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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's odd no picture yet of new baby?

70 replies

doradaisy · 15/02/2012 18:21

One of my close friends had a baby 3 days ago - was ages before we got the obligatory text to say weight/time of birth and then I found out from another friend what name was.

This friend is an avid facebook user and keeps saying she'll put up pic but hasn't yet although I know she's using her Iphone in hospital to comment and 'liking' message/statur updates.

Am delighted for her - why she doesn't want to show off baby is beyond me?!

Of course I probably sound v nosey and dying for info I know what it's like to be mad busy in first few days after giving birth, but does this strike anyone as odd??

Will have to wait for Hello magazine exclusive maybe?!

OP posts:

aquashiv · 15/02/2012 21:26

Maybe she has had an epiphany and want to live in the real world rather than a Facbook fabricated version?

Bossybritches22 · 15/02/2012 23:50

Slightly off topic but it does concern me that folk are so naive about photos on FB.

as RRR said .......

facebook owns the photo once you've uploaded it, and you don't fully delete anything off there it's all archived, you loose some control over what you put on facebook regardless of no of friends and privacy settings

Your security/ privacy settings can be tight as a drum but FB have the right to use those pics as they see fit.

Once they are out there they are NOT your property and they can appear anywhere.

Just so you know!

Pandemoniaa · 15/02/2012 23:57

Thank Fuck that there was no Facebook when my dcs were born. We could enjoy our newborn babies happy in the knowledge that we weren't supposed to share these intimate moments with half the sodding world.

Things are different now but when dgd was born, nobody put any photographs anywhere on the internet until after all the family had met her and the photographs (taken by me, a photographer but not involving buckets or daisies) had been approved and chosen by ds2 and ddil.

libertychick · 16/02/2012 00:04

YABU
When my DD was born we didn't tell family for about 8 hours and didn't send the announcement text for over 24 hours - we really wanted some precious time when she was ours alone and all our attention was focused on her.
I never have and never will put a pic of her on facebook or any other site - she is an individual with an entitlement to privacy - she can make the decision herself some day if she wants to put up pictures on herself aged 2 days on line!

IMO in the next ten or so years there will be a huge realisation that this generation has totally sacrificed our right to a private life.

nalubeadsgirl · 16/02/2012 00:08

Hmm. If she's that obsessed with FB then she's probably the type who portrays a certain kind of 'perfect' world on FB too...we all know the type!

Maybe baby/birth/whole experience a massive reality check into the real world - and suddenly FB pales into insignificance (quite rightly)

I kind of get where you're coming from, and think you're being given too much of a hard time for querying! :) It does seem odd behaviour for her from what you've said. But hey. She's just had a massive life shock! (fb is bottom of my list of priorities now...can imagine it would fall off my radar totally when I have a baby)

tryingtoleave · 16/02/2012 00:09

I think YANBU.

Just because the wowsers on here dont like fb doesn't mean it isn't a fairly normal way of announcing news these days.

3 days is maybe a bit soon to comment, but the few people I know who haven't sent out pictures fairly quickly (whether by fb or email) have been struggling in some way. If it wasn't clear at the time then it was later. One friend who waited ten days to announce the birth and never sent pictures I'm sure had pnd and was the unhappiest new mother I've ever seen. A year later she celebrated her birthday but did nothing for her dc's 1st birthday, which i have also found odd.

I have another friend who took ages to send a picture, and has posted fairly ambivalently on fb and I am worried about her. Hard to know what to do in such a situation.

My dd looked hideous when she was born but I was very excited about her birth and keen to share the news. We sent a picture taken at a bit of a distance.

nalubeadsgirl · 16/02/2012 00:09

p.s Have to say i HATE scan pictures and new born pictures on FB. Is nothing sacred/private/intimate any more?! :)

WMDinthekitchen · 16/02/2012 00:12

I think, therefore I am a dinosaur but do not necessarily have to function on facebook to exist. Hope you get to meet the baby in person, soon, Dora

foreverondiet · 16/02/2012 00:28

YABVVU.

One of my friends didn't post that she'd had a baby and when she did post no pohotos and I thought it odd, luckily I asked a mutual friend and it turned out the baby had downs and she was in shock etc and coming to terms with it. She'll post a photo in her own time.

DodieSmith · 16/02/2012 00:48

It is not odd, to not post a photo of your newborn baby on FB. It is normal.

tryingtoleave · 16/02/2012 01:08

But forever, that is the point. If someone doesn't send a picture, it is not unreasonable to start wondering whether something is wrong, with baby or mother.

tryingtoleave · 16/02/2012 01:10

The friend I mentioned above is the only person I know who has a fb account and has not posted a picture of her baby on fb. Before fb, people emailed pictures. Before that, I don't know - I'm not a dinosaur

inatrance · 16/02/2012 01:34

Aw you're getting a kicking but I know where you're coming from OP, if someone is constantly updating FB while pg (with every little twinge and detail) it's like this massive build up, so when they have the baby it's like - I wanna seeee!!

Mind you, I put pics of DS up within an hour of my HB, I couldn't wait to show him off!

LadyWidmerpool · 16/02/2012 02:03

For me, day 4 was post CS agony. Problems with BFing and topping up with formula. Horrid baby blues. Anxiously waiting permission to go home. Resenting jolly texts from people assuming everything was fine. If I'd thought that a close friend was posting this about me on the Internet I would have howled and howled. YABU.

samandi · 16/02/2012 06:28

You are being weird.

But then I've never understood the hysteria that some people get with newborns anyway.

EdithWeston · 16/02/2012 06:33

I am so glad I don't use Facebook and have never had an account.

Clytaemnestra · 16/02/2012 06:44

Everyone takes this so seriously!

OP, I put photos of DD up on facebook on day 4, and we got home from hospital on day 3 (all the ones I took on my blackberry in the hospital made her look a bit like gollum TBH). When I put photos up, three or four people commented "Oooh we've been wondering when you'd put some up / we've been waiting to see the baby!" All I thought when they said that was Oh how nice, people want to see my baby! Didn't feel intrusive at all.

GavisconJunkie · 16/02/2012 06:46

YABU get a grip. There may be a problem or she might just be knackered & not thinking as she normally might.

mummytime · 16/02/2012 07:04

I really dislike pictures of kids on FB. I nearly complained to a neice for putting some including my kids on (and would have if they had been tagged).

Bucharest · 16/02/2012 07:12

I want your friend's name so I can ask her to be my friend and then I can delete all the people on my FB who think I am remotely interested in every burp/fart/nappy content/what they had for their dinner/what is happening (as it happens gahhhhhh)on One Born Every Fucking Minute....

She sounds very very normal.

You do not.

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