Just go to bed and take your germs with you, you pathetic weasel!

[BupcakesandCunting]

DH is ill. Just a bit of the old diarrhoea, nowt life-threatening. He is insisting on being ill downstairs though and it's getting right on my wick. If someone said to me "honestly, just go to bed for the day. Put the television on and I'll bring you up a drink" I wouldn't need to be told twice, let alone six times. As it is, he's sitting on the sofa fully dressed in jeans, jumper, tweed jacket, shoes as if he's going to go out on a country stroll. I've just offered to make him a hot drink and he did some whiney noises about a Cup-a-Soup so I've done him his pissing soup and he is now holding his mug like a camp John Inman with his legs crossed. Oh God I want to punch him in the throat.

JUST GO TO BED. I know you're ill, I don't need you moping about to prove it.

Tell him to go to bed or you will

Thanks for the laugh!

I googled John Inman. I now have hilarious mental images.

Sorry I can't be more sympathetic - too busy chuckling.

How about you go to bed with the telly crosses that out as who wants practical help in that situation... unless...

It is stunning sunshine here tho, so in all seriousness - if same for you go out for a bit... you know... nice country stroll

'Like a camp John Inman'

Haha, men, hey!

I came back from a lovely relaxing holiday to find DP in a similar ill state, although man flu not actual sickness. I have absolutely no sympathy for him, and have really just wanted to slap him and tell him and tell him to get over it.

My DH goes upstairs when he's sick. And then TEXTS me. A lot. Wants some water, tea, extra blanket, a book, a slap

Arrrgh!

Why do men have to be so annoying when they are sick? Is it something on the Y chromosome do you think?

He IS annoying me. Whenever I ask him why he won't just go to bed, he just does this pathetic face at me, a bit like a guppy fish asking for a slap.

I don't know how you are resisting i would have slapped DP by now.

Oh god the woebegone eyes. Sympathies.

Have you tried telling him he is really getting on your nerves? he wouldn't want that would he.

I do keep giving him the Death Stare and he's so thick-skinned that it's having zero effect.

But where's the fun in being really, really ill if no one's there to witness how ill he is?

Plus he can boast afterwards that he soldiered on - got dressed n everything!

According to my home nursing guide this comes after the soup.

He has a tweed jacket - he is impervious to social mores like Death Stares! You should know this. Don a high cut swimsuit and parade twice round the room with a board reading Bog Off To Bed or I will be Forced to Hate you. He may notice that.

twostepsback

TwoSteps!

He's having total sense of humour failure, too. He's been spending a lot of time on the loo and DS (4) has taken to doing a running commentary on what he thinks is happening in there. "Daddy? Is your poo worried to come out of your bum?" "Daddy? It takes two weeks to cook a poo" "Daddy? If your bum's not hurting, your poo isn't ready." "Daddy? When it comes out, it'll probably be a bit slimy with a chunk at the end." DH isn't impressed.

I hope you have more than the one loo in your house!

Has he accused you of poisoning him? I usually get that if DH has a tummy bug.

Perhaps you could find some really horrible tasting medicine. It won't help his condition but might make you feel better.

We only have one loo.

:(

I have a really sore throat and cold ATM which I caught from DS2. I said to DH that I was feeling rough and he said he had had it so he didn't need telling. I was a bit as he hasn't had any symptoms at home that I have known about, and believe me the whole street would have known! He said he had had it last week at work! I nearly fell off the chair and said that colds don't just occur between the hours of 7.30am and 5pm. He was a bit huffy and said he didn't want to bring it home incase I caught it!

Honestly, my DSes and I are still chuckling about it!

has it occurred to you he doesn't want to go to bed? i only ask because you don't seem to understand that after 6 times he has said no to you.

Is he doing a 'poorly voice?' You know the one, a bit like Kelly Rowland did on x factor. Sort of croaky and long suffering.

I completely understand. I cannot bear people who are obviously ill downstairs. My dad and sister and BIL do this and I just want to scream at them. It's like they are scared they will miss something if they go to bed with their germs. And using the living room so that no-one else can. Grr. I am a lovely patient nurse if someone is IN BED, having hot drinks delivered to them. Otherwise I am the least sympathetic person ever.