to think this is a little bit inappropriate?

[DefiniteMaybe]

My dad met his girlfriend about a year ago. They moved in together really, really quickly, within about a month. She has a dd who is 10.
My dad asked to have ds over last night so off he's gone. His girlfriend text me a picture of my ds (he's 3) and her dd in the bath together and then a text to tell me he was fast asleep with her dd in her dds bed.
I think I mostly don't understand why they're pushing my ds and her dd together so much, she's not related to him and probably won't be around for too much longer as my dad is fairly fickle. But it just doesn't seem right. At 10 I wouldn't have wanted to share a bath or my bed with a little kid.
So AIBU to think that if my ds stays over there he should be bathed and sleep alone?

How does ds feel about it? Has he said anything?

I wouldn't want DS to be bathed anywhere else but by us at home, let alone with a stranger.

Personally I think if it doesn't feel right then it isn't right. Those feelings are there for a reason. I think this sounds like what your dad wants to happen, to please the girlfriend and play happy families, rather than thinking of what is best for either of the children involved in the set up. Too much too soon.

ds just loves his grandad to pieces and wants to be with him. I don't mind my dad bathing him.

Texting pictures of a 10 year old (naked I assume) in the bath to someone??

That's weird before you even consider your DS. My son is 8 and would NEVER allow me to take a picture of him in the bath/naked.

It's all very odd. I personally wouldn't send him there again.

Actually, yeah I never considered the age thing. I can't think of many 10 yr old boys who would be happy to share a bath with a 3 yr old girl who wasn't his sis. The taking/sending photos is inappropriate imo and I would ask her to stop it.

There are quite a few issues going on, not least is your assumption that your dad will be moving on soon, yet he has allowed her to move in with her child.

Your DS shouldn't be getting baths with someone that he doesn't know well and more importantly, this 10 year old shouldn't.

You need to have a talk with your dad and ask him his intentions before he hurts a lot of people.

tbh I think its hard to judge. If the DD has been brought up to be laid back about nudity she might be fine to share a bath and have a photo taken. I am assuming there is no sign of puberty yet e.g. budding breasts? I have met some girls who are relaxed with nudity until a relatively late age such as 10. I don't think this is wrong, just a different and more unusual approach.

So depends on the family dynamic and how the dd feels about it e.g. is she being encouraged to do this, when not really happy with it for example?

But if you're not happy with it for your ds then don't let him go alone there.

I am guessing the girlfriend thought it was sweet and would be shocked at your worry. However, he is your son and to you it doesn't feel right. It may be hard to deal with without upsetting your Dad if you don't want it to happen again.

it's a little odd, tbh. Perhaps your Dad's gf is trying to cement her position by showing you how well your DS and her DD get on - or perhaps she really thinks they might be related soon so a good idea for them to get on. Mind you, if she does think that then she might want to consider the point that her DD would be step-aunt to your DS and that's just mildly uncomfortable re. the bath situation.

I wouldn't have wanted to be in the bath with a 3yo boy at that age - no way.

Warn your DF's girlfriend not to post any photos on Facebook or Twitter. Threaten with legal action if she does and put it in writing

Oh I hadn't even thought of facebook.
I hope she was texting privately only to you op
Lets hope she just thought you would think it sweet and innocent and wanted to share that thought just to you.

I'd just have a word and say maybe the dd is a bit old to be sharing a bath with your ds. I think some of the reactions on here are a bit extreme though, they're only kids sharing a bath and I'm guessing the dd wasn't to bothered about it. Just tell your dad you'd rather ds was bathed alone.

The ds concerned is 3. Not 13- 3! Why on earth is it a problem for him to share a bath?

I am sure the photos were not showing much [bath side in way]. As I have said before, I imagine your Dad and his girlfriend would be shocked at your concern.

I shared a bath with my 2 year old brother an 10, I dont see the problem with that TBH, but I wouldnt have wanted anyone taking pictures.

So someone sends you a charming photograph. You respond "I don't want my ds bathing with your dd". Exactly what are you saying?

yabu- nothing wrong with dc sharing a bath. My dd and dsd share a bath- 6 year age gap. They share a bath with their friends- boys and girls- when they stay too. I take photo's of cute moments. It is odd to look for something sinister in something so innocent

I think you're over reacting.

The only (very big) problem I'd have with this, is my ds being introduced and getting attached to people who are unlikely to be in his life for long.

i can not see a problem having a bath or sleeping in the same bed i think its nice that children do

i am sure your ds is having a great time and maybe she is trying to show you how well they are bonding, trying a little too hard maybe, but that us hardly a crime

proudnscary I concur.

I'm glad people think I'm over reacting. I don't like him being introduced to and getting to know people who might not be around for long either but the alternative is never seeing his grandad which would be a shame because ds really loves him.