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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so annoyed at dp

37 replies

Willow89 · 12/02/2012 00:07

Dp went off to town today said he would be back in an hour or two that was fine. 4 hours later no sign so I rang to see where he was as dinner was ready said he went to a friends house and was on his way home. Fair enough, then 3 hours later still no sign so I rang again and he is the pub having a few drinks, I was annoyed because he didn't ring to even tell me, I probably would be less annoyed if he had. I am a sahm with Ds all week and dp has weekends off so I like to do things together or even get a little break because he is here. I understand that it's his day off but he had plans to go out with his friends tomorrow! So why do this? Now he is not answering texts or calls and acting as if I've done something wrong!
AIBU?

OP posts:
IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 12/02/2012 00:10

Go out before he gets the chance to tomorrow.

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2012 00:10

YANBU

He sounds rude and thoughtless

pictish · 12/02/2012 00:11

Nah - you're not. But. Just make sure you take yourself off, next opportunity likewise.
If it's a one off, then I'd just expect payment in kind. If it's a habitual thing, then think on.

essexmumma · 12/02/2012 00:24

Agree with the get up early and go out tomorrow comment!! I would be so annoyed if my DH did this.

Original poster
Willow89 · 12/02/2012 00:28

Thanks for that thought I was being a bit of a bunny boiler as I said though I don't mind once I have notice. he is still not home now!! . I am meeting up with some mammies tomorrow in the play centre but after that I will be dropping Ds home and going off for the daySmile

OP posts:
pictish · 12/02/2012 00:31

I would. Or at least, I'd politely take myself off to bed with book, and ask to be disturbed only when dinner is ready.

AgentZigzag · 12/02/2012 00:59

Being bothered that your DP fucked off all day without a word and is now ignoring your texts and calls (Angry) isn't bunny boiler behaviour.

And don't you be letting him turn it round and make you feel like it's your fault either! Cheeky (and probably pissed) bugger.

Good for you getting out tomorrow, let him stew in his alky juices Smile

sickbint · 12/02/2012 01:00

He's acting like a twat.

Original poster
Willow89 · 12/02/2012 08:20

Decided to not come home last nightAngryAngryAngry

OP posts:
Gargula · 12/02/2012 08:38

YANBU. This would really piss me off.

Does this sort of thing happen regularly?

Purplehonesty · 12/02/2012 08:52

Grr. Change locks and cut holes in all his clothes!
Or at least sit him down and explain how annoyed you are with him!
Men!

imoanruby · 12/02/2012 08:55

Did he call to tell you he wasn't coming home?

If not i would be beyond livid!

BlingLoving · 12/02/2012 08:58

Um, this isn't "be pissed off" territory. This is seriously consider what the fuck is going on territory. If he says he's going to town and will be back in a couple of hours but doesn't turn up for four, that's "pissed off" territory. This is so far beyond that Ito selfish, irresponsible, disrespectful behaviour you need to take it very seriously. Has he turned up this morning yet?

Coconutty · 12/02/2012 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

learningtofly · 12/02/2012 09:06

I agree Yanbu at all.

To go awol and not communicate what your plans are is so disrespectful even if you aren't a parent. For me this would be sitting down and having a serious chat territory

bagelmonkey · 12/02/2012 09:10

YANBU. This is not normal behaviour. If you are living with someone you are in a relationship with you let them know when you will be home & what your plans are. You shouldn't have to be chasing him for answers & updates.

Florabella · 12/02/2012 09:13

YANBU - total lack of respect. You need to have a serious chat with him about this. Is this the first tie he has acted like this or is it a regular occurrance?

fedupofnamechanging · 12/02/2012 09:17

Well, if he was mine, I'd be beyond angry. All his stuff would be in bin bags on the lawn. Totally unacceptable behaviour. I get really mad when men who have children, just fuck off out and behave like they are single, in the assumption that the little woman will do their share of the child care etc.

I couldn't live with someone who thinks this is okay behaviour.

my2centsis · 12/02/2012 09:25

:( I would be angry to the point of u probably wouldn't of been able to sleep!! He had been rude and insensiti he certainly had no respect for you lastnight at all. Have you Hurd from him at all?

my2centsis · 12/02/2012 09:26

I hope your able to read that post! typing on phone while bfeeding

Becaroooo · 12/02/2012 09:31

You sure he is with a friend?

Hmm

Sorry but this behaviour would be ringing major alarm bells for me......

MyLifeIsStillChaotic · 12/02/2012 09:33

Disgusting behaviour. What an arse.

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/02/2012 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LydiaWickham · 12/02/2012 09:36

I'd be so angry, it's not the time to himself that's the problem (although, there are 2 days a week for your family that could be 'family time' or 'me time' and he's used over 50% just as 'me time' rather than say, 25% for him, 25% for you and 50% of that time as family time), but that he's refused to discuss his plans, or let you know when they've changed. He's not thought that you might have plans of your own, or that knowing he'd be out all day you could do something else with your time rather than just waiting.

I'd be having some serious words about his lack of respect for you and for your DCs.

anniewoo · 12/02/2012 09:40

Is he seeing someone else?!?!?!