To be furious over baby left unstrapped in baby swing

[luimneach]

I returned home to find that my friend, who had been babysitting my five-month old for an hour or so, had placed him in his baby swing without the safety harness. I was (and am) absolutely livid. Is this unreasonable?

To be 'livid' yes. She wasn't trying to hurt the baby. Just explain the need for straps and get over it.

Yabu to be livid. It's not like she was letting him juggle knives or giving him coke in a bottle
Relax a bit because it's not worth falling out with a friend who is kind enough to offer babysitting duties.

Yabu. Although I understand how you would be worried,pint out that the baby must wear the harness. Don't piss off a free babysitter!

YABU
nothing happened , and I presume the baby wasn t positioned up on the kitchen worktop or table , or by a open-door while the sitter was in the garden ?
Really what is the worst that could have happened ?

Maybe you should give your next free babysitter a risk assessment ( joking - please don't !)

YAB a bit OTT. Was the baby hurt? was the swing on concrete? or indoors on a carpet?

Does your friend have DC herself? Because if not, you probably should have thought to let her know that it's important to use safety straps etc.

If it had been a high up highchair on a quarry tiled floor and she'd left hin on his own for ages - then your reaction would be more understandable.

I hope you didn't upset your friend too much.

YABU unless she was being malicious. I accidentally dropped a ten month old once through sheer stupidity and the mother was so gracious... I felt awful but it was just lack of experience.

I hope you did not hospital at your friend but just told her about the straps

Shout at

Not hospital

Damn autocorrect

But I did show him (it was a male friend) how to use the straps and got a reply along the lines of 'yeah, chill, no hassle'.

If he was watching the baby and hadn't left the room / gone to sleep then you are being a bit PFB.

And how old is this male friend? OK, being angry is getting more reasonable if he deliberately ignored your instructions - but still not up to "livid" yet...

chill out

At first I thought you were talking about a baby swing in a playground, which might have been a bit of a worry. A baby swing on the floor, though, is only a few inches off the ground so I think you need to chill out a bit (unless he had left your baby completely unattended like that or had put the swing up on a table).
Babies roll off beds, get dropped, get their heads banged on door frames etc etc they are surprisingly resilient!

YABU. chill.

What form did your being livid take?

It's maddening, yes, but no harm was actually done right?

It's one of those things where your heart takes a bit of a leap, but in the grand scheme of things is no biggie. As others have said, it's not like it was on concrete, or a table top was it.

If you are going to be very uptight about this kind of thing, then best remove the baby swing and any other potentially risky items before you go out. Give clear instructions about where you want your baby - ie on carpet, in cot, pram etc. you were only out for an hour- a baby doesn't need to go in a swing right then

Well if my babysitter said "yeah chill no hassle" I'd be a bit if it was something important to me. So YABU, you should have made it clearer.

DS at 5 months was trying to sit up and would lean forward in his bouncer so straps def needed! Would be a bit nasty if he'd fallen face down even into carpet. Even with DD (PSB) I make sure She's strapped in at 12 weeks old.

YAB a little U. As others have said it's really not the end of the world.

I probably would have been a tiny bit annoyed, but certainly not livid!

YABU! Ive only just started strapping my 9 month old in his, a bit daft, yes. But livid? Whooaa.

Im guessing she knows how mad you are?

Did you tell him how cross you were?

YABU presumably your friend was doing you a favour by babysitting, and not the other way round, if his standards of care are not good enough then lesson learnt, pay someone qualified next time/stay in. However, I would have made sure he understood what to do in the first place abs had I not been 100% confident wouldn't have taken him up on his offer/changed my plans.

@ Thumbwitch: you asked how old he is: in his thirties. I didn't say anything - just pointedly removed the baby from the swing. I get the point that he was doing me a favour but still feel that my instructions were just brushed aside and that upsets me. Still, judging from the comments on the thread, maybe I over-reacted.

Next time say to him "Can you make sure she is strapped in as we had a near miss the other day when she nearly fell out?"

Well he sounds a bit irresponsible, and even though the non-strapping in this case might not have been a major issue (which I really don't think it was), he might next time not strap the baby in when he takes him for a walk in his pushchair - and that's a hell of a lot worse. DH tried that once - I had a right go at him and strapped DS in properly - and providentially that was the day that DH nearly tipped the pram over trying to get it up the pavement (caught the wheel). If DS hadn't been strapped in, it would have been bad, but luckily he was. DH never questioned it again.

UP to you whether you think it was a genuine mistake, or whether he's just being too slack with your baby's safety - his comment suggests slackness to me but you know him better.

I get the point that he was doing me a favour but still feel that my instructions were just brushed aside and that upsets me

Have you put yourself in your friend's position and seen how it looks?