as well have said that I fancied a quick jaunt to the moon. My French was fine, but the concept was completeley foreign - they didn't even own a mug.

diddl · 27/02/2012 17:45

"The French really do have no idea, most French households don't even have a kettle."

I was wondering about this-if many just have a coffee jug.

Perhaps she doesn´t realise that she should wait for the kettle to switch off?

CremeEggThief · 27/02/2012 18:03

Diddl, very true. I forgot about the lukewarm bit.

BiddyPop · 27/02/2012 18:28

I have an ap, and I certainly don't think of it as cheap childcare. I still send DD to afterschool in the creche 4 days per week (the ap takes her on Fridays) and pay handsomely for that priviledge.

An AP can be for lots of reasons (I got one when DH was going overseas, so that we could continue the previous routine of me going to work early before DD went to school, and continuing to be the evening collector. I also gave up the fortnightly cleaners' visit to pay for some of it - the AP keeps the place generally clean but I still have to do a lot). And yes, they do live in with the attendant loss of privacy and extra mouths to feed etc. The APs we use have to go to their classes (3 times per week - and mostly they also take any extra free classes that are going). And generally have a lot more free time than any of us has. We rarely take up even 1 night babysitting (the rate we pay, we are due 2).

Have a little chat to make sure she's happy with everything, point out lots of things she does well and that you like, and gently mention anything that is annoying you (in a "I want to help you get this right - the way we like to do it in this house, I know every family is different" way). Cos after 3 months more, it will really start to grate if it keeps going without any change and you will be biting your lip and fuming more often than not. When it can be easily sorted over a general chat.

littleducks · 27/02/2012 18:45

DH likes lukewarm tea (bleurgh!)

I was up like that too, i think it is definately common abroad. I dont use much liquid really a bottle lasts ages.

karlu · 27/02/2012 18:55

I had a few battles with my DH at the beginning about washing up. I just didn't understand what's the point of buying good food if you season it with Fairy liquid.

jade80 · 27/02/2012 19:05

I always think it's cleaner to wash under a running tap rather than a bowl of water. So maybe if she's seen you wash up, she's been thinking 'ick, that's grim!'

littlemisssarcastic · 27/02/2012 19:09

With the au pair doing the washing up, how many bottles of washing up liquid are you using in comparison to how many you were using before she came along?

DinahMoHum · 27/02/2012 19:33

let her wash up her own way, but teach her how to make a proper cup of tea

coffeeinbed · 27/02/2012 19:38

Of course you should tell her.
It's your house.
The running tap would turn me into a murderous harpy.
And better tell her now, because if this festers it will only get worse.

diddl · 28/02/2012 07:49

"The running tap would turn me into a murderous harpy."

Me too!

Can´t bear it.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread