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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be slightly annoyed at being called a liar?

49 replies

Kayzr · 16/02/2012 17:10

I went out for coffee this morning with a friend (Shall call her A) who has a 7 week old DD. There was my friend, another of her friends (Shall call her B), a mutual friend (Shall call her C) and myself there this morning.

Only my friend with the 7wo and myself have DCs. The other 2 are in steady long term relationships. No children and from what they said today no plans for a while.

Anyway.

A said that her DD slept all night last night. We all said how that it was nice they got some rest and sleep. A said she was in a bit of a panic this morning when she realised, but was hoping this might be that start of more sleep.

I said that I had been like that with DS1 when he first slept through the night. C asked how old he was when he started to sleep through. I told them he was about 6.5 weeks when he started to sleep from 7-7 about 5/6 times a week.

A said that there was hope for her DD starting to sleep through then. But B said that I was obviously lying. I asked why I was lying and she said that people who say that their DCs sleep through at a young age are lying. She said she didn't have an actual reason for this but that they are lying.

I have seen it on MN too. People say that you are lying if you say that your baby is sleeping through.

Why? Is it to make new mums feel better about themselves if their baby doesn't sleep?

I have been at both ends of the sleep thing. DS1 was 6.5 weeks and DS2 was 11 months old before he slept all night and about 15 months before it was a regular occurence?

OP posts:

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 16/02/2012 17:13

Ignore her she hasn't a clue what she's talking about and said as much herself. She can take proper part in the conversation when she actual experience of a baby.

MBOTy · 16/02/2012 17:13

My 2 dc slept through from one week old.
So I believe you and YANBU :)

BBisBBack · 16/02/2012 17:15

YANBU people like that annoy me! Especially if they dont even have dcs!how rude!

Lambzig · 16/02/2012 17:18

YANBU. My DD slept 7-7 from about 8 weeks and i was accused of lying so many times.

Its just not everyone's experience, but it does happen and so annoying to be accused of lying. I even had another mother tell me that it was a sign of 'lack of intelligence' in my DD.

Original poster

Kayzr · 16/02/2012 17:21

I don't see why anyone would lie about it anyway.

OP posts:

Hecubasdaughter · 16/02/2012 17:25

YANBU, DD1 slept through from 10 days with a slight blips in the couple of weeks before weaning and if she was ill. All hell broke loose when she was 2 and DD2 isn't so accomodating on the sleep front.

TroublesomeEx · 16/02/2012 17:28

YANBU. I don't know why people do it, but it's so flippin' annoying!

Mine didn't actually sleep through until they stopped BF - they both used to wake once in the night for a feed, but I brought them into bed with me and they went straight back to sleep so I've never had a 'disturbed' night's sleep.

That's right, I've never experienced a child related 'sleepless night'.

There are some (my mum for one!) who just don't believe it.

When it was clear they slept/settled well/easily when they were first born I got "wait until they're teething, they'll be up all night" - nope, no problems there; then it was "ah well wait until the terrible twos and they refuse to go to bed" - nope, never happened, both of them asked/indicated they wanted to go to bed from an early age.

I've no idea why, but some people seem to want you have a really shit time when you've had a baby.

I also don't think it helps people who are having a difficult time with 'difficult' babies to hear that it's "normal" and everyone else is experiencing the same. Because they're not and it gets in the way of actually helping them to deal with it.

Cherriesarelovely · 16/02/2012 17:28

YANBU, how annoying and rude plus what would she know?! People are so weird about stuff like that. I remember when DD was little and was toilet training and we turned up somewhere and she was wearing knickers not a nappy and one of the other mums sneered and said "Oh my DS COULD do that but he is too clever! I think that children who toilet train early are just doing it because they are doing what is expected of them"!!!!! Riiiiiiiight! Thanks for that!

ChickensHaveNoLips · 16/02/2012 17:30

YANBU. Some babies love their sleep, some don't. I had one of each. DS1 slept through from 9 weeks. DS2 was still reglarly waking until he was a year old. I thought he was broken

OneHandWavingFree · 16/02/2012 17:31

Yes, it is very annoying when people assume that parents are lying when they say that their children slept through from early on / breastfed easily /weren't fussy eaters / didn't go through a hitting or biting stage / didn't have terrible tantrums / enjoy going to school.

It's equally annoying when people assume that there must be inferior parenting involved when children don't sleep through for ages or unless in the parents' bed / don't take to breastfeeding / refuse to eat certain foods / go through a hitting or biting stage / have terrible tantrums / struggle at school.

I don't know why it's so hard for some people to grasp that babies and children are individuals from the very, very start, and therefore they will all be different. A parent's job is to be the one who knows them best, to love them for just who they are, and to figure out what works for them.

I know that's slightly off the topic but the "you're lying when you say she slept through" types are usually the "you're making a rod for your back by co-sleeping / you won't bond properly unless you co-sleep" types too. Lots of assumptions and lots of opinions about a unique person (the baby!) that you know better than they ever will.

YANBU, and your friend is showing her ignorance. Did she think that A was lying about her 7wo's full night of sleep, too?

fatlazymummy · 16/02/2012 17:34

All of my kids slept from 12pm -6am by the time they were 5 weeks old. They did wake up at odd times due to teething etc, but on the whole when I went to bed I expected to get a full nights sleep. People can say whatever they want, it's no skin off my nose . Just ignore them OP.

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 16/02/2012 17:34

DS1 - 5 weeks old
DD - 7 weeks old
DS2 - 4 weeks old
DS3 - 5 weeks old

I'm obviously a liar too OP - just ignore silly people

Original poster

Kayzr · 16/02/2012 17:35

No she didn't think A was lying as it has only happened once so far. I don't know if she will change her mind if it does become a regular thing.

A was pretty shocked by it all.

OP posts:

StealthPenguin · 16/02/2012 17:36

DS slept through the night from 6 or 7 weeks old.

No, of course, I'm lying.

bruffin · 16/02/2012 17:39

YANBU

Someone on MN always pops up to say that a parent is lying if their child sleeps through before they are 5! It's annoying.

Both DCs slept through from 12 weeks of their own accord. They just stopped waking for a feed in the night.

Oggy · 16/02/2012 17:46

I must admit, before I had kids I had no view on it whatsoever.

Then I had my son who was so many many miles away from sleeping through until nearly a year that I did (secretly - would never have said it) think that people exaggerated the ages at which their babies slept through.

Then I had my daughter at the same time a very close friend had her son. She had to wake him in the night to feed him and my EBF baby slept through form 9 weeks so now I am a lot more understanding of things that are nothing like the experience I have had.

mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 17:50

It's all lies. My dd is 2 and still doesn't sleep through.

Therefore all other children must behave in the exact same way as she does and you're all telling porky pies.

I know better because I'm a mum

zzzzz · 16/02/2012 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoffeeDog · 16/02/2012 17:56

My twins slept 7-6 from 7 weeks ;0 )

DD didnt sleep through until she was 18mths so we were

nenevomito · 16/02/2012 17:58

My first DC didn't sleep through until he was 18mos old and then "sleeping through was from 11pm-4am. He didn't sleep a full night until he was 3.

The second, however slept through sporadically from 6 weeks and then pretty much all the time from 8 weeks.

She's talking bollocks.

Nanny0gg · 16/02/2012 18:11

I don't think any of you are lying.
But I hate you all...

(Didn't get a full night's sleep for 2.5 years with DC1)

misslinnet · 16/02/2012 18:20

YANBU. B is being rude for assuming you're lying.

Some babies are just better at sleeping through than others. My DS was regularly sleeping for 8 - 10 hour stretches from about 10 weeks corrected.

And on the other hand, my sisters DS has just turned 1, and she says she's lucky if she gets 5 hours. Just the luck of the draw!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 16/02/2012 18:27

DS1 was around 18 months before we got a full night, DS2 6 weeks we did everything wrong with DS1 pfb but were determined to have a proper routine with DS2 and it worked. However, some friends who said their dc slept through had a different definition to us, they called 11pm or so to about 5 am all night. to me all night was from 7.20 to 7.00.

ddubsgirl · 16/02/2012 18:29

ds1-7/8 weeks
ds2-8 weeks
twins 14 months :/ the friend has no kids so has no idea!

Shutupanddrive · 16/02/2012 18:32

6.5 weeks is very precise!

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