Child walking home from school alone..

[VonHerrBurton]

Ok so work are offering me more hours - I currently only do a few over the week but love what I do and would relish that bit more money! Have been a SAHM since ds started school in 2007. Started this job at Christmas. DH emergency service worker so shifts are not 9 - 5. AIBU to let my ds (9, 10 in Sept) walk the five minutes from school - home and let himself in, maybe once, twice a week for an hour or so? He'd be alone, no other dc.

He's sensible and I trust him to go straight home, lock himself in and not answer door etc. Just typing this is making me feel sick at the thought, actually! I don't HAVE to do the extra hours, I'd just like to and want MN jury verdict.

Mum is around a lot but has lots of holidays, plus I don't want her to feel tied down, she would, and does, help me so much anyway. I have people who are around - we all help one another with respective dc, it's just there will be times when I have nobody to ask. I'm waffling 'cos I'm in such a quandry over it! I have a feeling there will be some mixed opinion!

I would, well, do.
My dd is 10.5 now, but has walked home and let herself in on the odd occasion since this time last year. I think the key is, that it doesn't have to happen very often. She loves it. We're lucky enough to have lovely neighbours she could go or phone to if was worried abut anything, and, because it's just occasional, she knows she's "on trust" and considers it a privilige / treat and doesn't do anything to jeapodise it. In truth, she rarely walks on her own anyway as other families walk in this direction, so it's not an isolated walk.
It sounds as if it would be the same for you - dh there sometimes, you Mum around sometimes, you there sometimes, the odd visit to friends - so it would keep it's 'novelty value'. I wouldn't do it on a daily basis at this age.

My DS is exactly the same age as yours and I wouldn't at present, because our walk is a good 20 minutes with a few tricky roads (no crossings and poor visibility).
If we had a 5 minute walk and it is for the occasional hour, like you, then as long as you set some ground rules and your DS is happy to be left, I would.

I did this when I was 10. Except my walk home was about a half hour, along city streets.

You need to lay out some rules, though, for what he can do when he's home alone. Don't use kitchen appliances, leave a snack out for him if he usually has one. When I was about his age I set a piece of bread on fire in the toaster :o somehow had the presence of mind to put oven gloves on and take it outside as I had no idea what else to do. I'm rambling, but that's the sort of thing you'll need to think about.

I did this from the last year at primary school although was October born so early. It was fine. My DS also did this from the end of Year 5 and is very responsible. My DD will be much older when I trust her with a key but maybe that is because she is the yongest. He should be fine.

We do. I haven't read all the above comments, but would you feel happier if he contacted you as soon as he got back? And maybe again by text every 20-30 mins until you got home.

I works for us.

Still reading all posts, grateful for any input, thank you all.

I too, along with my younger sister, walked to and fro' school from about age 8 and let ourselves in, as did a lot of other people on this thread. In fact it's one of my earlier memories of my childhood - wearing a key like a necklace under my primary school vest! I don't remember how I felt about it - as everyone did it, I just remember going in, putting Scooby Doo on and soon after my Mum arriving home.

I think primary school age is too young personally. If he was 11 and at secondary school then I'd say it was ok, but not coming home to an empty house from junior school. It's not the walking home alone, that's fine, it's the empty house.

KatandKit That was the highlight of DS2's day!!

Having the house to himself for an hour.
He would make himself a milkshake, get changed and have the tv ALL TO HIMSELF!!!!!

I wouldn't have done it every night but it worked for us.

But as I think I said earlier he only lived a few minutes from school and I wasn't concerend about the route.

My son is the exact same age and I am not happy to let him walk the 3min from his school to his dad's work. I have always said 11 onwards would be better as he would be in secondary school and a bit more independence would be needed.

What is the route like he would have to walk?
How would the extra hours convert into days home late?

I feel nervous replying and think thats why I know I couldn't do this with DS yet. Would afterschool club be an option?

My DS is 11 and has walked home from school every day since he was 9, however i do work from home. I also leave him in the house for up to about half an hour while doing shopping, taking DD to Rainbows or whatever & he's looked after his sister (6 yo) for 10 minutes before now as well. He's a very trustworthy lad... however... he's also as absentminded as you could possibly imagine and i dread to think about how many door keys we would get through, even with keyrings attached to him somehow, I know he'd loose the damn thing!
I don't think you sound ready to let him tbh, I'd look at other options for the time being.

I think the key with these type of questions, is that you all think of your own dc (knowing their personality and how responsible/mature/sensible that are/aren't) and you also think of your route home from school.
Clearly if you live within about 600m of the school, and lots of families are walking your way and the only road crossings are manned by lollipop men/ladies, it's different from a mile's walk with tricky junctions to cross. Equally, it's harder with your first born, than it is when you've been used to older siblings doing things independently. Their personality plays a huge part too.
If you'd asked me the same question about my ds at that age, I'd have said "not in a million years". dd1 (who is 3 school years below) could be left alone before ds could, because she is calm, sensible, and follows rules laid down. ds, OTOH, is impulsive, shall we say organisationally challenged, and never, ever, ever thinks things through. dd2 (who is in Yr 5 and does occasionally walk home alone) does it no problem, but she's had lots of experience of being out without adults, when she's gone down the shop with her brother or sister, or been left here while I go out, etc.

backforgood I think you are right.
I pictured my child and the walk and the state I found him in when I got home (relaxed, watching SpongeBob) when I made my comments.

You know what is best for your child tbh.

My 10yo DD would almost certainly have lost her door keys within seconds of leaving the house in the morning

This week,just down the road from me a 12yr old boy got knocked down and killed. I saw them put him into the ambulance. It was so sad. But anybody at any age can be hit by a car, at any age. Where do you draw the line?
You know what your chilren are capable of.

lol at those saying their kids love going home to an empty house

do they have a real choice about it ? LOL

Well exactly appled - the father of one of DD's best friends was killed by a car mounting the pavement. it would have killed anyone who was walking on that pavement at that time - including a child with a parent. You cannot hope to remove all risks and you have to balance that risk with the disadvantage or restricting your child's experience and independence. And in this case the OPs' employment opportunities.

The primary school playground is an important area from a social point of view, and your DS may miss out. When they're primary school age, they need your permission for ad-hoc activities. Less so at secondary level. It's more than a question of whether he's on his own at home for an hour or so at the end of the day, when there's fun to be had with friends elsewhere.

Lots of comments about other people's 10 year olds - OP's son is 9.5.

Of course, they're all different anyway, just being pedantic today, sorry.

I wouldn't have a problem with walking home alone at that age - at my DC's school this is a 'perk' for pupils in Y5 and 6, if OP's son is 10 in Sept then I would guess he's Y4 now, would the school be ok for him to leave unaccompanied?
I would be less happy about returning to an empty house for an hour, though, think he's a bit young for that.

Yes yes I know lots of us did that years ago, but that was then!

feedme Yes mine did tbh.
The choice was go to the afterschool
go to his mates house - the mum offered
Pay for a teenage neighbour to keep an eye on him
go to an afterschool activity (different from afterschool club) and I would pick him up from there. (football, chess or eco gardening were the choices)

Even now he pushes for us to go out so he can take charge of the remote!

He was always involved in the decision making and if he was uncomfortable after trying it out we would have done something else.

It's unfair to suggest it was a like it or lump it scenario.