to be pissed off with being offered a council FLAT instead of a HOUSE?

[OMFFG]

We have 4 DCs, youngest 16 months and they think this is suitable!! The flat is 3 bedrooms and on the 2nd floor of a small tower block and has balconies which I would be pretty worried one of the DCs may fall out of.

This is my worst frigging nightmare. We have been 'homeless' for almost 2 years and the council have housed us in temporary accommodation (private rented) which we have to pay market value for (£875 per month) even though we did not choose it and it's a complete shit hole. We could not leave as we would lose our priority on the council bidding list. We lost our house when DH was made redundant and could not afford to pay £1200+ to privately rent.

Now after all this they have offered us a fucking flat. I am furious because every week until last week, there were only offering 3 bed houses but we would always be 3/4 on the list. Now that a flat was offered, less people have bid on it so we got to the top of the list. I did not even bid on it, the council did. Apparently they can bid on 'our behalf' as we are homeless and if we refuse this flat, we will be taken off the housing list. How the hell will we cope in a flat???

The rent is 'only' £380 a month but a house would only be £20 a month more.

AIBU to tell them to stuff it up their arses?

Plenty of people cope in flats. If you don't like it you have the option to rent privately. Assuming this is a wind up as posters above say.

YABU

I'd give my right arm for a council flat with enough bedroom, as would many other people. I currently live in a 2 bed private rent, my 2 opposite sex DC have the bedrooms and I have a sofa bed.

YABVU

And have this

Beggars can't be choosers is a phrase, its not actually calling someone a beggar. If I say too many cooks, I don't actually think you are a chef. It means you're not in a position to be choosy, which is perfectly accurate in this case.

There are plenty of things to pick on on this thread, a well known phrase which you know isn't literal is a daft one to pick on.

Mrsdmitri
I know exactly where Adele grew up, I know West Norwood, I live on the doorstep, I know the shop, I have shopped in the shop .

Otoh, do you know where the flat op is ranting about actually is and is it a "wasteland"?

Do you think op would have said "yes, lovely, thank you, I will have that flat without any balconies above a shop on a South London High Street"?

.

Does the OP say the flat is in London?

I don't know. I have lived in flats with children and it was OK, we were just very careful near the balconies and locking the door. Many families in many parts of the world manage great in flats. What matters is the roof over your head, clean safe space to live in, something you can afford, that matters more than whether it is on one level or not. Many council flats are huge. If you are homeless, I would take it and try to move/exchange later. It is rare to get offered something these days.

Vicar Thank you .

We will already be 'overcrowded' when we move into this flat as we will have the 3 DSs (all over 1) in one room, DD is the other, so therefore will be put back into Band 2 after we have completed the 12 month introductory tenancy but the priority date will be set at 12 months after we have moved in. We will realistically have to wait years again as we will again be way down the list.

We will be long gone by then even if it bloody kills me! DS3 will be at school and as we will not need to pay childcare, we won't need a council property hopefully.

It is true that my ranting and swearing comes from complete frustration that we are finding it impossible to improve our situation and it sometimes seems like we will NEVER again have the comfortable life we had before our financial crisis.

I would never rant and swear in RL but it is quite cathartic to type 'fucking' especially telling those who, because they are lucky enough not to be in my position, feel they can judge my family size to 'fuck off'!

It is bloody hard when you are kicked down to pick yourself up again it is like wading though quicksand. We were hoping for the good luck to get a reasonable house in a reasonable area that we could make 'nice' and save, save, save leaving it in a good condition for the next person. There are 2/3 houses available every week in our town so they are out there. Our system is supposed to be 'choice based' but not for us it seems.

bibbity Don't get the wrong end of the stick please - my comment was more to with the C4 reporting than the OPs incredibly badly worded first post (and subsequent posts tbh) and even your post (intentionally or not) seemed to be saying 'look what she's come from'. I'll admit I'm probably being very touchy. This whole thread has left a bad taste in my mouth and made me feel very defensive about being a council tenant and living in a council estate.

How is that overcrowded? Thats completely normal for most people.

You could maybe try and see how much better off than many others you are. There are families with children stuck in one bed flats, in homeless B&B's, in hostels and sleeping on floors with friends and family.

Life isn't perfect. Make the best of what you have been relatively lucky enough to get.

That's not many houses coming free though. There are 30 or more (3bed houses)each fortnight on our lists, about 100 properties including flats, 2 beds etc.

So what will you do? Accept it?

I'm glad you posted that reply ^^ OP.

I had a feeling under all the 'fucks'! that was pretty much what you were trying to say.

The only thing I would check is the overcrowded status. Really don't want to be negative but some LA's consider 3 in a room acceptable if it's single sex. Said because I don't want you going through these emotions again.

BUT there was a fab thread on here a while back about triple bunk beds which you could maybe look at to create more floor space in the boys room.

But omfg you are far from being the only person who has had to struggle in this way. Why are you assuming anyone who is commenting is sat in some mansion with no financial worries whatsoever?? You seem to think everyone has got it in for you

Regardless of the fact this thread is in AIBU it is clear to me that the OP needs emotional support at this time not judgement, criticising and a general slaying of her character/life choices. I suspect some of the posts on here, particularly in relation to her children, are making her quite upset and that would make anyone defensive if they felt their children were spoken about in such a derogatory way.

I can't believe that this is supposed to be a place where parents come for support with some of the things that are written on here.

You are certainly not overcrowded.

When my Mum left her abusive boyfriend ,with me and my sister, we all had to share one bedroom.

That was a 15 year old, an 11 year old and a 40 something woman!

Now, I feel your argument has gone flat.

but Eau when your in the situation the OP is it can feel that way. I'm sure if many others as I was upthread are honest those who have been in this situation have possibly had these emotions - even when 'given' somewhere secure to live.

Ok, whatever, just thought as you addressed your reply to me it was something to do with what I said. If you look at my many posts on this thread you will see that they are all to do with defending living in a council flat - but hey ho!

I didn't get any choice when I was homeless either. If you don't bid every week the council puts an automatic bid in. You are probably not overcrowded by the legal definition as opposite sexes can share a room if the oldest is under ten. Therefore the council would expect you to put two kids in each bedroom. My Ds and DD share. I doubt you stand much chance if you appeal against it.

Good luck anyway.

Oh piss off Paranoid. We are not lucky. We WOULD have been lucky if none of this had happened in the first place and we were as comfortably off as most of the Boden wearers are on this forum who I am sure we have worked just as hard as. I am not interested in comparing myself to other people who may be living in a cardboard box, I am only interested in MY life. Thanks.

DD is over 10.

paranoid - is 3 kids sharing 1 room really normal? not one person i know has 3 to a room.

2 to a room maybe. i dont know anyone with 3 kids in the 1 room though. i would say that is overcrowded.

OP - realistically have they said how long the wait would be for moving on that basis?

I have three in one room.

Well we'd have been lucky if my DH hadn't ended up having a brain tumour and being unable to work for over a year leaving us saddled with a shit load of debt that even now two years on is nearly crippling us despite us both now working full time in fairly well paid jobs. And if we miss just ONE payment on our mortgage we will be repossessed. So hate to burst your bubble but life is far from superior and Boden wearing here but still I'm grateful for what we DO have

I do. And I know plenty of others.

i think the "rules" are different though in local authority housing - they dont like mixed sexes sharing over the age of 10.

get advice on that basis op?