To think a psychopath/vampire/ax-murderer/zombie is about to turn up on my doorstep?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

The wind is howling round the house, making those awful spooky noises that never presage good news in the movies. It sounds like werewolves are stalking round the back door. It is still daylight, but it is a dark, gloomy, rainy day, and I am in the house on my own - that has to mean that Disaster is about to strike, doesn't it?

If I am found scattered in separate suitcases, all over Scotland, or become very pale and do a lot of posting at night, or if I suddenly want to eat my steak really, really rare, and need to buy a lot more flea powder - you will know that I was right to be worried.

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Or find an old dusty ouija board that you think would be "fun" to use one night with your cheerleader friend?

No - but there is this interesting-looking board-game....

And when you reach out slowly and slide the lid of the box containing the game to one side , there is a very old and faded picture there,and when you look closely at it (with confused expression , of course) you can just about make out that it is a picture off..........?????

Wear the Victorian mightier, backcomb your hair and start 'wuthering' around the house... give the posture a shock.

Posture?? Postie