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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder how I stop my son being so annoying and worry that it'll cost him all his friends?

55 replies

WhiteTrash · 24/02/2012 01:00

This is stopping me from sleeping.

My 5 year old son is a beautiful, kind, generous, lovely warm boy I dont find him annoying and woukd not describe him as such myself. . Despite a couple of stages of horrific tantrums, hes just a brilliant child.
The thing is, sometimes he gets so excited he cant control himself which I know can be relatively normal but its starting to cost him his friends.

For example, if we were to bump into a school friend in the shops, he'd instantly start acting daft, giggle uncontrollably, make silly noises, run around slamming into things, make daft gestures, pull faces, all the while the other child is Hmm.

Ive not thought much of it, Ive noticed no other child does it quite like him, or at all but his dad said he was the same. And he's five, he'll grow out of it.

Except Im noticing at school hes making friends but it never lasts "He doesnt want to play with me anymore and I dont know why."

I see in the line up in the morning he'll see someone he likes amd just be really in their face, making the daft noises and faces.

Today though, I was making conversation asking if he played with his most recent friend, H. He said;

"No, H doesnt want to play with me anymore because I love him soooooo much. I love him so, so much it annoys him. I love him so much I think my heart might pop out my mouth."

I said thats a lovely thing to say about someone, but why do you think hes annoyed with you?

"I dont know, he just keeps saying stop it."

So, I gently explained that when hes gettong over excited to stop and take a deep breath, listen to him when he asks you to stop it the first time and try and play a bit calmer.
Its the third friend whos done this, the others ignore him now and wont go anywhere near him.

Hes such a lovely, kind child it breaks my heart that its coming at them woth such force.

At home we dont see the overexcitedness unless something out of the ordinary happens.

AIBU to be genuinely worried about him losing all his friends??

OP posts:
SparkyTGD · 24/02/2012 12:19

Lots of good advice on this thread.

My DS (nearly 7) went through a 'phase' like this when he was younger & we did tolerate it at times, like others have said, there are times when its ok to be zany & I wouldn't want to suppress it completely.

He mostly grew out of it but can still do it at times so its fun as its only (usually) in appropriate situations, eg running round the park or big garden.

He has one friend who is like this all the time & my DS is a bit intolerant but plenty others are fine with him.

If he isn't doing it at home then its likely that he will be able to control it & keep it to appropriate situations as he gets older.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 24/02/2012 13:26

He sounds like a lovely boy :)

I think the most important thing you need to drum into him is that other people's bodies are their own. So, loving someone is wonderful, but if they don't want to be touched, or have their space invaded, then you really need to pay heed to that. That will stand him in good stead all through life. Maybe you could teach him to check with other children first "can I hug you?", or observe whether they look happy or sad and act accordingly.

porcamiseria · 24/02/2012 15:13

some great advice wilsongrickett

aww, this thread has given me a lump in throat as we all know kids like this

WilsonFrickett · 25/02/2012 00:04

YY I forgot the celebratory bit Blush also look for things that will play to his strengths. Drama maybe, dance. Get him to start making up little songs about his feelings.

myBOYSareBONKERS · 25/02/2012 06:40

My son aged 8 is like this. He does have a diagnosis of ADHD and maybe ASD. He just doesn't have any social skills and it is embarrassing.

I also have a little chat with my boys (ds2 age 4) about appropriate behaviours etc before we go somewhere.

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