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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To miss being pregnant? :(

27 replies

nobodyspecial · 25/02/2012 22:04

I don't know why. When I look down and don't see a bump there I get sad.

I've also realised there were loads of things I didn't do whilst I was pregnant - like get on the bus with a big belly (what a stupid thing to think of!) or not taking a pregnancy test in late pregnancy to see how dark the line is (apparantly you stop producing hcg after 12 weeks?).
I also don't have any pics of my bump.

I know these are pretty stupid reasons for missing being pregnant but even with my baby laying next to me, I still wish I could pop him back inside and feel those kicks and squirms again.

I didn't even have an easy pregnancy - it was filled with anxiety and dread, and then the last 5 months is a blur due to constipation, heartburn and spd.

I can understand why some women have babies within a year of having their last one. The temptation is very high right now.

AIBU? Please tell me I am, so I can get over this stupidity.

OP posts:

JoyceDivision · 25/02/2012 22:07

I loved being pg! Would not want another dc, but really miss all aspects of pg, growing bump, the movements, my body shape, labour... miss it all, but then when i think of the dog tiredness that followed, wouldn't want any more dc!

EirikurNoromaour · 25/02/2012 22:09

Umm yes YABU! Enjoy your baby.

Original poster

nobodyspecial · 25/02/2012 22:10

Yeah...the tiredness is a bummer. So are the stitches down below. Wouldn't want those again.

OP posts:

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 25/02/2012 22:10

I always feel a bit like this... I'm hoping it'll stop soon. Just found out I'm expecting dc 3 and dc1 not four yet!

elliejjtiny · 25/02/2012 22:10

How old is your baby? When mine are newborn I always go through a stage of missing my bump and thinking that I didn't enjoy being pregnant enough

Panzee · 25/02/2012 22:11

How old is your son? I remember missing being pregnant, and feeling all special. It didn't last, so don't worry.

GreenEyesAndHam · 25/02/2012 22:12

I remember shortly after having my first baby (awful pregnancy- 9 month sickness, hospitalised several times), lying in the bath and sobbing with the grief of missing the 'baby inside me'.

Even though the baby I adored was snuggled safely with his dad downstairs.

TroublesomeEx · 25/02/2012 22:12

YANBU.

I had 2 really shitty pregnancies, so there are lots of things I didn't do either - e.g. no photos of me pregnant, I looked close to death for most of it!

I was so happy to have had a healthy baby each time, but I was also shocked (the first time at least) to realise how empty I felt without the baby inside me.

I kept having phantom kicks too - which I'm guessing was my uterus contracting, but there were many times I woke up being 'kicked'.

It was the difference between them being part of me and then part of the world. A weird one indeed!

south345 · 25/02/2012 22:13

I really want another dc but wish you could skip the pregnancy bit, I was really sick with both mine then spent most of the last weeks in and out of hospital, I was just constantly worried and poorly!

itsybitsy08 · 25/02/2012 22:15

yanbu. Ds is 11 weeks old and I really miss my bump. I loved feeling him wiggling and kicking inside, and miss it so much, it was a magical feeling. I never felt as body confident as I did when I wad pregnant, and probably never will again. Ds is my last child. They grow so fast, and its all over so quick. If I could afford it, I would have a whole football team!
I feel madly broody, and I am ashamed to say jealous of all friends/family and aquaintences who are currently pregnant.

itsybitsy08 · 25/02/2012 22:19

Mildly envious is probably a better way of describing it than jealous sorry
I sound dead ungrateful there, just to make it clear I am so in love with DS and happy he is here, my heart melts. Just enjoyed being pregnant too!

Original poster

nobodyspecial · 25/02/2012 22:19

He will be 7 weeks next week. The other day I was holding him and was wishing I could open up my chest and put him back in. I keep getting phantom kicks too FolkGirl.

OP posts:

GnomeDePlume · 25/02/2012 22:20

Pregnancy is full of promise and expectation, hopes and fears as well as anxiety and dread. So much of it is imagined - what will my baby be like, how will it be to be a parent?

One of the nice things about pregnancy is feeling special. When someone smiles at you or gives up their seat because they see your bump.

What you have now is the reality, you have your real baby. If you were to get pregnant again quickly (and it is an if there are no guarantees in this life) then you would quickly have another real baby - reality squared.

When you have a baby everything changes so much. Nothing is ever the same again. Have you talked to your Health Visitor about how you feel? I think that what you are feeling is understandable. However, as I said to my DD (16) this morning, babies seldom solve problems.

Original poster

nobodyspecial · 25/02/2012 22:21

itsy I know what you mean. I keep reading posts made by women who are still pregnant and wish I could go back a few months and be pregnant again and think how lucky those women are. I hope this is a normal feeling and passes! I never got this with DD.

OP posts:

Hattie11 · 25/02/2012 22:22

I felt exactly the same op four children later I still miss pg but know we don't need/ can't fit anymore into our house!

My youngest is one and whilst content that I don't want anymore children I do crave pg and giving birth so much I wish I could be a surrogate - but I'm not confident I am strong enough to say goodbye to the baby at the end :(

pleasethanks · 25/02/2012 22:24

Ah, being pregnant was, for me, so much easier than dealing with a newborn and PND! I missed being pregnant hugely, at least I slept and some normality in my life!

itsybitsy08 · 25/02/2012 22:28

Nice to know someone understands :)
i know, i also have dd who is 4 and don't remember feeling this way. Maybe its to do with knowing i won't have any more? Do you know if you might have anymore, or is your DS your last too?

slowburner · 25/02/2012 22:30

I miss my bump.

Next time round I will spend a lot more time appreciating it.

Plaguegroup · 25/02/2012 22:36

YANBU I spent both my pregnancies being sick constantly and after having DS1 thought people who missed being pregnant were a bit odd. Since having DS2 I get bump envy, even though I hated being pregnant I still miss it, which makes no sense at all.

DS2 was my last and I think that probably has something to do with it, knowing I'll never have that 'potential' again.

Original poster

nobodyspecial · 25/02/2012 22:36

I don't know if I will have more. That's the thing - if this is my last baby then I didn't cherish the pregnancy enough.

OP posts:

HardCheese · 25/02/2012 22:46

I'm still pregnant (almost 37 weeks, first-timer) and I can already sense I will be nostalgic for this time, when I lie in the bath watching my bump look like a bag of mad ferrets as the baby limbers up for his late-night exercise routine - even after he comes out.

YANBU in the slightest, but I've had a very easy pregnancy so far compared to some other people, and I've really enjoyed almost all of it. I imagine some people look back on theirs with genuine horror.

Heswall · 25/02/2012 22:48

You are doing very well indeed, my DC4 is nearly 2 and I still have the bump

GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/02/2012 22:50

You are all bloody mad. My dd2 is 6 weeks and I wouldn't be pregnant again for all the world. I could barely walk by 30 weeks. Horrid.

PacificDogwood · 25/02/2012 22:54

YANBU.

I have been pregnant 8 times and have 4 DCs (the others were all early MMC). I loved being pregnant and loved my bump - much nicer than post-natal jelly-belly .
And although I am so done with looking after a baby/toddler every again (I might make an exception for future grandchildren...) I do feel a bit sad at never being pregnant again.

TheSurgeonsMate · 25/02/2012 23:14

I found that wearing the baby in a moby wrap on my front was good for bump grief.

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