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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be royally farked off at my friend's behaviour

73 replies

mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 15:56

... I have been friends with this guy for 10 years.
He got married on a whim a few months ago. I have never met his new wife.

He popped round for a visit and I told him congratulations etc. And also that if I'd have known/been invited I would have gotten them a gift but given the circumstances this has not been possible.

I know a fabulous rural couple's retreat. Vair vair swish and relaxing. I offered to book them a weekend there as a honeymoon/wedding gift.

Friend v. pleased and says thankyou and goes home to consult wife for dates that suit.

Given those dates, I go and book and pay etc.

2 weeks before they're due to go he tells me that he is cancelling as he didn't realise it was so rural. I gave them brochures/website/etc prior to them choosing dates.

AIBU to be hopping mad at him for wasting my time?

OP posts:
Clytaemnestra · 16/02/2012 16:28

I think you have a queue of people lining up to be your new friend on here. Plus some friends for your ungrateful one on the other thread. It's like it was meant to be ;)

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 16:29

I love on the other thread, can I not be ungrateful and look forward to it?

What an eye opener.

OP posts:
Clytaemnestra · 16/02/2012 16:40

"can I not be ungrateful and look forward to it?"

I think the answer to that is yes, if you're a spoiled bitch.

Are you going to lose money on it?

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 16:43

Haha it's such a weird sentence that I never ever thought I'd see written down.

I am going to wait till tonight and I'll see if my parents can go. If not I'll call them tomorrow and assess the damage........

OP posts:
LIZS · 16/02/2012 16:49

yanbu - how ungrateful . It doesn't look that rural (ie isolated) and is lush

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 16:54

There's a few small estates and an abandoned village (which is FASCINATING) nearby . Takes about 2 -3 hours drive including a ferry from Glasgow which isn't a massive ordeal.

OP posts:
EasilyBored · 16/02/2012 17:01

Can I be one of your new pals?! That's the loveliest, most thoughtful wedding present I could imagine, you're friend is being an ungrateful knob.

Scotsfairy · 16/02/2012 17:01

That place looks absolutely incredible and that area is gorgeous...sigh

runs off to make a booking

Adversecamber · 16/02/2012 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 17:39

It's a possibility adversecamber but she'd be mad to....

I'm a boring suburban mother with a DP. Dead intimidating I am. Lol.

Friend does have past history of going out with very manipulative and crazy women.

Bingo!

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 16/02/2012 17:57

I've been there, and I can confirm that it's fab. OP, what dates have you booked it for?

EdithWeston · 16/02/2012 18:02

Newly married and worried there's nothing to do a honeymoon-style weekend in a rural hide-away?

How long do we think it'll last?

fluffiphlox · 16/02/2012 18:02

Let's hire a charabanc and all go

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 18:02

Its for next weekend Agent.
I've been too and I was so impressed. I rave about it to everybody under the sun.
Which bit did you stay in if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:
Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 18:03

I just googled charabanc. And yes I do want one. Very badly!

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 16/02/2012 18:12

We stayed in one of the apartments (2 room) and we had brilliant weather when we were there. I'm desperate to go back, so I thought I could buy it from you, but we're going to see Hipsway (showing my age here!) next weekend.

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 18:23

Lucky you! i know exactly who that is. But I'm a SAHB and Deaf School fan as well so we're prob not the norm.

We've been once in amazing sunshine and stayed in the huge apartment above the shop (there was a gang of us) and once in the lodge in the rain. (Didn't mind though- wine was flowing freely and a tramp through the woods with a G&T in hand was quite liberating!)

OP posts:
snuffaluffagus · 16/02/2012 18:27

I hope you told him he's being a prick?

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2012 18:29

I haven't.... but I'm not sure that I'll be inviting him to anything in future.

OP posts:
Clytaemnestra · 16/02/2012 20:06

Tell him! He deserves to be feeling bloody guilty about how rude and ungrateful he is.

Grumpla · 16/02/2012 20:50

I may need two seats and a waterproof sheet on the charabanc as I am 39 weeks pg. That won't be a problem will it?

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 16/02/2012 21:19

I was wondering the same thing as Adverse, is his new wife jealous of his friendship with you?

Odd that you were not asked to the wedding (and lovely that you gave such a wonderful gift despite that).

I had a good male friend once, we met through work, got on fantastically and had absolutely no chemistry between us to be anything other than friends. He met a new girlfriend just a few weeks before I was due to marry DH and so I added her to his invitation and asked them both to the wedding. I was also leaving to move across the country and the wedding would have been the first time I met her.

The declined the invitation and my friend told me that his girlfriend felt that I was attracted to him and was using the wedding as a way to 'get' him at last. She actually thought I had gone to the trouble of arranging a wedding in order to make a move on another man. Hmm I told him that was ridiculous and he agreed, but then said he was sorry, not only was he not coming to the wedding, he was ending our friendship as well.

So it really wouldn't surprise me if your friends new wife thought your gift was an elaborate plan to seduce her husband. After all, I've been 'stuck' with my DH for nearly eleven years now because my cunning plan to 'steal' my friend at my wedding went wrong. Grin

Lightofthemoon · 16/02/2012 21:32

I'm sorry the plan went so wrong noones!!!!! I wonder if they are still happily together now... I doubt it!

mrscumber you sound like such a nice friend, please don't waste anymore energy on such ungrateful people.

MumofAurelia · 16/02/2012 21:41

Dear op, you are a lovely friend, especially considering he clearly hasn't been much of a mate by not introducing his fiancee or inviting you to the wedding.
I feel sorry for him as well though, my feeling is that he has been made to choose which is so sad.
I hope you get your money back or that your parents get a lovely weekend
Big hugs, what a rubbish thing to happen.

Almostfifty · 16/02/2012 21:46

This is really weird. I was being told all about this place today by someone.

She said it was fabulous. It's not far away from me OP, so if you're looking for takers I'm sure we could manage it... :)