Hello I'm new here. Husband swearing AIBU ...

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My OH thinks I'm overreacting but I find his constant swearing really offensive and it's getting me down that he won't check his behaviour.

For instance, he came home tonight - just now - was in the kitchen getting some water and our ever hopeful cat was meowing for food - OH told him to F@@k off!

Other times OH swears on front of our children and when I ask him to curb it he just says that "he can't change who he is". Now don't get me wrong - I can swear like a trouper at times but ALWAYS make sure it's not in front of the kids.

So AIBU to ask that he grows a pair and deal with his unreasonable behaviour here?

YABU about the cat

YABNU about the DC

His behaviour is not 'who he is' - it is a behaviour learnt and which can easily be changed.

YABU to not spell 'fuck' properly! We don't do twee edits on MN - you can go on and have a proper swear.

I doubt very much that your cat will be offended at being sworn at.

But, YANBU to ask/expect your OH to curb his language in front of your children.

Has he always been like this?

YANBU regarding the children. I LOVE swearing, but I really do try and temper it around them... and even though its habit with me, they don't hear too much at all unless I'm driving, swearing is allowed by all if driving, they can't drive... unlucky

The cat won't care. YABU to expect nice language in front of a cat. They like swear words.

YANBU- I can't stand fucking swearing.

I should think the cat was utterly confused, tbh. I mean how do you actually pronounce F@@k, anyway?

Next time, tell him to instruct the hungry moggy to Fuck Off.

he's a fucker

kick him in the cunt

And then tell him he is a cunt.

ACtually, YANBU.

If he cant change who he is then tell him that you cant change who you are, which is someone who gets an irrestistible urge to kick him in the bollo...sorry, testicles, when you hear him swear!

Pandemoniaa F@@k is a phonetic pronunciation, originating in the Essex/Kent borders;
"Faaahck", as in "F@@k off cat, I ain't feeding yah, yah greedy F@@kah".

maybe he has Tourette's??

I've never known a cat to have tourettes

I swear in front of my children all the time - dd complained earlier that the tv had 'frozen', I was reading ds his bedtime story at the time and retorted that I was busy right now, but she would persist. In the end I said in exasperation "look dd, I don't give a fairy fuck about the tv". She didn't spontaneously combust or faint on the spot. Nor does she talk like a trucker (I've explained to her the petit bourgeois disdain for swearing and the need to spare others and their quaint / delicate sensibilities)

OP I think YANBU about swearing in front of the kids by the way.
I'd ask him is what he thinks about them using that language. If he's happy for them to swear at him/you/his mum/teachers/any random stranger they meet (which they will if he keeps doing it), then you've got a hard job getting him to stop. If he thinks that's not ok, then he'll have to start moderating his language in front of them.
It's a real effort at first, so don't expect miracles! A swearbox works for some, but that might simply make it more of a big deal to your kids.

Tiddly

YANBU to want him to stop swearing in front of the kids, but does it really matter what he says to the cat? It doesn't understand!

Call the cunt a cunt for swearing like a cunt. Then kick him in the cunt til his tits fall off! :o

As long as he's not swearing at the kids or being very agressive it wouldn't really bother me. I naturally curb my swearing around kids but kids know there is a difference between what adults are allowed to say and what kids are allowed to say - and if yours don't, simply teach them, it's not a big deal.

I tell my cat to fuck off too!
Presumably he's always sworn, why the big fuss now?

I "told" my cat to fuck off this morning at half six when he was meowing like a twat outside my bedroom window. I threw the remains of my pint of water out the window at him too, is that cat abuse? I wasn't aware that the neighbour was leaving for work at the same time. Perhaps he will be quieter in the future .

if he's telling your kids to fuck off the is unreasonable ..

if he is telling that cat to fuck off that is not unreasonable

Some people swear .....some people don't .............and as long as not encouraging your children to let it slide .....or tell him he is fucking you off by swearing

YANBU
I hate swearing round kids. How do you expect them to learn not to swear if you can't control your own language? And children swearing is really horrible, IMO

for asome it is hard to stop swearing... but he should make an effort in front of the children, apologise if he slips up and teach them that it is naughty/inappropiate.

Cats swear like troopers too so I don't suppose your cat was bothered. I guess the swearing was something your husband did before you married him and had children? So in a way YABU to expect him to change just because he got married and had children.

Bollocks Callisto. We almost all swear like troopers on here, DH and I are very sweary, but we moderated our language around the DCs, because it's the reasonable thing to do - its like quitting smoking (thit's nor

Oops
..like quitting smoking (though not as important of course).