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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DS to smell of smoke?

55 replies

scrivette · 18/02/2012 20:28

DH has just stomped downstairs annoyed as I don't want him to put the baby to bed as he smells of smoke.

When he holds DS for a long time the smell transfers onto him and I dont want him smoky all night!

He smokes outside so doesn't think that his clothes smell.

OP posts:
LaBoccaDellaVerita · 18/02/2012 20:28

Oh do get a grip ffs.

cutegorilla · 18/02/2012 20:29

YANBremotelyU

rhondajean · 18/02/2012 20:29

YANBU but if you smoke yourself you don't smell it so he probably thinks you are.

When I met DH he live with dMIL and her partner who both smoked heavily. It was only after we got our own non smoking house and he went back to visit, he was horrified at how his clothes smelt after ten minutes in there and the thought of how he must have smelt for years.

TidyDancer · 18/02/2012 20:31

Er, YANBU! If the smell is on his clothes, the toxins will be too.

You should not be told to get a grip, please don't pay attention to that.

And I say this as an occasional smoker.

GrahamTribe · 18/02/2012 20:31

If I were your DH I'd take the opportunity to let you put your DS to bed while I put my feet up with a beer.

Eglu · 18/02/2012 20:33

YANBU

Annpan88 · 18/02/2012 20:34

YANBU. Lovely babies should not smell of smoke, fact. I'm not anti smoking but not near babies.

Midnightmoon · 18/02/2012 20:35

YANBU
Hate the smell of it and how it lingers. But as has been said he probably can't smell it so I can see why he woulod say otherwise.

TheProvincialLady · 18/02/2012 20:36

It's not the smelling of smoke all night that is the problem so much as the SIDS risk. I would not allow it either.

NatashaBee · 18/02/2012 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clownsarescary · 18/02/2012 20:37

Babies being near smoke and the chemicals it leaves heightens the risk of sids.

YANBU.

Original poster
scrivette · 18/02/2012 20:38

Graham, that's what he is doing now!

I am glad that most agree IANBU, I won't feel guilty (as its rare that DH offers to help but that's a whole other moan!) Grin

OP posts:
SecretMinceRinser · 18/02/2012 20:43

YANBU. I would expect him to wash his hands and change his clothes before holding the baby whenever practical - ie just in from work in smokey clothes. Also if he had just been out for a smoke I would have expected him to have taken the baby to bed first then had his cigarette.

GrahamTribe · 18/02/2012 20:46

He's a wise man. Wink

TheProvincialLady · 18/02/2012 21:23

Yes he doesn't involve himself in the care of his own child and then on the one occasion he does want to, he stinks of fags. What a guy.

aquashiv · 18/02/2012 21:26

YANBU
Tell the stupid selfish arse to do some research on the links to SIDS.
LaBoccaDellaVerita Why would you tell the Op to get a grip FFS ?

squeakytoy · 18/02/2012 21:27

there is absolutely no proof whatsoever that smoke on clothes has any ill health effects to anyone... none at all...

oh there is plenty of "possibly" in any report you read, but no actual fact..

perfume and aftershave are likely to carry as many nasty chemicals as the last wafts of a king size B & H..

My dad used to come home from a day at work, still smelling of turps, paint and (shock horror) tobacco...

I have never had any breathing problems, chest problems, allergies, or illnesses...

ILoveSanta · 18/02/2012 21:27

YANBU at all! It is your job to be the advocate of your child and look out for his/her best interests..... In my book that means not exposing them to harmful smoke!

HavePatience · 18/02/2012 21:29

YANBU
Lucky you, squeakytoy :) I'm still not willing to take the risk, though. T each their own.

HavePatience · 18/02/2012 21:30

To

troisgarcons · 18/02/2012 21:30

Im surprised we arent all fitted with breathing masks and oxygen cylinders for going out of the house ....nasty traffic fumes, which are far more dmamaging.

MsMarple · 18/02/2012 21:30

YANBU at all!

From a health point of view with the smoking, but also I understand what you are saying about the smell too. I used to get unreasonably upset about friends doused in perfume hugging their hideous smells all over my baby!

LaBoccaDellaVerita · 18/02/2012 21:31

The DH, in case it's escaped your notice, is NOT standing over the baby breathing smoke from non-filter Russian cigarettes. As squeaky rightly says - there is NOT any evidence that the residue of a bit of smoke on someone else's clothing will harm the baby, cause SIDS, give it asthma or stunt it's growth. But if you are going to be this precious I do hope you'll be masking the baby up before you take it outside where there might be car and bus fumes.

Clownsarescary · 18/02/2012 21:31

Squeaky, yes people get lung cancer that have never smoked, people don't get lung cancer that smoked all of their long lives and so on. We would wonder how any of us are alive with all the warnings and fears that are instilled really. :)

But still, if its worrying the OP then her dh should appreciate the potential (ok so not proved) risks.