to not understand this?

[extremepie]

I was having a conversation with my sister the other day about the fact that some people are fine with having children with someone else but don't want to get married.

Now, I have no issue with people wanting to stay with their partner and not be married to them but what I can't understand is how some people don't mind having a child with someone, (who is then in both of your lives forever whether you like it or not) but don't like the idea of being married.

Surely having a baby with someone means you are intrinsically linked to that person? You have brought another soul into the world? Surely that is more important than signing a bit of paper together? If you wanted to get divorced from your other half you can rip up that paper and never see that person again if you choose but a baby is a huge step for a couple to take.

Thoughts?

Dint be daft! A wedding lasts a day, having a child a lifetime! You ate overthinking this!

Generalising about teenagers aren't you?? I have 3 teens.... They don't think like that!

Yeah, admittedly I am generalising about teens because I don't know them all! I think that was more based on all the teens that I do know or have known when I was that age.

From what I've encountered, particularly with teenage boys, if you said 'would you like to have sex' they would say 'oh, sex, yeah, I'll have some of that' without really considering some of the potantial consequences - whereas if you said 'would you like to get married' they would feel 'um, no I'm way too young for that, I don't want to be tied down and make that commitment'.

I probably am overthinking it a bit, which is probably why I wanted to see what other people thought!

Well then, in that scenario, the teens would be right!

I express my commitment to dp, the father of my child, through our joint finances, joint mortgage and naming him in my will. My lack of desire to marry him is not about a lack of commitment to him or not wanting to be tied to him forever (which having a child does, getting married does not).

Why does it matter to you anyway?