Teenage meltdown

[Divorcedand2teenDDs]

After a calm couple of days I had melt down with my younger (14) daughter last night. I was tired and wanting her to be grateful for all she has (and I work so hard for) and she was doing the usual, bolshie teenager thing that I have recently been so much better at not getting riled by. So, it was my fault and childish of me to tip water on her. I have apologised but she's not talking to me and I feel really vulnerable. She threatened last night to go to her father (who left me 2yrs ago after 20years marriage) and she and her sister are out with him today. So here I am on my tod on valentine's day, in need of reassurance and a morale boost. Can anyone help, please?

I don't expect my teens and pre teens to be grateful as such BUT the whole entitlement thing has me raging .
Much sympathy to you OP. being the parent of a teen is umpteen times harder than being the parent of a baby and toddle and I've had shockingly 'difficult' babies and toddlers.
Just as I thought I'd grappled with the parenting monster and a least held it in a half nelson of control now it's pulled free and has bitten me hard on the bum.
I'm totally flummoxed by it all. One day they are marginally nice the next all I get is a dirty look and a grunt if I'm lucky( or maybe not so lucky).

Op I have 2 teenage DDs and I am not a perfect parent.

They have both driven me to distraction on occasion however I am the adult, so in these situations I would always leave the room, let everyone calm down THEN talk to them about their behaviour.

It's your job to model good behaviour from the time they are toddlers until they are adults. Imagine if she had an argument at school with someone and then poured water on them. She would be in big trouble and rightly so.

It's not acceptable behaviour as supernanny would say

MissSayuri My Mum's quite passive normally, so it didn't half give me a shock! She must have been really cross because I was standing in her kitchen and she was just outside the back door watering her plant pots at the time, I mean, risking her floors!

I think teens being actively ungrateful is really hard to take, DS1 (13) has driven me to the point of screaming madness before now with his lack of respect and entitled attitude.

I grew up in a house with very little money. I certainly wasn't perfect as a teen but I valued everything I had, took care of my personal possessions and understood financial limitations.

DS meanwhile doesn't give a shit about anything, values nothing (all the furniture in his room is broken/damaged because he doesn't look after it, he has ripped holes in his carpet, clothes are a disgrace) and has no concept of the value of money. He is only able to live in the house we do, and have the things he does because I have a bloody good job (which is v demanding), yet he will not do one thing to help around the house because none of his friends (whose mums are all SAHMs or on benefits) have to.

The joy of being a working lone parent

I think you showed restraint with a glass of water. When i annoyed my mum once with back chat she threw a plate at me, she was a good shot too!
As a not long since teenager i can assure you that most (not all) will be ungrateful until they have their first child and realise just how freekin hard it can be to raise a child (like me)!
I think you should have some lovely alone time and give yourself a pat on the back for being a single mum raising two teenagers!