Valentine's present... AIBU?

[errrseriously]

Got DH some chocs and wine. We don't do cards.

Neighbour saw me bring them in and said 'Oh, I was waiting for your flowers to be delivered' (I have been out all day). I laughed and said DH would never do that.. Genuinely, I would never expect that.

I needed to text DH and related the story to him. He did laugh too, but then replied: I tidied the bedroom FOR YOU.

Now I am really angry. What he means is that I do not do enough around the house and he has done this 'for me' because I haven't done it. He hasn't done it for me at all. He has done it for himself. Because he thinks we live in a frigging hotel. Not a home.

THIS is my gift. He TIDIED HIS OWN FRIGING BEDROOM. And presumably I am supposed to be suitably thankful.

SO, AIBU?

I am SAHM (to two pre-school children, one of whom has SN), have no help and he (on an average week) does NO housework at all. He earns all money.

Poke him in the eye with a chocolate! And smile!

Does he 'babysit' his own kids too?

Enjoy the wine :)

Perhaps he was making an ill-judged attempt at humour?

yanbu. Its like 'babysitting' his own kids. Eat the chocs yourself

If it makes you feel any better, DH phoned me from the shops to say, 'do you want me to buy you a card or are you not bothered, coz I've only got a fiver in my pocket and I need to buy crickets for the lizard'!

Oh yes, and eat the chocs and drink the wine yourself.

YAB a bit U

The "for you" comment is annoying but he still tidied up so you could be a bit greatful

You say you are the SAHP and he "earns all the money" so he has done something outside of his role but in yours which he percieves as helpful

Bitch slap the mo'fo with a wet fish.

Leave the bastard.

The trouble is, it's now tidy to a degree which is not sustainable.

ALl of children's toys have been (neatly) packed away. Presumably, we just won't let the children play with toys because they create mess.

I am stuck in a middle hell. Either the kids (who I am with all day) aren't happy because they want to get their toys out or DH isn't happy because his bedroom isn't spartan.

Maybe I should just get rid of all the toys and go out all day every day and pretend that the children and I don't actually live here. ...

Pull his arm off and beat him with the wet end.

Be a bit grateful for him tidying up

I'd eat the chocolates and drink the wine and if he says anything tell him you ate them for him.

Why are the childrens toys in your bedroom?

My kids used to have their toys out all day, by the time I got home from work their dad had put them all away, they had had all day and why should I come home to an untidy house?

How much effort or thought did it take you to buy some 'chocs and wine'?

I think it your DH has put more effort in, and actually thought about what you might appreciate. Obviously he was wrong in your case.

Shame really, as he sounds like a caring bloke.

Why can't the toys be packed away when they've finished playing with them?

Don't be grateful, don't be angry - just tell him you got wine and chocolates to share after the DCs have gone to bed. Its not worth WWIII now is it? Its not like you got him anything very personal or difficult to obtain.

Complexnumber I can assure you it has nothing to do with what I would appreciate.

It was agreed that the children's toys would be in our room, as they don't have anywhere else to play. And I don't mean tidied away. I mean packed away.

I am not talking about some easily accessible option. I mean the toys are now (without making 'a mess') inaccessible.

How easy is it to buy a present when you have two small kids? One of whom basically can't cope with pretty much any sort of shop or supermarket? How upkind of me!

How ungrateful I am that, tomorrow, when OUR SN child kicks off for his toys tomorrow, I will be stuck in such a helpful place of upsetting either my son or my DH.

LUCKY LUCKY me.

Erm - maybe tell him that your DC will want the toys and he gas put them somewhere you cannot access and ask him to put them somewhere tidy but accessible instead?

Oh dear i do think you are getting this a little out of perspective. Get the toys out when kids in bed. Tell dh this is not a practical help and will make life harder. Eat the chocs and drink the wine yourself.
You can always shop online for gifts, maybe try and find some more storage for the toys where they can be tidied away but still accessible for the kids.

Blimey, it's all a bit of a drama isn't it?

Are you sure you're not pissed off because you would have liked flowers or something?

He sounds weird regarding the toys and imo this is the important issue here, not presents and flowers. The toys shouldn't stay packed and your children should be able to play.

I don't understand why you mentioned your neighbour's comment to him. Maybe worra is right...

Drip feed!

YABU

He said " for you" as you normally do it. Not because it is your job or is your VD gift.

Maybe he was just teasing you and actually has a really nice present to bring home to you (or at least a present)? Hoping so for you!

Oh the drama