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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect a 10 year old to finish his biscuit?

132 replies

bananatrifle · 13/02/2012 17:07

I don't mind a child trying anything to see if they like it - it's a good thing in my mind as it widens their taste experiences. Anyway, I always give just a small amount of whatever it is (teaspoonful for example) and if they like it then they can have more. If they don't then nothing's lost.

However, surely a 10 year old should finish a small amaretti (spelling?) biscuit, not eat half of it, try to put it back on the plate and then say he was going to put it in the bin as he didn't like it. I can understand that they're not to everyone's liking, but I think it's rude to just not finish what you've started to eat. It's not a very big biscuit, and I think the principle is to just eat something that you've started.

No big deal really, just wondered what anyone else thought?

OP posts:

Flatbread · 13/02/2012 18:56

I agree with OP. It is about being gracious. For example, my DP is from a different culture and finds some of the food we eat, well, a bit strange. But if he is offered something and he takes it, he will finish what is on his plate.

This does not mean that he overeats at home, but just that he knows how to be a gracious guest.

Eating and finishing something you don't like once in a while to be considerate to your host will not lead to any eating disorders ffs. Good manners need to be taught early on.

RuleBritannia · 13/02/2012 19:03

littlemisssarcastic

People of any age should not spit out anything anywhere. Full stop. The way to remove food from one's mouth is to use a tissue discreetly and dispose of it hygienically - not to spit into a bin.

littlemisssarcastic · 13/02/2012 19:07

Flatbread OP has clearly said this is not limited to guests. She would never allow her DC to spit out food. Ever.

Just out of interest..how do you make a child swallow food they don't want to eat? I don't think you can tbh, so what happens to this food...the poor child is forced to swallow it.

If your DH chooses to eat something he finds strange Flatbread, that is a choice he is making. By not permitting a child to spit out food they don't want to eat, where is the choice? You have taken that away from them.

littlemisssarcastic · 13/02/2012 19:09

RuleBritannia I absolutely agree with that.

MitchieInge · 13/02/2012 19:09

surely it is a bigger waste to eat something you don't like than to throw it away?

he's a child, not a bin

kittik · 13/02/2012 19:12

You could have said, " go and put it on the bird table, they won't mind if you've had a bite."

laptopdancer · 13/02/2012 19:21

I think its a healthy way of approaching food- to try tastes without having to finish things. I never expect my children to finish whats on their plate.

Original poster

bananatrifle · 13/02/2012 19:23

littlemisssarcastic I know I'm not a brilliant cook but I don't think I've ever made my children eat something truly disgusting. There were the usual battles with veg but given in small doses, so yes, I suppose I did make them eat something they didn't like because I'm aware of the health benefits of them eating healthily and not just what they wanted to eat e.g. crisps and chocolate biscuits.

The adults I share my life with wouldn't spit something out. I think we were brought up with the rule that once something (food) goes into your mouth no one else wants to see it come back out, so you swallow it.

OP posts:

ExitPursuedByaBear · 13/02/2012 19:29

BUT - How are you pronouncing 'almond' in your head when reading???

Original poster

bananatrifle · 13/02/2012 19:32

Well - all as in all the biscuit......

Not Al as in Al Green

OP posts:

anonacfr · 13/02/2012 19:49

Well as a teenager I was invited to lunch at a friend's house. Friend's mum served us a lovely piece of sirloin.... except it was calf liver. I'd tried it once before and literally had to spit it out.
However, I was a guest and had been taught it was rude to not eat what was given me.

I hate the whole fucking thing. With a jar of mustard to kill the taste. It was the vilest food experience of my life.

tassisssss · 13/02/2012 19:53

Wow. i might insist on (my own) kids finishing (at least most of) their main course but we operate with the line that puddings and snacks are optional.

crunchbag · 13/02/2012 19:54

So when he said he wanted to try why didn't you break off a piece for him so that you wouldn't mind eating the remainder if he didn't like it.
You said yourself in your OP that you give your dc a small amount to try and if they don't like it nothing lost.

It's a biscuit, he didn't spit it out he just didn't like it, big fuss about nothing.

Original poster

bananatrifle · 13/02/2012 19:59

To break a bit of it off would have been nigh on impossible - it's tiny!!! (As biscuits go).

A bit bigger than a two pence piece.

Sympathies for those who had to eat horse, octopus and liver,

However, I don't think him expecting him to eat the 2nd half of a small biscuit was really so awful, especially as he specifically asked for it having already had his cake. I get that he just wanted to try it, but I hope he doesn't become someone who thinks that it's ok to ask for something then spit it out if it's not to his liking.

OP posts:

BoobyBrown · 13/02/2012 20:05

erm, did he spit it out of his mouth, or was he going to (very sensibly imo) put it in the bin?

The only way spitting would come about, if at all, would be from you forcing him to eat something HE DOES NOT LIKE.

Original poster

bananatrifle · 13/02/2012 20:07

I did not force him.

Again - he asked to have one.

Anyway, enough of this nonsense.

OP posts:

BoobyBrown · 13/02/2012 20:10

You started it

EllenParsons · 13/02/2012 20:16

YABU. If he doesn't like it why should he force himself to eat it

crashdoll · 13/02/2012 21:16

He's a child FFS! Would you rather your guest felt forced to eat something that he really hated? I wouldn't want to go to someone's home if I felt obliged to eat something I didn't like.

LetsKateWin · 13/02/2012 21:32

mrsjay · 13/02/2012 21:39

and thingy biscuit is made from almonds isnt it ? which are vile yabu let him have the biscuits you know he likes or a taste of yours , Its a biscuit no biggie really , If he tried and didnt finish things regular then id be annoyed ,

Molehillmountain · 13/02/2012 21:39

Our rule is try. A small bit is all that is necessary. Then continue if you like and inconspicuously stop if you don't. Absolutely no "yuck" or "it's disgusting" type comments. The child tried, he didn't like, he inconspicuously didn't carry in eating. All fine. Yabu. The rest of the biscuit would have been wasted on him.

SnapesMistress · 13/02/2012 21:51

oikopolis · 13/02/2012 21:52

I like to see children who are able to communicate their likes and dislikes in a reasonable/polite fashion, and set reasonable boundaries. It shows they're sensible and aren't martyrs/people-pleasers.

As you say, it was a tiny biscuit, so him finding he didn't like it, and then not eating the miniscule bit of biscuit as a result, is perfectly reasonable.

It's a delicate balance. Manners are important, but it should also be OK for a child to say "i don't like that", and to have an adult who loves him accept that and not make a massive fuss about it.

Like you say it was a tiny bit of biscuit. So why worry about the "waste"? It seems awfully out-of-proportion. If he had asked you for a large beef fillet, medium-rare, with truffle-butter glaze and a side of imported asparagus, and then had one bite and not wanted the rest, then I could understand caring enough to start a thread about it...

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 13/02/2012 22:06

I wouldn't want a guest, of any age, to eat something they didn't like - no matter how large or small the serving.

It's a biscuit, he didn't spit it out and declare it 'disgusting' he simply didn't eat the remaining tiny bit. Reallly, you do need to get out more if this bothers you.

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