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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To object to dd cleaning toilets?

77 replies

BarryStar · 24/02/2012 11:36

I don't how best to handle this, so am seeking viewpoints!

DD (17) has a cleaning job at her school for two hours every day. Most of the cleaners are pupils although there are some adult cleaning staff, including a supervisor. There is a rota drawn up of who cleans what area. However, whereas most people have been assigned areas they clean regularly, dd finds out every day where she is to clean.

Initially she was told that she would have her own room to clean once she had been doing the job for a few weeks. She's been there since October now, and still has no regular room. Quite often (at least twice a week) the supervisor tells her to go and clean the toilets - not a particular set of toilets, but any set he tells her to go to. This is despite the fact that her name is not on the rota against the toilets. The toilets are supposed to be cleaned by the adult "proper" cleaning staff.

She has pointed this out a couple of times, and has been told that, when a regular room becomes available, she will be assigned one of those. This hasn't happened.

Ok - I really really don't want her cleaning these loos. The stories she tells me of the state they are often in makes me feel ill. I won't revolt you all before lunch with the details but let your imaginations run riot!

It's not a case of me thinking cleaning toilets is beneath her, although personally I would never expect anyone to clean one after me. However, I do think she is being taken advantage of, and I also think that she should be given proper equipment (eg, overalls, gloves, clean loo brushes etc).

She doesn't like doing it, but does do it because of the money. I have told her what I think but haven't made an issue of it. But the things she tells me are so disgusting and I just don't think she should have to deal with it. So if I insist she gives up the job, am I giving her the wrong message (ie, making her think she is "too good" for this sort of work), or am I allowing my dd to be taken for a ride! As I said earlier, she has tried to tackle the issue with the supervisor, but hasn't got anywhere.

So WWYD?

OP posts:
LilacWaltz · 24/02/2012 11:38

So she shouldn't have to 'deal with it'? So who should then?

Distended · 24/02/2012 11:38

She is a cleaner. What is she there for if not to clean?Confused

dandelionss · 24/02/2012 11:39

YANBU.If the rule is that toilets are supposed to be cleaned by adults and she is not being issued with teh proper equipment and protective clothing it does sound as if she is being taken advantage of.

troisgarcons · 24/02/2012 11:40

is this paid for work? Or some sort of heinous community service/detention scheme?

If she's being paid, then she cleans what she is told to clean; end of. Although equipment and gloves should be provided.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 24/02/2012 11:44

She's a cleaner...what does it matter what she cleans?? She is 17, not 7! Plenty old enough to clean a bog!

PeppyNephrine · 24/02/2012 11:44

its good enough for the other cleaners but not for her? Do they make a lot more money than her?
She's not a baby, you should mind your own business and leave it to her.

aldiwhore · 24/02/2012 11:45

There's a couple of issues here.

Firstly, whilst I wouldn't expect anyone to clean a loo after me, in public toilets someone has to, the loos need cleaning, and whilst you say that you don't believe loo cleaning is beneath your dd, you are at the same time. The loos need cleaning by a cleaner, your dd is a cleaner and therefore should be expected to ocassionally clean the toilets on a rota basis. So, YABU.

The other issue is the equipment. Your dd needs the right tools for the job. If she isn't being provided with them she should refuse to carry out the task. For that, YANBU to expect your dd is provided with the right tools.

The other issue is that she's not been assigned a room yet, this is probably because there isn't one available yet, there probably won't be until someone else leaves. Who is above the superviser? Is you dd really being treated unfairly or is it just 'one of those things'? You need to find this out really. YANBU to be concerned.

I would suggest to dd that if her job isn't working out, then you have no issue with her looking around for something more suitable. If she doesn't want to give up her job then she needs to try and tackle some of the issues firmly... by going above the superviser if necessary, but I think you both need to accept that someone has to clean the toilets, its an unpleasant part of the job but a necessary one, providing she has the right tools.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 24/02/2012 11:45

..and yes of course you are giving her the wrong message if you tell her to quit........if she has a problem then she is old enough to sort it herself, she is too old for mummy to be fighting her battles for her!

Sorry, I mean that in the nicest way tho :)

Original poster
BarryStar · 24/02/2012 11:46

Thanks for the answers.

No, it is paid work. But the guidelines are that the adult cleaners do the toilets.

I want her to do as she's told, but the question for me is, should she be told to clean the loos when the adults are supposed to.

OP posts:
Devora · 24/02/2012 11:46

I really don't see why a 17 year old shouldn't be cleaning toilets. My first paid work was toilet-cleaning in an office - I was 15. Toilet-cleaning IS disgusting, and most of us would rather not do it. But there is some value - don't you think? - in doing so?

Your other point is that she is being unfairly treated on the rota. Well, maybe she is and maybe she isn't. But given that nothing GHASTLY is happening to her, I would step back and let her sort it out herself. It's quite a common experience that the newest/youngest team members get given more than their fair share of the shitty jobs, isn't it?

i truly think you are over-involved in this. Your dd is old enough to get married, leave school, have a baby, drive a car. All round the world, 17 year olds are earning money by cleaning shitty toilets! Why is this such an awful thing for your dd to do? It's not forever, is it? And what message do you give her by intervening and expressing your disapproval? Surely, just that you think she IS too good to be cleaning up shit, and should leave it to other people who AREN'T too good to do so.

This is a really important development opportunity for her - not least in understanding the world of work and how to negotiate with supervisors, work in a team etc. Please leave her to get on with it.

PeppyNephrine · 24/02/2012 11:47

she's 17, and working. She is an adult.

Distended · 24/02/2012 11:47

17 is an adult though isn't it?

Devora · 24/02/2012 11:48

So when she turns 18 will you be happy for her to do them?

Distended · 24/02/2012 11:48

Also think your far to involved in this, she's out of school now and should be dealing with these issues herself

Devora · 24/02/2012 11:49

It's not a question for you, OP; it's a question for your daughter. Honestly, you are infantilising her over this.

WorraLiberty · 24/02/2012 11:50

She's old enough to be married with children

I don't see how you can 'insist' on anything

If she's happy then leave her be

If she becomes unhappy then I'm sure she'll sort it out herself or leave.

Original poster
BarryStar · 24/02/2012 11:50

People have left since she started but she still has no room of her own. I'm not planning on getting involved with the supervisor at all, so no question of me fighting her battles, just don't know if I should tell her more emphatically that I don't like her doing it.

I'm interested to hear that, so far, most people think she should get on with it. And if that turns out to be the majority opinion, then I'll not say anything. I just hate the idea of her having to deal with such horrible stuff. But, again, you're right, to point out that she is 17 and not a baby.

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 24/02/2012 11:51

If, as you say, the toilets are supposed to be cleaned by the adult cleaning staff and it is in a contract or letter of employment that pupils are not supposed to clean the toilets, then of course she shouldn't be cleaning them and she can object with impunity. It all hinges on that, really.

LilacWaltz · 24/02/2012 11:51

When is she 18?

silverfrog · 24/02/2012 11:52

If the policy at the school is that the adults shoudl be cleaning the toilets, then it is a little odd that your dd is sent to do so.

She should definitely also have whatever is deemed to be proper equipment to do so (which may not be the same as you use at home).

aside from that, toilets do get into a state, and yes it is disgusting having to clean them. Is your dd the most recent ot join the team?

I spent half my life at university cleaning the halls to pay the bills, and as the lowliest member of whichever hals I was assigned to that week, got all the shitty (literally) jobs.

a particular highlight was having to scrub the skirting under the urinals, as it hadn't been done for a while - the floor was washed/polished daily using one of those machine thingys, but the skirting 2 inches higher was not

is she sent ot clean toilets instead of any one particular adult (eg her supervisor, or another memebr of the team who does not want to do so) or is it just that she is there, she needs a job to do, and that job needs doing?

EauDeLaPoisson · 24/02/2012 11:52

WTF? Adults? So if she was a year older it would be ok for her to scrub bogs?
You really wont do your daughter any favours in life you know (harks back to the days of being 15 and employed to be a 'washer up' in a chinese restaurant with only boiling hot water and expected to be a general dogsbody too and be happy about being groped by the head chef...)

GwendolineMaryLacey · 24/02/2012 11:52

YANBU regarding the proper equipment and the fact that she hasn't yet been allocated a room.

But there is no reason why she shouldn't clean them and it should be for her to sort out. I agree with everyone else.

Distended · 24/02/2012 11:54

just don't know if I should tell her more emphatically that I don't like her doing it.

sorry but she is really too old for you to tell her to stop her job because mummy don't like it.Grin

lesley33 · 24/02/2012 11:55

Also you say that guidelines say adults should clean the toilets. If by this you meran that it says in an ideal situation 18's and over should be cleaning the toilets then YABU. Most jobs have ideal guidelines that are not realistic to follow most of the time. For example, bus drivers guidelines mean they are supposed to wait until every passenger has sat down in their seat before moving away from the bus stop.

fedupofnamechanging · 24/02/2012 11:56

Are the adults paid more because they are supposed to do the worst jobs? If yes, and they are passing that onto your less well paid dd, then yes, they are taking the piss.

Fwiw, I had a weekend job cleaning in an old people's home when I was 16. It taught me that I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life doing this kind of job, so I pulled my finger out at school and did some work (although not enough, looking back). Perhaps this will work in your daughters favour, long term.