to think people should keep their bigoted noses out and stop seeing my parents over this.

[reallysickofthis]

DH is bisexual. That means he finds either gender attractive.

He has had a couple of relationships with men, more with women.

He and I have been together 8 years and have two beautiful DCs, he is a fantastic partner and father.

He is no more likely to cheat on me than a 'straight' DH would be.

Is that so hard to understand?

My parents recently 'found out' DH is bi - it's not something we ever hid but we didn't make a point of telling them, same as we didn't make a point of telling them about his ex-GFs or general sexual preferences. Not relevant, you know? But now they know oh my god they will not stop going on about it.

My dad refused to sit next to him at xmas dinner. My cousin was told not to let DH put her son on his lap!! My mother said she was so glad we had DDs as she would worry about DH 'interfering' with a DS.

I haven't spoken to them since and don't intend to.

I was talking over this with a good friend of mine - I'm really shaken and upset about it all and the DCs are asking about seeing granny and grandad - and she said "well you can't blame them for being worried can you". I spluttered a bit and she went on to ask if I was sure that DH didn't have 'some bloke on the side'.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

I am absolutely reeling. Surely people don't really think things like this anymore

yanbu, the way your dh has been treated is awful, it is completely understandable to not talk to your parents over this, and it sounds like you need some new friends

What you knew were probably three homosexual men whose urge to conform/have children over ride their true sexual preference, cogito. They probs my weren't bi at all.

YADNBu. I would have gone nuts. What wyrdmother said.

YADNBU but sadly I am not surprised. A lot of idiots seem to equate bi/homosexual with paedophile and adulterer. They are morons and you are unlucky to have them as members of your family.

YADNBU. However, people can change their views and be re-educated, not just about things like racism but also homophobia.

Let them know, gently, how hurt you have been by the changed attitudes since they found out, when they were perfectly reasonable with DH beforehand, and let them stew. I'm not sure where you go with the grandparent's visits though - perhaps you could allow access when both you and DH are there in a neutral place, such as a visit to the zoo or something?

I sincerely hope they come around and realise how silly their attitudes are. It's very sad. My dad had to reassess his views on homosexuality recently due to two family members revealing themselves as non-heterosexual. He has softened his views and realised how bigoted he was, so people can change.

YANBU - idiotic people. How horrible.

"I would give them time, I can imagine this if I found out my SIL was Bi I would be a teensy bit shocked too"

Why would it even matter to you who your sil had sex with before she married your brother? This world will be a slightly nicer place when people and churches stop giving a shit about who we are or are not having sex with.

Notfluffy - who mentioned the church? I am a Christian, am appalled by what the OP's family have said and have plenty of gay (and bi) mates. Not all Christians are stereotypical bible bashers, some of us take our faith seriously but are liberals!

Reallysick, my heart goes out to you, what a disgrace your family are to you. All that matters is your marriage to your DH, concentrate of having a lovely Valentine's day and forget them until you can think rationally. There is some great advice on here but don't act irrationally because you are livid - think about what you want out of the situation and adopt the advice which correlates with that. Hopefully they'll see their so far off the mark and come round to sense!

So your DH fell in love with the person first rather than their gender - why the big fuss? I really feel for you, it seems madness to stgmatise someone because they love a person regardless for gender, so I hope your family wake up and realise they are being idiotic quickly.

"Notfluffy - who mentioned the church? "

Jeeez, relax, had you been arsed to read a couple of posts on you'd have realised I'd posted in the wrong thread and apologised.

I feel very sad for you both - bigotry sometimes seems to come out of nowhere.

You have said that you are currently NC with your parents, unsurprisingly, but do you really want that? Is there a local support group for families of "bi-s" that you could take your parents to? Perhaps if they talked to other families about their concerns and their shock it might help them relearn what they think and how they feel.

YANBU at all

at such ignorant people!

" Surely people don't really think things like this anymore "

As you have discovered from your parents and a friend, " anymore " is not particularly relevant to this topic

It seems to me that these views are far more widespread than is popularly imagined on MN.

Slight overreaction Notfluffy? No need to be rude to me, I was merely pointing out that some people have a very tainted opinion of religious folk, and that some of us don't go around rubbing our faith in others faces.

And yes, I wasn't (as you so politely put it) 'arsed' to read every post here. Looks like you made the same general mistake as I did by not paying attention to what was going on in the thread.

You directed your question at me. I hadn't mentioned religion in relation to this thread. I wasn't being rude, just asking you to relax as you appeared offended that I may even suggest religion might be relevant. Which I didn't, not that don't think it is 'entirely' irrelevant

Notfluffy

your husband is Bissexual not a pervert , I think your parents are bigotted and really ignorant and what they said is Unforgivable especially about having daughters and not a son and if somebody is going to cheat they willr egardless of sexuality ,

To each their own, It's nobodies business but your's, Personally I wouldn't date a guy who was bi, but that's my preference as long as you 2 are happy why does it concern anybody else?. Perhaps you need to lay down the law with your parents before you cut them out.