Just go to bed and take your germs with you, you pathetic weasel!

[BupcakesandCunting]

DH is ill. Just a bit of the old diarrhoea, nowt life-threatening. He is insisting on being ill downstairs though and it's getting right on my wick. If someone said to me "honestly, just go to bed for the day. Put the television on and I'll bring you up a drink" I wouldn't need to be told twice, let alone six times. As it is, he's sitting on the sofa fully dressed in jeans, jumper, tweed jacket, shoes as if he's going to go out on a country stroll. I've just offered to make him a hot drink and he did some whiney noises about a Cup-a-Soup so I've done him his pissing soup and he is now holding his mug like a camp John Inman with his legs crossed. Oh God I want to punch him in the throat.

JUST GO TO BED. I know you're ill, I don't need you moping about to prove it.

DH annoys the crap out of me while he's ill downstairs. In fairness, he also annoys the crap out of me while he's ill upstairs. I grew up in a house where our upper lips were so stiff we'd regularly run out of starch - he grew up in a house where people run around panicking and wailing if they think they might be getting a headache.

"has it occurred to you he doesn't want to go to bed? i only ask because you don't seem to understand that after 6 times he has said no to you."

Yes it has occured to me, but I really don't give a fuck. I don't want him down here breathing his germoloid breath all over me and DS, if that's quite alright with your bad self?

Am definitely going to make him dead in a minute. He eventually sloped off to bed at 4.30 and he is back down now. He's just made some tomato soup (he will die of soup) for himself. I offered to it for him but Martyr Mr Cunting insists that he will do it. So he does it. Then tries to wash up the pan (ignoring the few dirty crocks next to the sink) by running it under the hot water tap, and wiping the scourer around it. THEN he wipes the water from the work surface with the tomato-ey scourer thus smearing work surface with soupy water. I snap and tell him to Get Out Please. He has now taken twenty minutes to take pathetic little spoonfuls of his soup.

Oh I do sympathise. My dh has been annoying me all afternoon and he isn't even ill.

I have informed him I'm highly a little pre menstrual, but he hasn't got the hint and keeps trying to annoy converse with me.

I've just told him that women with pms often get off when they accidentally murder their husbands.
That seems to have done the trick.

Give that a try Bups.

Sympathies OP. My DH will sit at the table moping and groaning when he is too ill to eat and should be in bed, but no, he wants to spend the time with his dear family putting us all off our food.