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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be furious over baby left unstrapped in baby swing

45 replies

luimneach · 24/02/2012 04:03

I returned home to find that my friend, who had been babysitting my five-month old for an hour or so, had placed him in his baby swing without the safety harness. I was (and am) absolutely livid. Is this unreasonable?

OP posts:

AngryFeet · 24/02/2012 09:19

Blimey I barely ever used the straps. They seem to lie so far back that unless they are able to pull themselves up into sitting position I doubt they would fall out. Unless he was swinging it really high of course which I dont think it can do anyway?

nowittynamehere · 24/02/2012 09:20

I would be midly miffed but not Livid about it , your baby is fine next time tell friend baby must be strapped in the swng , or get somebody else to baby sit

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 24/02/2012 09:23

What sort of swing is it? (link needed) It's hard to say without knowing the type of swing.

brdgrl · 24/02/2012 09:26

1.) I don't think the point that the baby was not actually hurt is relevant at all.

2.) It also doesn't really make a difference that your friend was doing you a favour.

Those points might temper your response a bit, but they don't actually change the situation. You trusted him to look after the baby. He could not possibly have missed seeing the safety straps, and it would only require a tiny bit of common sense to think "oh, look, safety straps; those must be there for a reason." He didn't use them. It would NBU to be a little upset, and to let your friend know he'd made a mistake. "Livid" would possibly be an overreaction, sure - BUT, since his response when you told him your concern was to dismiss your feelings, I can see how that would have inflamed your feelings about the whole thing. It feels shitty when people dismiss your worries or instructions as a parent. If he had said "sorry, I didn't realise, I will use them next time", I hope you'd have been fine with it all and thanked him and that would have been the end of it.

Gribble · 24/02/2012 09:28

yabu if its one of the swings Im thinking about (like an A-frame thing, quite low to the ground with a fairly high backed / fronted seat?). I had one for DS1 and never used the straps because there is no way he could have fell out of it, and I wanted to be able to get him out quickly if he threw up.

nowittynamehere · 24/02/2012 09:31

when mine were little the baby swing i had didnt have a harness maybe thats why i was a bit dismissive they just had a lap belt and tbh they are quite safe for babies ,

StrandedBear · 24/02/2012 09:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

luimneach · 24/02/2012 09:55

It wasn't just the shoulder harness that was untied - he had no straps attached anywhere and even the toy bar was pushed up. And he is a wriggly baby and entirely capable of slithering off.

OP posts:

nowittynamehere · 24/02/2012 09:58

so your friend just let the baby sit on the swing ? YANBU he was beng lax about it ,

Original poster

luimneach · 24/02/2012 10:01

@nowittynamehere: Yes, he was just sitting on a moving swing completely unattached

OP posts:

mojitomania · 24/02/2012 10:02

You are being a tad unreasonable OP to be so cross. Poor friend, bet they won't want to do you a favour and babysit for you anymore.

Original poster

luimneach · 24/02/2012 10:14

@mojitomania: Well, I wasn't cross to him as I wasn't sure whether I was in the right. But I certainly would never ask him to look after the baby again. I wouldn't mind if I had mentioned nothing about the safety straps but I did specifically show him how they worked in advance.

OP posts:

nowittynamehere · 24/02/2012 10:17

@luimneach then you are right to be annoyed at him I was thinking it was an enclosed swing iyswim and just not strapped in , your friend was being lazy and even though your baby didnt slip she couldve ,

nowittynamehere · 24/02/2012 10:17

he not she sorry op ,

dandelionss · 24/02/2012 11:31

YABU wait until you see what your PFB does to your next baby!

Original poster

luimneach · 24/02/2012 11:48

@dandelionss: he is indeed my first baby - is it so obvious?

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 24/02/2012 11:55

um, yes!

barbigirl · 24/02/2012 13:01

You could try and look at it another way: the baby was left in the swing unstrapped and nothing bad happened at all.

I don't think it was a 'near miss'- maybe just an indication that many of these straps etc are basically superfluous additions that they put on to comply with generalised legislation. Of course you should always be careful- but, realistically, if the baby somehow managed to 'fall' a few inches on to the floor- what would happen?

redridingwolf · 24/02/2012 13:03

actually I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I would be upset, and since you specifically showed him how to use the harness then he was being negligent not to use it.

a small fall can be harmful - most babies have the odd tumble and are fine, but some are not.

flyingspaghettimonster · 24/02/2012 14:48

Our 3rd kid slept in his swing for 6 months... we had a blanket under him and then laid him in it on flattest setting, blanket on top and the tray extinguished on top, but not clicked. No harness at night. In 6 months he only slipped out once (on to pillow underneath) and it was worth the risk since he slept better there than anywhere else.

5 minutes seems really unlikely to have caused problems and surely the tray holds baby in if clicked down. Unless he was swinging violently I don't see a problem.

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