At the prospect of DD dressing up as a Spiderman flower girl?!

[professorsnape]

SIL just got engaged and would like my DD to be her flower girl.

DD, 4 and half, is quite the tomboy, hates wearing dresses, loves boys things, etc. (Sometimes worries me, hope it's just a phase. Also have twin boys, 18 months, so hope it's a reaction to having brothers)

DD hates wearing dresses and said to SIL (not in front of me) that she's like to wear a Spiderman costume instead of a dress. She wants to do Spiderman moves and cartwheels (DD does gymnastics classes) up the aisle instead and walking

SIL, really easy going about it all, is planning an alternative wedding anyway, no white dress, etc and really doesn't mind, and said 'as long as her niece is happy on the day'!!

But I think the whole thing is mad!!!! I could talk her into wearing a dress no problem.

Imagine the faces of the guests when spiderman crawls up the aisle?!
And the official photographs?!!

DD said in that case, he wants to dress up as Robin from Batman and Robin

profsnape - to you it may be lovely to have a day of wearing pretty dress etc, look nice in photos. But maybe not to DD (although I agree she may change her mind in a week or a month!).

When I was getting married, two friends independantly entreated me to wear a white dress because wouldn't I lok back and not regret missing my one chance to dress up like a princess in white? To which the answer to hell, no. I had an amazing not-white dress which I thought was perfect in every way.

Your idea of a wonderful dress may not be hers!

I think you should explain to your DD that it is the bride who gets to choose what her attendants wear

And the bride has said that it is OK.

I think it's great, and your SIL sounds fantastic. PLEASE help her figure out a whole spiderman routine she can do up the aisle, including backflips and cartwheels.

No one is going to forget that wedding in a hurry!

Thanks, AThing - it was :)

Agreed, yellowraincoat, a supportive mum will help DD develop her gymnastic routine! Everybody loves a great show, and what's a wedding if not a show?! (We also had musician friends playing the blues in church.)

DNP I'm absolutely weeping at you having a Hobbit, the most inspired thing I've ever heard!

as a level 2 gymnastics coach I feel duty bound to strongly advise against backflips in the aisle!

But seriously ..please make sure it really is OK with the bride and she's not just trying to keep you all happy.

My flower girl was a dinosaur disguised as a fairy. It was a very convincing disguise: nobody guessed...

Spiderman is cool, the wedding sounds like it's going to be fun.

applepear, I DEMAND pictures!!

Am I the only one thinking that 4 year olds should be made to wear what they're bloody well told to wear?

It's not a child's party, it's a wedding.
Yet another case of over-indulged children ruling the roost.

Oh how that post reminded me of my dds favourite book - and I've just realised that silentboob has linked to it. A Daisy book called Yuk (by Kes Gray), about a little girl who hates the prospect of the bridesmaid dresses and designs her own ninja one! She's my fave kids book heroine.

Sounds fantastic! The only thing that crossed my mind is how outgoing is your lo?- she is going to stand out and get a lot of looks on the day. Talking about dressing up and doing acrobatics down the aisle might be different from actually doing it. Will she revel in the attention or is there a chance she will get massive last minute nerves and chicken out of the idea minutes before the ceremony. I'd have a back up outfit on standby in case this happens. Otherwise please, please take and share photos :)

The phrase "unexpectedly bringing tiny spiderman" has had me in stitches for about 5 minutes. I needed that laugh

In the unlikely event I ever marry again, a Tiny Spiderman is topping my gift list. Must be acrobatic.

Malificence-No you are not the only one.It is supposed to be the bride and groom who are the centre of attention and even if the bride really doesn't mind someone allowing their yr old to dress and behave completely inappropriately i wonder what all the other guests will think of the op

But if the bride and groom are happy about it why the hell should it matter to anyone else? Is there some law that says little girls must wear pretty dresses at weddings? What matters to this B&G obviously is that eveyone enjoys themselves.

It sounds fucking awesome! Go your DD!

I think you need to have a think about your attitude, OP. I reckon your DD has already worked out that being a 'girl' means being passive, obedient and decorative and she has other ideas, which is why she doesn't want to play 'girly games'. Good for her.

I kind of agree malififence - it's not a children's party but a wedding:)

Am going to definitely have a chat with SIL about it all, my feeling is that she IS trying to keep all happy, including DD, which is, quite frankl;y ridiculous (DD is forst grandchild and everyone loves but but don't think it's right for her to ruke roost. Gosh what a strict naughty mammy I sound like!!)

solidgoldbrass you hit on issue been thinking about lots - do we parent with a gender stereotype in mind?? I try not to but damn hard to avoid it

I think a cartwheeling spiderman flower girl sounds fantastic!

opps, that should read 'rule roost' - i blame the st. valentine's wine over dinner x

I do hope your SIL knows someone into rock climbing. Spidergirll needs to descend from the ceiling.

I'm really rather cross at those who've asserted I let the children 'rule the roost' and otherwise spoil my wedding. Their dress and behaviour were NOT inappropriate, thank you very much - at my wedding I decide what's appropriate, not you!

They looked fantastic, filled their roles with enthusiasm and were much admired. I am delighted the children in my family enjoyed being part of my day. If any of our guests were mean-minded enough to pass negative judgement on me for that, I'm glad they kept their cats' bums to themselves.

your DD sounds amazing, as does your SIL. Spideyflowergirl. Love it.