Aibu to not want to call my daughter ziva just because my mum wants me too?

[chillaxdekax]

My mum is insisting I call my baby girl due next month Ziva or Stephanie Anne. They are my mums sisters names and she feels I should call my daughter one of them ,but I hate both of the names. They remind me too much of my nasty aunts. Would you inflict names you associate with people you don't like on your baby to please your mother?AIBU?

Ziva is very nice tho'! How on earth has one sister got such an exotic name and the other one such a meh name!?

YANBU at all, it's your choice, not your mother's. Fine for her to make suggestions, but you're free to veto them if you want.

Personally I think both names are quite nice, but if you dislike them or they have negative connotations, you don't have to use them. Don't let your mum push you around, you're an adult now!

Ooh, Ziva. I like that.

If your Mum had wanted to use those names she could have used them for you. It's your turn to choose, and I presume your DH expects more of a say than your Mum? What if he wanted his Aunties names too?

One baby, too many names, someone is going to be disappointed. Wouldn't the Aunt whose name didn't get chosen be offended anyway?

Lol. When I read the thread title I was convinced she was a big NCIS fan. YADNBU. It's your child, I'm pretty sure you and your partner get to make this decision and other people should keep their big fat noses out opinions to themselves.

no. forget what other people want. they have had their time naming babies. what do you want to call DD? it's yours and DH's choice 100%. tell her outright you will surprise everyone with your babys name after the birth and you don't want to discuss the name before hand with anyone including her. tell her you dislike aunties names and give no reason but don't let her discuss the matter..

There's another way round it. What about Avis? It's sort of Ziva backwards.

But, as I said before, it's up to you and your husband what you call your baby.

Oh Ziva is a beautiful name. But you have the right to choose your own child's name.

Ziva, written "zyva", is French for "sod off" (roughly - it has a rather more chavvy feel to it than "sod off").

Or for "chav" (it's used to mean "the kind of person who would say "zyva" ").

I probably would find it a pretty name if it didn't have either of those connotations for me...

Your mum had her chance to name her babies; you now have yours.

M0na, our boy's name was Benjamin and I really wanted James as a middle name, but it was instantly vetoed by DH due to BJ initials...

YANBU. Just say No. Can't believe you even need to ask us TBH.

I like the post by lebof about calling the dog Ziva

Can you use the Ann part as a second name?

OP, tell her you haven't decided what you're going to call your baby and you don't want to discuss it. Then refuse to talk about it.

If you call and say you're not naming the baby what she wants, she'll get in a strop and argue about it with you - and you will be giving her the impression that she has the right to be involved in your naming decision. She'll think you're just having an argument about what the name is, and that her opinions ought to affect your decision.

After the baby is born, you can say "right, she is called Ermentrude Jane" and your mum will say "but I want Ziva Anne" and you can say "too late, ooh look Ermentrude is smiling at you!".

I love Ziva (but I am an NCIS fan).
Unless there are cultural reasons why your mother would expect to have a say in naming your child then it is up to you and your OH.

What is it with these interfering parents? Shortly after dgd was born I asked ds2 whether they'd decided on a name. They had. He told me. That's all I needed to know!

Op how does this conversation even happen? Are you a doormat with her? Why on earth does she think she has a right to have a say in what you call your child. Absoloutely stand up to her - she is totally disreseptful to you. Keep your distance if she can't show you respect.

Ziva sounds like a trendy building society or a word you try on when stuck at scrabble.
Your mum had her turn to choose baby names, this is your turn. Just say "mm nice name mum but we'll decide for ourseves and refuse to discuss it further".

My DGM went ballistic when she discovered i hadn't named DD1 Caroline. When we had DD2 she insisted this one had to be Caroline. Thankfully she said all this to DM, who told her where to go! (politely of course :o )

Although i quite like Ziva, as a matter of principle now i wouldn't do it! She had her chance, and you should simply refuse to discuss the matter further.

The Hebrew meaning of the name if brilliance/brightness. Much nicer than the French meaning.

Suggesting names is ok but insisting is not, tell her it's not her child so she doesn't get naming rights.

It doesn't matter even if you love the names. On a point of principle you should avoid them.

Ziva sounds like a dodgy daytime advert for a car insurance company.

No no no no no! I am stuck with my aunts' names and I HATE BOTH OF THEM! (the names, not my aunts, who are lovely) Why on earth do people force their kids to carry on the family tradition of crap naming? Put your foot down and say NO. Better yet, give me her address and I'll go round there and slap her upside the head with a wet copy of my birth certificate.

My mum tried to do the same - glad I stuck to my guns.

It's very important that you choose the name. Only you will know what suits your baby.

I'd try not to even discuss names with her.

Don't do it!! And if your mother whines, tell her you dont like her sisters! Or tell her that your baby's mother/sister/whatever is insisting you call the baby something else, so in order not to offend anyone, you will be picking your baby's name yourself, thank you very much!