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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put the children in economy while DH and I fly business class?

860 replies

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 11:50

Testing name change.

OP posts:
TobyLeWolef · 17/02/2012 12:57

I find it hard to believe that people are suggesting that the problem might lie with the children needing help. IMO the problem lies with the children feeling that they're not worth paying the premium for.

Had my mum suggested this when we were children, we would have laughed in her face. And if my DP suggested this for our holiday, I would also laugh in his face and then take the children on holiday without him.
Luckily, I seem only to know/be related to people who would never even consider this as an option.

Original poster
OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 12:58

Ivan. It's about the leg room, not getting away from the kids. We've all travelled together in the past.

OP posts:
ComposHat · 17/02/2012 12:58

I get the feeling that the op fancies the time in business class every bit as her selfish husband but is letting him cop all the flak.

Camblewick · 17/02/2012 12:58

Well if you were Shock when he suggested it, why will he not 'entertain' the idea of you all going premuim economy? Will he not compromise at all?

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 17/02/2012 12:58

Stealth Boast Alert

"Oh dearie me which class of the plane should one travel in and which class should one's children travel in?" Oh to live in a little middle class bubble and only have stuff like that to ponder on! Hmm

Flatbread · 17/02/2012 12:58

I don't think I would have minded being in economy, while parents were in business class. I would have minded if one of my siblings was in business, but I didn't compare myself with my parents, only siblings and friends Grin

Your children will be fine. You and dh can get some together time on the flights, and the whole family will do things together on the holiday, presumably, so plenty of time with mum and dad for the kids Smile

stinkingbishop · 17/02/2012 13:00

So...multiple threads on MN which suggest it's perfectly OK to leave kids alone whilst going to the shops, suggesting we mollycoddle them, kids are much more independent than we think, never did me any harm blah blah.

Might I humbly suggest the furore here is because OP has mentioned Business Class and dontchaknow we never had a holiday till I was 43 and even then we got the bus to Margate...

Because the truth is a) 10 and 13 year olds are perfectly competent b) being in an enclosed plane cabin is a lot safer environment than home alone with matches and burglars and the drinks cabinet c) am sure the OP will be popping back frequently.

Tbh I think the treat of being alone and treated as adults will matter more to them than access to free bubbly in business. And two business tickets mean you can all go in the lounge either end, which will be great.

As for 'family time' - has anyone ever actually enjoyed family time with a 13 year old on a plane? Or any child, come to that? Am sure if they're anything like mine they will pop on the headphones and start playing with the entertainment system before take off (which is great!) The quality time is on the holiday itself.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 17/02/2012 13:00

Strange to accord parents 'higher status' than children.

I like to think that my relationship with my dd is because I haven't raised her knowing that there is some pecking order within the family.

She isn't spoilt either. But she is very secure in knowing that she is equally as impiortant as everyone else in the family.

TheCatInTheHairnet · 17/02/2012 13:01

Whilst in theory, I don't think it's a terrible plan, I couldn't do it in practice. I would just worry that if, God Forbid, the plane went down, I couldn't get to the kids.

But then I'm a TERRIBLE flyer, and it would probably do them good NOT to sit with me! Grin

Original poster
OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 13:01

Hexagonal. That is another reason I changed name. As well as suspecting a flaming, I thought I would also get a stealth boast accusation. Yes, it's not a big issue compared with some of the shit a lot of people are going through during the recession.

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 17/02/2012 13:01

Does your DH agree about the overnight thing?

I think it would be kind of rude to travel separately on the way there -- that is sending a message that your personal comfort is more important than the DC's, and you risk arriving with the two of you fresh and energetic and the two of them cranky and just wanting to crash. Also, I really do think it's a bit inconsiderate of other passengers.

On the way back, if you explain to DC that DH needs to sleep because he's going back to work, that's a little more understandable, I guess.

But I would just try to avoid the whole issue by planning a trip somewhere closer. I'm sure we could offer a load of suggestions Smile

squeakytoy · 17/02/2012 13:02

I don't think I would have minded being in economy, while parents were in business class. I would have minded if one of my siblings was in business, but I didn't compare myself with my parents, only siblings and friends

Exactly Flatbread! .. as children we should not feel that we are on an equal status as adults, because we arent.

Camblewick · 17/02/2012 13:02

No stinking I haven't particularly enjoyed a long haul flight with a child. I think I would find sitting next to someone else's child while the parents were lounging up in business class even less enjoyable.

Original poster
OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 13:03

stinkingbishop that was the thinking behind it.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/02/2012 13:03

LAlady - in your case I don't think it would be unreasonable because a) there is a genuine reason why your DH might be better in business and b) because you will sit with your children.

OP (unless your DH is a 6'7" rugby player or has a medical need) there is no real reason for him to sit in Business class other than preference.

I don't feel it is fair to lump the decision on to the children either. It looks like your DH is putting his needs ahead of the family as a whole. What is best for the family as a whole not just one slightlyprecious member.

Whatmeworry · 17/02/2012 13:03

But I didn't expect for it to be suggested that my relationship with DH was dodgy

Butbutbut....this is MN!

Anyway, you know the likely outcome don't you - kids will start scrapping so one will sit with DH and pester him and you will go into cattle truck class with the other :o

ComposHat · 17/02/2012 13:03

Oh dearie me which class of the plane should one travel in and which class should one's children travel in?

My sentiments exactly, I like many others will be holidaying in the same place as I've spent the last four years: Costa del Composflat. Plenty of leg room and the settee is quite comfy.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 17/02/2012 13:04

The main problem I would have with this is the message I am giving to my kid............what am telling him - I am more important than him, therefore I deserve a more luxurious journey?? Everything else aside, that is the main reason I think YABU!

swallowedAfly · 17/02/2012 13:05

i think it's laughable that anyone could even think it's ok to dump their children in a public space unsupervised for what, 10hrs?? and all so you can sit on your own in the nice seats.

serious sense of entitlement going on and i am so glad parents don't routinely think that this is ok. your children's school would be breaking the law if they took kids on holiday and left them in another area of the plane without supervision. shouldn't parents have at least the same duty of care as teachers?

grovel · 17/02/2012 13:05

I can't see the problem.

HoneyandHaycorns · 17/02/2012 13:06

Thing is, I have travelled business class and it does make a huge difference to my experience of the flight. I hate doing long haul in economy.

However, dd is much smaller than I am, can sleep anywhere and I doubt she'd really appreciate the difference in business class. So I genuinely don't think she'd feel too hard done by - and i think some kids would welcome the independence.

Personally, I would still prefer to travel altogether, but I can understand why some people might think differently.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/02/2012 13:07

StinkingBishop like Camblewick a long haul flight with someone else's child whose parents found it a bit too much trouble to supervise them would be even more annoying than a long haul flight with my own children. And yes, we can afford business class so no jealousy here.

thebody · 17/02/2012 13:07

Think ur dh a bit of a knob tbh, mine also works long hours, do do I, and he travels lots. He wouldn't dream of not sitting with his kids, what of there was an emergency, hijack! Yes I no I am dramatic but u must be very selfish. Other of u to contemplate it.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 17/02/2012 13:08

Agree with harry - business class is a lot nicer than economy. And the OP doesn't want to fork out for business class for the lot of them (don't blame her), so the compromise is premium economy. Premium economy is a lot better than standard class. It seems likea perfect compromise to me, I don't know why her husband doesn't go for it tbh.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 17/02/2012 13:09

Who the hell is Harry? Honey I meant Grin