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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

if u cant beheive ur children dont take them to the clothes shop?

79 replies

firstsupermum · 18/02/2012 01:21

i went out today tp pumpkinpatch in westfeild w12 london, a couple had one a child may be 2.5yrs, he was just acting as a child, playing but not throwing the clothes or anything like that, he wasnt even shouting, but he was going around the shop, yes he sit in one of the tables that mean to be just for the clothes display, the staff ask his mum to move him whish she did, than they start to look at the father bad and one of the staff she mention that the boy is rude, the father ask to speak to the manager, and in my shock the manager told him, if you cant behieve ur child dont take him to the shop, he ask for her name, she refuse and ask him to leave the shop or she will call the securite and she told him that he is ban from caming to the shop again.
i was talking to the man than she came to me is well telling me that i am ban from the shop is well because i was talking to them, when i went to talk to her she ask me to wait for her outside at 10pm when she finish and she will deal with me, realy rude, the worse manager i have ever seen in my life,

OP posts:
FlyingLugholes · 18/02/2012 02:03

So are you going to write a letter of complaint then?

NoMoreMarbles · 18/02/2012 02:06

Whoops X posted a bit thereBlush

Having reread the OP I'm still not clear on what appears to be the AIBU subject

The rude staff? The manager asked you outside for a fight? And all because you spoke to a member of the public? It all sounds a little... Exaggerated or...something TBH

OP can you elaborate on what happened for the sake of clarity?

LineRunner · 18/02/2012 02:23

That is one rough as fuck shopping centre.

Worra, you made me do a poorly raspy laugh Grin

MrsDistinctlyMintyMonetarism · 18/02/2012 02:51

Not sure what the problem is in the OP, but if anyone wants Pumpkin Patch clothes I can get them from here (Australia) and post them to you.

PeppyNephrine · 18/02/2012 04:14

its not actually that understandable, I only really got half of it before later explanations. I am a bit thick though.

Thumbwitch · 18/02/2012 05:16

It's understandable enough - a couple had a 2.6 yo child in Pumpkin patch, doing what 2.6yo children do, but not actively destroying any displays or anything; the staff asked the mum to move the child and then started to give evil looks to the dad, who asked to see the manager; the manager sounds like an officious sort who told them if their child couldn't be made to behave properly they should leave and not take him into shops. They were shocked (rightfully so!) and so was the OP, who went to speak to them - earning herself a ban from the shop and an invitation to meet up with the manager at 10pm when the shopping centre closed, presumably NOT for drinks!
What's hard?

What I don't understand is where the AIBU is - AIBU to be shocked by this? AIBU to complain about this? AIBU to think it's possibly the most ridiculous attitude of staff (IF this is all there is to the story - there might have been much arm waving and shouting going on, in which case the manager is entitled to ask the people to leave if she felt threatened).

No need to be so rude to the OP about her English prowess.

Rinkan · 18/02/2012 05:17

I think that what the OP is trying to say is this:

I was in a kids' clothing shop the other day. A two and a half year old kid was playing up and sat on one of the display tables. The manger asked the parents to stop him from doing that, the father got a bit arsey about it and the manager ended if telling the couple that they should not take their kids out shopping if they could not make sure that they would behave. She then told the couple they were no longer welcome in the store. the OP had a bit of a chat with the father and so the manager, (who was probably in a bit of a bad mood) told the OP that she was banned too, as a a result of her association with the troublemakers.

OP tried to complain and the manager appears to have said that she would not deal with the complaint there and then, and told the OP that she'd have to wait for her to finish work at 10pm. Would not give any complaint form.

Here's the thing OP- you may not like it, but shops are not public services. You don't have a human right to shop in them and they are perfectly entitled to refuse entry to whomsoever they choose, as long as the refusal is not discriminatory on the grounds of race, age, gender, disability or sexual orientation. Yes they may lose customers if they are known for being picky but that's a commercial decision for them. Please note that asking you to leave the shop is entirely different from refusing to accept a complaint about a product you have bought- after you buy something thy have a legal (contractual and statutory) obligation towards you. But before you buy you are just a guest on their premises and they can chuck you out whenever they want, particularly if you, like the couple, are annoying the other customers.

CumpyGrunt · 18/02/2012 05:45

has it not kicked off yet?

balls Confused

will be back in the morning when I have my wits gathered about me.

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 18/02/2012 05:50

Grin @ CumpyGrunt (I do love your name)

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 18/02/2012 09:21

I also think there must be more that the OP isn't telling us, I highly doubt the manager would have asked her to leave just for speaking to another customer, there must have been some kind of verbal abuse from the parents of the 2 year old and the manager maybe assumed that the OP knew them and so asked her to leave too.

RuleBritannia · 18/02/2012 09:35

I don't know why posters are querying the meaning of the OP's message. She and her husband took a 2 year old to Pumpkin Patch, allowed it to run around and sit on things and touch things. Staff asked the parents to control the child and eventually asked them to leave the shop. I took 'beheive' to mean 'behave' but an intransitive verb was used where there should have been a transitive verb.

The staff might have been rude but were within the shop's rights to ask the prospective customers to leave. That could have been done in a different way. If I had been that customer, my children would not have behaved like that I would write to the Head Office not the shop I visited.

JustHecate · 18/02/2012 09:38

if the manager asked you to meet her at 10pm because she wanted to fight you because you were talking to someone who she had ordered out of the store (and there is nothing more to the story that you have omitted!) - you should have gone to the police. not the 999 number, obviously. But reported it. I suppose you still could. Better to have it logged.

And contact the head office and tell them what happened and that you have reported it to the police.

2BoysTooLoud · 18/02/2012 09:50

Does sound like overtired/ had enough staff member. Does sound like member of staff just lost it.
I understood the op fine I think. It is worthy of a complaint if you feel strongly op. If in writing have you got anyone to check your letter in a supportive way?
If not try and talk to the centre manager? Sometimes face to face is easier if English not your first language [My French friend tells me this].

Proudnscary · 18/02/2012 09:55

From 'mock the foreigner' to 'patronise the foreighner' then?

Proudnscary · 18/02/2012 09:55

Or foreigner even

2BoysTooLoud · 18/02/2012 09:56

Whatever- proudnscary....

JustHecate · 18/02/2012 09:58

Who is that comment aimed at?

LilacWaltz · 18/02/2012 09:59

Op... Sorry to hear this! (ignore the nastiness) your post wasn't even difficult to understand if anyone took the time to read.

youareallwrong · 18/02/2012 10:00

I kinda get the impression theres more to the story and that man or op may have been acting aggressively/abusive to members of staff because they were kicked out. It looks like the OP got involved with a situation which was none of her business and to me it looks like she was probably stirring the situation by saying that the couple were being treated unfairly. The fact security were called sets alarm bells ringing.

2.5 year olds shouldn't be running around stores in the way she said, for their safety & because the store has a certain level of responsibility for anyone on their premises. OP was bang out of order for getting involved in the situation, and in doing so was inflaming the situation. Therefore the store was well within its rights to boot her too.

The thing about asking to meet after ten, isn't professional and isn't acceptable. But then no one is going to come out with something like that in a situation like that unless there is considerable aggression being directed at them first imho.

cornflowers · 18/02/2012 10:00
JustHecate · 18/02/2012 10:04

cornflower, if ever I wished for a 'like' button on mumsnet it is now.

gigglepin · 18/02/2012 10:08

what?

I am confused.com on many levels with this..
????

LilacWaltz · 18/02/2012 10:09

cornflowers good point!!!

Proudnscary · 18/02/2012 10:11

Hectate - was being glib, sorry.

What I meant was, OP is non-English, not inadequate, and I felt posters, who were trying to be helpful, were talking to her like she was a child. Also the initial post is rambling, a bit bonkers and confusing - quality of English aside (meeting outside at 10pm etc Confused).

Honeydragon · 18/02/2012 10:20

My now closed what does that tell you Pumpkin Patch had a stupid display like this in.

DD and I went in with friends - both our children made a direct route to to the child size chairs to sit in them. I removed and said sorry to the staff, who in turn did the Hmm face and sad not your fault it happens all the time we're sick of such a stupid display.

So yes children should behave but I would say having something like a chair on display in the middle of a store that doesn't sell chairs is stupid

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