To be so annoyed with D(in this case it stands for dickhead)H and his lack of thought

[EauDeLaPoisson]

He said weeks ago we will go out for valentines tonight as im working on the day. I have asked him several times in the last week if he has arranged a babysitter- his reply 'nah i'll ring your mum and dad' but every day he has 'forgot' to.
So fast forward to today I say 'you havent even sorted a sitter out' so he rings my parents who say no (their choice but they arent particularly helpful). Its like I told him all along, if they dont have adequate notice they wont want to do it. Its like he doesnt give a shit about doing something to make me happy he just bumbles along without any plans thinking everything will fall into his lap. Fucking nob.

Put the kids to be bed, order a takeaway, open the wine, watch a film on sky movies or rent a DVD. Make the best of it now as that's all that's Available today

No im at work Tuesday. Another thing that's my fault- as if he'd rang them Tuesday morning instead the answer would have obviously been yes....

You set him up to fail, we all have our strengths and weaknesses in a good relationship we compliment them and understand them. My dh would be much the same as yours and whilst it's annoying it is just how he is, he has many many other positives so I have to understand that organising a babysitter is up to me. It works both ways. You knew he probably wouldn't organise it and yet you didn't put anything in place so I'd say you were as much to blame.

She didn't set him up to fail! She kept reminding him and he kept forgetting.

YANBU OP, I too have suggested to DH that "x needs to be done" but then when he has not done it it's his own tough titty IMO and he will have missed out on whatever it is. You definitely should not have to do this for DH when he made the original suggestion about going out for Valentines.

I agree with gettingalife, order a takeaway.

Why would you want to go out on Valentines weekend anyway? It will be more expensive than usual, the service will not be as good because it will be so busy. Much better to acknowledge your love for each other randomly throughout the year on non-specified days.

Plus if you go out at another time of the year it will be cheaper :)

Oh and you probably need to find some paid for babysitter which would be more reliable wouldn't it?

I'd also say, that not carrying through something you've promised is a pretty big weakness. But I think I have high expectations of my DH

Bullshit- that's like saying if I don't book the bloody holiday every year that's setting him up to fail!

Probs nothing. My depression has been particularly bad the past couple of weeks so being let down when looking forward to something isn't filling me with joy

So he told you he was organising a nice Valentine's night for you then put together... nothing? No reservations, no planning, no babysitter... So what was he going to do, turn up with you at KFC??

Well yes but he'd prob expect the KFC bucket to just fall in his lap too...

That kind of thing ....picking up the phone? Seriously, it's not rocket science and people with a y chromosome can do it!

Pretty thoughtless of him. If you want someone to babysit for you on Valentine's Day, you have to ask before they make plans for themselves!

At least your DH mentioned valentines day. My OH just avoids it and the night before he will tell me he forgot.

I do agree in essence that it shouldn't be up to you, op to chase him/make sure he called your parents

BUT

You knew he was forgetting to do it
You knew your parents needed plenty of notice & weren't helpful (always a chance they could say no?)
you knew there was no one else who could step in

Sounds like he has form too! You are both responsible for the lack of a night out, him for not doing what he said he would & you for deciding to use a night out to prove a point!

St Valentine's Day is about men being romantic with women

And we want equality?

St Valentine's Day is about men being romantic with women

Like fuck is it!!

Sorry, but that is the largest crock of shit I have ever managed to hear in the whole of my life.

My DP would be bloody furious if I came out with such bollocks.

For Valentines Day I've bought a selection of cheeses, champagne, orange juice, grapes, strawberries, a selection of GU desserts and some squirty cream. On the day I'll be preparing some mini-sandwiches and surprising DP with a picnic. I've also spent a few bob on a lovely silver photo frame, and then cropped and edited a photograph of DP and me at Hay-On-Wye back when I was pregnant!

Only for women, my arse!

"He said weeks ago we will go out for Valentines Day."

But he still expected his wife to make the arrangements. How romantic and loving.

I might make my husband a delicious meal. But I won't go shopping for the ingredients and I'll wait until the shops are shut to start whining about how I couldn't do it because the shops shut too early, it's not my fault etc etc.

And no doubt lots of posters will uphold my position because it's only fair my husband should be falling down with gratitude that I had the idea of making a meal and although I didn't ASK him to buy the ingredients, he's a man so he should have known and been grateful and done it anyway.

Well, I would have gone out with other friends as a point of principle.

I agree, it's annoying when they leave things to you - and St Valentines was just about men being romantic to woman when I was a child too - and actually, if you do feck all organising ofyour social lifes or anything romantic the rest of the year, it's not too much to expect it one night of the year (even better the OP didn't want it on the day so he didnt have to try to get a table on the busiest night of the year).

OP - calm down and then have a conversation about how his lack of effort makes you feel, tell him you'd rather he didn't suggest doing nice things if he's not going to make any effort to make them happen. If he still can't be arsed then you have bigger problems than a night out.

And I'd start asking round for details of other babysitters, other mums should be able to suggest people who are good.