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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to put the children in economy while DH and I fly business class?

860 replies

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 11:50

Testing name change.

OP posts:
RealLifeIsForWimps · 17/02/2012 12:41

Bt what for Soup Dragon? I genuinely don't understand. Maybe I'm unrealistic about the independence of children these days but I know at 10 I could have managed a LH flight perfectly well without any adult intervention especially with a 13 year old accompanying me.

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 12:42

The 13 year old is very mature btw.

OP posts:
TobyLeWolef · 17/02/2012 12:42

YABU and your husband sounds like a wanker.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 17/02/2012 12:43

So they're asleep? They miss a meal. Either they go hungry for a few hours or they buzz the stewardess and ask for a snack and presumably OP would not be leaving the children together and unaccompanied if she thought they would fight.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 17/02/2012 12:43

Well, I have read some shocking things on MN before but in all the years I've been on here, this one really does take the biscuit. I am absolutely astonished that you'd even ask to be honest. It would be absoloutely shite parenting imho and your 'd' h sounds like an idiot. If the poor bunny really does need to be in business class in order to rest, then let the selfish bastard sit on his own there and you do some parenting of your children in Premium Economy. Jeez.

LadyBeagleEyes · 17/02/2012 12:44

I agree with everyone that says your DH is a knob.
So the poor little diddums has to go home and work hard?
Tough, there are many fathers who work hard, but still prioritise their families.

marvinthemartian · 17/02/2012 12:45

yes, there has been no answer as to why the OP also needs to go business, leaving the children on their own.

OP: presumably you just wanted your plan validating? there have been a few suggestions here which solve the problem of your dh getting some rest, adn none of them seem palatable to you. why is that?

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 12:47

No marvin. I had thought about going with the children if DH won't compromise. This is a genuine AIBU, rather than wanting my plan validating.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/02/2012 12:48

OP is as selfish as her husband ? Surely not !!! Hmm

Camblewick · 17/02/2012 12:48

It's a horrible idea. I'm sure your children would be perfectly well behaved at their age but they are still your responsibility. Your DH sounds a delight.

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 12:49

OK. I think I've got the MN consensus.

Most people think AIBU.
A few don't.
Quite a lot think DH is a knob.

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 17/02/2012 12:49

Children can manage unaccompanied flights perfectly well. I did as did most of my friends at boarding school because we all had family homes outside the UK.

However, up to a certain age, and this would have included being 10, we travelled as unaccompanied minors which is a completely different status to that proposed where the parents sit upfront in a different cabin.

I've no doubt that a 10 and 13 year old could cope with travelling alone on a flight to the US. It's whether they ought to be doing so on the basis that one of their parents refuses to tolerate travelling in economy.

Of course, if the children in question think this is a brilliant idea that might be different. But if I discovered I'd innocently acquired the routine looking after of someone else's children because their parents declined to sit with them I'd be a bit po-faced. Because it isn't just the possibility of emergencies is it? It's the general "my video screen isn't working", "we've not got enough pillows", "when are the nuts coming round?" sort of stuff that is just as distracting when it comes from other people's children!

CreamolaFoamless · 17/02/2012 12:49

can you not just leave him at home and all three of you fly first class Grin

Camblewick · 17/02/2012 12:50

Why won't your DH compromise? Is it a case of 'his say goes' or can you discuss it as a partnership?

winterland · 17/02/2012 12:50

I don't think it's that bad at all. Just get two at the back of business and two at the front of prem economy. Then swap seats as needed. I shouldn't imagine thchildren will need that much help. They sound like seasoned fliers so unlikely to require help with buttons or belts. If it were me, I sit with one child and dh with the other. Then take turns.

dreamingbohemian · 17/02/2012 12:52

I don't know why you would offer the choice of 'short-haul and possibly less exciting' Hmm

There are a gazillion exciting things to do within a 5-6 hour flight!

You really only need the 'rest' of business class if you're flying overnight. Of course you can find something really cool to do that doesn't require that.

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 12:52

"Is it a case of 'his say goes' or can you discuss it as a partnership?"

Of course we are discussing it as a partnership. We had a conversation last night, and I was a bit Shock when he suggested it. Hence putting it to the MN jury.

I like your idea winterland.

OP posts:
HoneyandHaycorns · 17/02/2012 12:53

I think you have been given quite a hard time here, OP. As I said earlier, I wouldn't be comfortable with this plan myself, but I don't think it's so awful to consider it.

VickyandAlistair · 17/02/2012 12:53

YABU

What if there is turbulence?! I was hit by severe turbulence on a plane back from New York in 2010, I found it completely terrifying and I'm a 29 year old woman, if I was a 10 year old apart from my parents it would have been 100 times worse!

Please sit with your children on the plane!

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 12:53

I agree about the overnight thing dreaming.

OP posts:
happygilmore · 17/02/2012 12:54

What do you do for a living OP? I bet you work hard too, why don't you go business and he goes economy with the kids, I'm guessing he doesn't spend a lot of time with them normally, this is his opportunity to catch up with them..

LAlady · 17/02/2012 12:55

We are flying long haul in August. Economy. Have suggested DH flies business whilst we fly economy. He has been recovering from a stroke since September (now thankfully much better). He wouldn't consider it. But he isn't selfish.

OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis · 17/02/2012 12:56

"I think you have been given quite a hard time here, OP."

Lol. I was sort of expecting it.
But I didn't expect for it to be suggested that my relationship with DH was dodgy.

OP posts:
marmiteandjam · 17/02/2012 12:56

I wouldn't do it as I have only 1 child but assuming I had 2, I wouldn't do it because I think I would probably be worrying about them anyway and would probably feel I had to check on them at least every 30-45 mins so wouldn't feel relaxed. Plus what if they were really naughty? The stewardess may say you have to sit with them anyway so then you've wasted your money.

IvanaHumpalot · 17/02/2012 12:56

How much time does your DH spend with the DCs doing kids stuff? I can understand the leg room/comfy seat argument but is it really about that? Is he feeling "entitled" to some him time on the flight, then some him time on holiday... We all work hard, be it at work or in the home. If what he really wants is some kid free time then you both go for some weekends away.

Of course if it is just the seat and he'll spend quality time with you and DCs on the holiday doing family stuff then I'll just shut up and mind my own...