AIBU to be really pissed off with db partner?

[onwardandupwards]

To cut a long story short, db and his partner came round to my house, his partner said she needed the loo and left the room to go, my db went to his car to get some thing, so i went upstairs and found his partner going through my handbag which was on my bed, i asked her what she was doing and she said it fell on the floor and she was picking it up. I am really pissed off with her and thought we were friends. Have not told my db as i am so cross it would end up in a arguement. AIBU to be so pissed off and not want her in my house again?

Errrr YABU to not have told your brother...argument or not.

I am presuming she did not have to go through your bedroom to get to the toilet. If so YANBU I'll admit to someone who avoids confrontation and probably wouldn't have said anything. I wouldn't trust her though.

tell him .she was not in thetoilet and was in an area of the house she had no right going in . my brother and sister would not dream of going in my bedroom likewise unless i was invited i would not go into theirs either

I don't understand why you didn't tell your brother there and then. It's clearly going to cause problems between you and her in any future meetings, and he'll be wondering why.

Didnt tell brother as he thinks sun shines out of her backside and he would of said she was being helpful by picking it up.

I wouldn't have her in my house again and I'd be telling my Dbro why. That's a huge breach of trust and respect, totally out of order.

What was she doing in your bedroom?

And I would be telling your brother as well.

You know she's talking shit. Even if your DB doesn't want to believe you, he needs to be told. She's a brazen hussy and not to be trusted. He may wise up eventually, hopefully before she bankrupts him.

I'd tell him too.

I would probably also ask her, in front of him, why she was in the bedroom in the first place - presumaby she doesn't need to go in there to get to the bathroom? Of course she'll come out with some crap that she was walking past and noticed your bag had fallen over bla di bla - even if that was true she's still crossed a line in my book, and I'd tell her that's why she's not welcome back

You should have told him.

He might think the suns shines out of her arse, but you are not contradicting that opinion.

So the handbag fell on the floor when no-one was in the room and your db's partner happened to be in the room right after it fell and was picking it up?
Tell your db.

I'd have to the brother if it was me, as his girlfriend wouldn't be allowed to set foot in my home again and it's only fair to tell him why that is.

I'd tell him too. What do you think she was up to? Being nosy or nicking stuff?

What did he have to go out for? Is your bedroom in the front of your house < imagination working overtime here>

You have to tell him. You don't have any choice really otherwise you are keeping her horrible little thieving secret.

Maybe I'm soft but as nothing was stolen and she's saying she picked it up off the floor I would do nothing on this ocassion, just in case by some miracle she's telling the truth.

I highly doubt it and would be watching her. It COULD possibly have been genuine.

Do not generally not trust her anyway? Were you suspicious? Just wandering why you went upstairs... not that you're not allowed to!

I'd see it as a massive warning sign.

Did she need to go past the bag area to go to the loo?

I was wondering if his trip outside, to the car, was going to coincide with her chucking your purse/phone whatever, out the window to him. No idea why I'm thinking he would be complicit in this kind of thing. Just strikes me as odd they both suddenly disappeared at same time

Think it's just me!

Hmm I'm a wuss so would be not wanting to tell him but I certainly would not have her back!

The very fact that he thinks the sun shines out of her rear end would make it all the more reason to tell him about the other side of her I'd have thought. There is absolutely no way that a guest in anyone's home should go into any of the bedrooms if they have gone upstairs to use the toilet. End of. Whether she was stealing or being nosey is irrelevant IMO, she just shouldn't have been in the bedroom.

If what she said was true and she saw the bag on the bedroom floor from the landing, she should have left it there but told you where it was on her return downstairs.

Anyway, why didn't she hear you going upstairs and get out of the bedroom fast?

What are you going to tell him next time though?

When he wants to bring her to visit and you say no?

Or when you let her come but follow her about hiding the family silver?

Or when she makes up some reason to avoid you that makes you look like the bad one? Or tells him her version "...your sister doesn't even like me, she accused me of going through her bag last time..."

And is she does that last one, he's going to think it is suspicious that you caught her and kept quiet about it. He will say that if you are telling the truth you would have said so at the time.

I think if this is the first inkling of mistrust I ever had I would let it go and log it in that memory compartment we all have for 'suspicious things'.

If she does something completely and utterly beyond reasonable doubt, the you open that compartment and put the pieces together to build your 'case'.

There's too much doubt in this, and too much hurt that could be caused to take decisive action. That may mean you'll be actually robbed before you take action, but with family that's a chance I'm willing to take (if you're close otherwise).

How close are you to db? If it were one of my sisters I'd absolutely tell them, but then we trust each other.

She was probably looking for a sanitary towel