to be gutted because parents selling the family home

[takethattastic]

and moving some distance away even though I have my own home, married, 38 and 2 kids??!!

YABU

Oh of course YANBU! As long as you don't throw a tantrum at your parents! :)

I think you're just going to have to grow up and deal with it.

Possible responses:

YABU: at least you have a home
YABU: at least you had a family home
YABU: at least you had a family
YANBU: you'll always miss it
YANBU: forbid your parents.

meh.

Your sadness is understandable, but so is their move.

When my mum sold my childhood home after my dad died, I thought I'd be really upset, but it actually hardly bothered me at all. And now I never have cause to go to Lincolnshire again, so that's a bonus.

Buy it - I did when my parents wnted to sell up

YANBU

I do get what you mean, it is sad.

I know the thought of my Ma ever selling up would make me sob like a baby. But I would do it in private.

Both my parents died recently. I am heartbroken at the thoughts of selling our family home. They bought it 52 years ago and lived there all their married lives. We had very happy times there BUT things change and life has to go on.

YANBU to feel sad but the feelings will pass.

I bought my family home.

I think the forbid your parents might be good lol! Cutting the apron strings and growing up - wargh! In my min I am still in my 20s not approaching 40! Anyone got the lotto numbers for Sat and then I could buy it?! :O

YABU

It's their house.

Not "the family home".

And if we had the money Id buy it in a second.

We've always said that if we ever came in to money [roll on lottery] the first thing we would do is buy the house and give it back to her as she would never accept money off any of us

YANBU - the memories are still there but if it was the home you grew up in, then yes, it's understandable to be upset, their home is probably really comforting to you, and you still view it as 'the family home' despite your life.

However your parents aren't being unreasonable by selling it either.

Just get the tissues ready for when they clear out the attic and want to de-clutter - I.e. throw out all your childhood crap treasures!!

Trills you are so so right, I love that house though! Can I not pretend its a teensy bit mine lol?! I lived in it for so long! Time to let go......

YANBintheleastU. I'm sure that your parents have their reasons and have no cause to doubt that you understand them but nonetheless it's sad and a passing of an era. I'm not ashamed to tell you that not only did my male, 40-something friend cry when his parents sold the home that he'd been born in and raised in but so did I, as his parents are like second family to me. Sure, they had good reason, ill health and declining years so they moved into warden-attended accomodation but still it was very upsetting for all of us who know and love them and who had been welcomed into their home, friends and family alike.

It's completely understandable that you would be sad. Give yourself acceptance of that fact but try to focus on the good points and the reasons your family have for selling up.

Actually that might be the good part - attic clearance and reunited with 70s and 80s sindy dolls. They don't make them like they used to!!

YABU

But then I want my parents to move to somewhere more suitable for older age. They live in a village with few amenities and no bus service so they are dependent on driving which in bad weather they are already reluctant to do. Thankfully they are internet savvy so can get stuff delivered - but still feel they could do better and enjoy life bit more.

Also practical stuff out ways sentimentality for me - so maybe I'm not worth listening to.

Gosh really?
YABRU

I understand , I have nightmares About this . My patents have a very special house and I lived there till I was 25 from a baby . I love it as it has do many memories . I am dreading the day it happens

Stupid phone, but you get the gist .

GrahamTribe I will cry buckets but am sure they will too. doing my best to be supportive of the downsizing retiral thing but yes feeling at home and memories of family, friends, neighbours. Thats the hard bit!! On the upside they are moving to another family home by the sea. Lots of holidays planned in..

YABU - but it's understandable, if you don't live near by it really does feel like more of an 'end' than when other people's parent's sell up who live near to them, since my parents sold their family home I've not been to the area I grew up in and I can't see I will ever again. That whole town is no longer 'home'.

However, having seen my parents having to clear out my Nana's house, not knowing what was something she treasured, what she just kept as she's not got round to throwing it etc when she had to go in a home, I am glad they've already done the downsize.

It's sad, but my parents are so much happier since they retired and moved I don't begrudge them their happiness one bit.

Packing up my childhood bedroom was hellish, though...I was 24 not 30 something, though, so I didn't have a real home of my own at the time and hated the fact that half my stuff ended up in storage for the next few years as I moved around, and a few bits and bobs disappeared along the way. I couldn't help thinking 'if Mum and Dad hadn't moved all this stuff would still be safe at their house...'. Oh well. You learn and you grow up...

NB the village where I grew up is still and always will be 'home' even though I haven't been there for years. It just IS home. That's just the way it is...

Nice that everyone says they can see their parents happier. I know they will be just being unreasonable probably! Really want them to be happy, enjoying life and enjoying retirement and be financially better off. Now I wish I had a bigger house so they can come and stay more often when they do move!

If it's any comfort takethatastic, my friend's parents are very happy in their new home. It's much more suitable, before they lived in a huge Victorian house that was Grade 2 listed so they couldn't do things like install DG, they're safe and far more financially secure now and it's a huge relief for them. We all miss my friend's beautiful ex family home and it's extraordinary history (both family and wider history, it used to be an apothacary), but the important thing to remember is that his parents just couldn't cope with such a large, expensive and rambling house.

Bottom line, I guess, is that they are what made the house and it's welcoming atmosphere, not the bricks and mortar and they are still here and happier for having moved (though I admit they cried at first too). We still have Mr and Mrs P and that's what counts and you will still have the special parents who made your old family home so special too.