AIBU to be irritated with my MIL?

[millskii]

my in laws are from northern ireland and are coming over this weekend to visit us and our 7 month old son. in the past when they have visited, my mother in law takes over my house - does all the cooking, cleaning, laundry. At first I was grateful for the help, but now I feel as if she is trying to upstage me. I feel offended and its as if she thinks im incapeable of taking care of my family. I have voiced this to my other half, but he just says 'shes only trying to help'. my MIL is a nanny by profession and has devoted her life to bringing up her 3 sons, the other two still both live at home with her (they are 28 and 30), and she still washes their pants, cooks 3 meals a day, etc. AIBU to be irritated with her? How should I handle this situation? i can feel its starting to bug me and i dont want these feelings to develop into resentment.

I'm glad others have mentioned the NI thing, because that's what I thought straight away! My MIL is from there too and just like this, I think it's a cultural thing. She's a really kind, loving person and just doesn't like to allow herself relaxation time when there's stuff to be done. I've never met your MIL, OP, so maybe this is all some passive aggressive statement. But I suspect its more likely she feels guilty about taking time out, and almost unworthy of it. Maybe the best thing to do is to ask her to take DS out for a walk/play with him as it'd be a real help to you while you sort some housework out.

Plus, you know, with her flying over and coming for a few days, its all more high octane than it would be if she lived down the road and nipped in sometimes. She probably feels bad about coming and descending on you for a few days, especially when you have a new baby, and wants to make sure she doesn't cause inconvenience. And you know, lots of people do find it really stressful to have house guests.

Rule - it had gone off! It was close to the expiry date when she brought it (already open, with a tiny bit gone) and I used it for tea but by the sixth day it was starting to smell. I don't use much milk so an extra litre was bound to go waste as I already had a two-litre bottle open when she arrived. I agree that it was a total waste and if she had had the sense not to bring it it wouldn't have been wasted.