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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with being offered a council FLAT instead of a HOUSE?

999 replies

OMFFG · 16/02/2012 10:46

We have 4 DCs, youngest 16 months and they think this is suitable!! The flat is 3 bedrooms and on the 2nd floor of a small tower block and has balconies which I would be pretty worried one of the DCs may fall out of.

This is my worst frigging nightmare. We have been 'homeless' for almost 2 years and the council have housed us in temporary accommodation (private rented) which we have to pay market value for (£875 per month) even though we did not choose it and it's a complete shit hole. We could not leave as we would lose our priority on the council bidding list. We lost our house when DH was made redundant and could not afford to pay £1200+ to privately rent.

Now after all this they have offered us a fucking flat. I am furious because every week until last week, there were only offering 3 bed houses but we would always be 3/4 on the list. Now that a flat was offered, less people have bid on it so we got to the top of the list. I did not even bid on it, the council did. Apparently they can bid on 'our behalf' as we are homeless and if we refuse this flat, we will be taken off the housing list. How the hell will we cope in a flat???

The rent is 'only' £380 a month but a house would only be £20 a month more.

AIBU to tell them to stuff it up their arses?

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 17/02/2012 10:03

"And again I say...the world does not owe us a living!."

Hmm

The state owes us all consideration and help when we need it.

It's part of the social contract in this country.

BupcakesandCunting · 17/02/2012 10:05

sausages, most of us have already said that OP's best option is taking the flat and saving/ applying for an exchange further down the line. But we can also appreciate that OP is upset/frustrated/feeling emotional about it.

Kayano · 17/02/2012 10:06

But they HAVE offered assistance when she needs it... Just not exactly the type she
Would like.

I doubt they deliberately took off all the available houses because it was ops turn

Yes it's
Rotten look but they have helped at every turn. Temp accom and now permanent accom within 2 years.

I really don't see what is so wrong about this sorry

Lueji · 17/02/2012 10:06

Bupcakes, the OP was originally upset at being allocated a flat. Never mind the estate. She had not been to see it then.

In fact, I think pps have been unfair. Everyone should have just agreed with OP:
to tell them to stuff it up their arses

Good on you, just go ahead and do it.
In fact, print the OP and show it to the Council. I'm sure they will just give you a house by seeing how upset you were at the flat, the balcony and the lack of space for a trampoline.
You poor you. How could have they done that to you?
Provide you with a place to live at that low cost.
You clearly deserve a house, just because you are you. And because you have a trampoline, of course.
And your kids may fall from the balcony. Only yours, of course. Not a risk to other children at all. How could they?
The bastards.

Happy now?

NormanTebbit · 17/02/2012 10:07

But there are many things I have no control of either. It's not my dream to be living in a flat. It's not my dream to have a week of camping as our only holiday this year.

AThingInYourLife · 17/02/2012 10:10

If it's rotten luck, then presumably you understand why she is frustrated and upset?

So a bit of sympathy wouldn't go amiss would it?

Or does it give you a little glow inside to lecture people in shit situations about how grateful they should be for their many "blessings"?

IDoNotLIKEFun · 17/02/2012 10:10

With Bups et al, BUT I can see why this has polarised the people like me who do live in social housing.

When I first joined Mumsnet is was looked down upon and relatively uncommon. Barrett Homes were sneered at FFS. As the first wave of the recession hit, council-house envy appeared.

Posters left, right and centre jealous of people in their "free" houses. It was even assumed that council tenants didn't work. Lots of new-build HA places were going up and suddenly state-subsidised housing didn't look like a bad option at all as jobs and mortgages became more and more insecure.

It annoyed me because while some people do get lucky enough to be offered a new, adequately-sized place in an acceptable area, the reality is just not like that at all. I lived in a 1-bed flat for four years with DD and DH. I HAD to accept it because the alternative was a hostel and eventually a larger place in a no-go estate because I would have to take the first available. I have lived in my S.E skag town all my life so I know they are unsafe.

Some places are not easily spruced-up with a lick of paint and decorating costs money. It took us a year save up to get carpet down in two of the places I've lived in and we were constantly treading on staples and nails. As for getting residents to clean up communal areas, more often than not it is a minority of the residents themselves who are pissing in the hallways and throwing bottles about.

The posters who have had to make difficult choices are probably frustrated that the OP appears to have been expecting her dream house because it doesn't work like that and is reminiscent of all the stories in the DM we have been treated to over the past few years about council tenants and mansions with swimming pools that we are so pissed off about.

sausagesandmarmelade · 17/02/2012 10:12

bupcakes please, please, please do not dictate to me how I should feel about the OP

NormanTebbit · 17/02/2012 10:13

"Or does it give you a little glow inside to lecture people in shit situations about how grateful they should be for their many "blessings"?"

Is that directed at me?

I live in a second floor two bed flat with three children sharing a room can I have some sympathy?

AThingInYourLife · 17/02/2012 10:16

If you can't understand the difference between not having all your dreams come true and being offered one option for where you house your family after 2 years of being homeless, then I guess basic comprehension is beyond you, never mind empathy.

But sure, who needs empathy or kindness?

We owe each other fuck all but a good telling off and a bit of gloating when we get the chance.

IDoNotLIKEFun · 17/02/2012 10:17

Also agree that this could have been pointed out more gently by some people, although difficult with such a confrontational OP. And it's understandable that people who have been on the receiving end of entitled scrounger accusations for years have become impatient.

No excuse for outright insults though.

SimoneD · 17/02/2012 10:18

Ive just read all of this thread and still dont understand why, if the OP is currently paying £875 in rent, cant she privately rent a house.

In most places you could rent a nice house in a decent area for that monthly rent. If its just a case of having a deposit and rent in advance then surely you would be delighted to have somewhere to live for only £380 per month so you could save. The council flat would just be a stepping stone for a short time.

I really think this thread is a wind up. I dont consider someone 'homeless' when there is an income coming in that can sustain £875 per month in rent.

usualsuspect · 17/02/2012 10:19

IDoNotLIKEFun

Fantastic post

NormanTebbit · 17/02/2012 10:19

well thanks A Thing

maybe you should read my contributions to the thread

NormanTebbit · 17/02/2012 10:23

Later when she went to see the float she says it is in a bad block, rubbish in the stairwell etc then you can see that this is a hard thing to take,

But before that - social housing ios so mixed. There are lovely flats, there are crap flats. It is ridiculous to complain before you have seen it.

NormanTebbit · 17/02/2012 10:25

"I really think this thread is a wind up. I dont consider someone 'homeless' when there is an income coming in that can sustain £875 per month in rent."

I wondered about that too - but it may be that she was getting housing benefit?

£800 is about our mortgage and we still struggle even with two of us working Sad

BupcakesandCunting · 17/02/2012 10:32

Sausages, where have I dictated to you how you should feel? Wind your neck in.

usualsuspect · 17/02/2012 10:33

Whether its a wind up or not , it shows the attitudes of some posters towards someone having a shitty time

TotemPole · 17/02/2012 10:36

The OP said later on in the thread that they don't get housing benefit.

LilacWaltz · 17/02/2012 10:41

So, everyone, what do you suggest the council DO??

There were no houses for the op...... The flat came up in that round of bidding......if there is NO stock to offer, what would you expect thecouncil to actually do in this situation?

TotemPole · 17/02/2012 10:42

Thinking about it, if they don't get HB on that rent, their income must be a reasonable amount.

AThingInYourLife · 17/02/2012 10:45

Norman - no, it wasn't directed at you.

"I live in a second floor two bed flat with three children sharing a room can I have some sympathy?"

Do you want some?

I wouldn't presume that a flat was a bad place to live, or that 3 children in a bedroom was overcrowded. You might live somewhere really great with loads of cool stuff nearby in a big flat with huge rooms.

But if you live somewhere you hate but have to live because of work, if you are overcrowded because of the parlous state of housing in the country, if you are having to raise your children in conditions that you don't think are optimum, then of course I have sympathy for you.

And I do think you are entitled to expect more from the country you live in than working hard to have a life that is very far from what you think is a good, decent life.

But I don't see why the OP being given 1 housing option has any bearing on that, except inasmuch as the housing situation for many young families is unacceptable.

HappyMummyOfOne · 17/02/2012 10:46

The OP doesnt want to go and look for a private rental that matches her expectations, shes paid tax so is entitled to the perfect house handed to her on a plate Hmm

Given she wanted a 3 bed house and is being offered a 3 bed flat, the children would have been sharing anyway!!! If you have four children you know they will either have to share or that you will always need x income to buy a 5 bed house.

With a salary that can cover that huge rent, then they are not homeless in any shape or form. The OP says they get no HB help with this. Running through a benefits check on a salary of £30k they would get a good amount of HB, CTB plus CTC and CB so if they get no benefits then the salary must be even higher. No reason not to private rent.

SimoneD · 17/02/2012 10:46

"Thinking about it, if they don't get HB on that rent, their income must be a reasonable amount"

On this basis this thread is really pissing me off. That a couple on a decent income can expect to be rehoused by the council in the house and area of their choosing for a minimal rent. Thats not what council housing is for.

Lueji · 17/02/2012 10:48

What would pps answer to:

"I have asked my friend to lend me a pram because I can't afford one and my old one is broken. She has been handing out all her nice stuff to other friends. No other friends have prams/buggies that they can lend. She gave me a fucking buggy. I can't go out with my 8 month old in a fucking buggy. He'll be fucking uncomfortable. Why didn't she keep the pram for me? I was really looking forward to it. I have always given her fucking birthday presents.
AIBU to tell her to shove it up her arse?"

With kindness?

I know, different situations, but if we distract ourselves from the social housing hang ups, perhaps pps can realise what angered some people about the OP's attitudes.