AIBU about my mums new dog...Staffordshire Bull Terrior??

[M0naLisa]

Long story short....
Mums other dog which she had for 7yrs died in November, she said she wouldnt get another as didnt want to replace him, But this last week shes gone and bought a Staffordshire Bull Terrior, Its just to keep her company when Stepdad on nights...im guessing!!! As she said when other dog died that she missed the company at night, him laying on her feet etc etc She didnt walk the last one and she wont walk this one. Sister walked the last one until the novelty wore off and i did the rest of the walking when i was available to do it. Sisters walking him now but for how long? 5 days, 2 weeks, 1 month??? until the novelty wares off and she cant be bothered no more.

Anyway i went to see it the other day and it barks....alot!!
She has 3 grandchildren aged 2, 3 and 5 - the 3 & 5 yr olds are my DS'.

Would you let your children round a dog that no one knows what is like, she got it from a family who said its friendly but they didnt 'have the time for him'

Which is what everyone selling a dog says...how do we know the dogs not bit one of the kids at the home its come from. Kids aged 3 and 7 at the previous home.

We were there on Wednesday night and the dog was begging for food whilst mum and sister was eating (mum thinks its been in a cage in a garden due to the behaviour food wise) - sister lives over the road but slept at mums for the last 4 nights (think shes trying to worm her way back home so that mum will look after her son whilst she sits on her phone all day) Anyway the dog was begging and sister kept smacking it on the nose and shouting 'NO GO TO BED'

Now my MIL is a dog lover and i asked her about this specific breed and she said she personally wouldn't have that breed around kids as its from he pit bull family.

We are there tomorrow night for a little get together for sisters birthday and i know mums going to want the boys over the school holidays in 2 weeks and with the dog am i right to say 'No'?

What would you do/say?

Breed is irrelevant. A nice dog is a nice dog whatever coat it wears. A nasty dog is a nasty dog whatever sort it is.
I worked at a vets for a while. Of the dogs I worked with the most gorgeous and soppy of the lot was a rottweiler - she used to lean against you and close her eyes when you were doing things like taking blood - soppiest creature I have ever met. The worst was a golden retriever - put three staff members in A&E with bites. So don't get caught up in the trap of thinking that the dog is going to be any nicer/nastier based only on the breed.

Go on facts. You don't know the dog yet. So no, don't leave your kids alone with it. Perhaps explain to your mum you don't wants your sons staying there while the dog is still so new - apart from anything else the dog needs time to adjust, and you need to feel confident that your boys will be properly supervised.

I think there are other issues surrounding the care for the dog but it's not your animal so there's no point in listing what should happen - sounds like you know the dog needs regular walks, proper training etc but don't think your mum will do it. I think that needs saying to her, the dog needs proper care and attention, but that wasn't your question. No, in your situation, I wouldn't leave children there. Not because of the breed, but because I don't think the dog is being properly managed (smacking on the nose and shouting at him, for example - has he been trained to understand what he's supposed to do even?) and that together with not knowing him would make me uneasy.

I wouldn't be happy for my children to be around a dog I don't know, especially if the dog has just been passed on from another family and the new owners are, to put it mildly, a bit clueless when it comes to dogs.

Staffies are great dogs in the right hands - unfortunately it doesn't sound like this poor thing is in the right hands.

I don't know much about dogs at all but common sense would lead me to believe that potentially this dog could be dangerous around small children mostly because you do not know the background of how the dog was treated by previous owners.

Best thing to do would be never to leave dcs alone unsupervised with the dog untill you have known it for a bit longer/found out if it did have any problems with previous owners.

Hopefully he/she will turn out to be a lovely family pet and there will be no issues whatsoever but untill the initial settling in period is over and you know the dogs behaviour a bit better i would just be extra careful when dcs are near it .

Staffs can be excellent family dogs given the right socialisation and training. What was your mum's previous dog like? Did she socialise it around kids?

The begging thing isn't great - it should be discouraged, but there are far better ways of doing it.

The barking is a red herring. Staffies are vocal. Not just barking, but a whole vocabulary of grunts, squeaks and whines.

I'm not sure what to make of your op, to be honest. Is the problem with your mum's dog ownership skills, or are you just anxious about your sister's influence?

I don't think the breed is an issue.

The problem is that your mum/sister are crap dog owners. That is what would worry me - crap owners and an unknown dog.

My staffie cross adores my grandson (18m) and is the softest cuddliest dog on the planet! She does not have a single aggresive bone in her body. She was also a rescue and had been neglected.

Both TheSmallChanger
Mums old dogh which was lovely, he was brought home from 8 weeks so grew up with me and my sister in our teens, was very protective over my boys, loved them to bits.

My sister isnt helping, she thinks that smacking a dog on the nose is training it not to beg which it isnt i know that and i dont know a great lot about dogs.

Mum doesnt know alot about dogs either and i think she only got it because shes missing her old dog.

But what can i do?! i dont live their, but i will be telling my sister that smacking the dog on the nose isnt the best way of training the dog not to beg and if she asks for food on saturday night il smack her on the nose - see if she likes it

its the dog i feel sorry for cos i know the walks wont last forever and it will end up just going in the garden with mum stood behind it with a nappy bag :(

I love dogs. I don't think staffies are any more dangerous than any other breed. A dog is a dog is a dog.

I wouldn't leave my child alone with any dog - whether I knew the dog or not. You don't know what the child will do to the dog which the dog would see as an attack and ANY kind of dog will respond as a dog would. I'd feel the same whether the dog was a Lab, a Poodle, a Yorkshire Terrier, a Shar Pei or a Staff.

I feel sorry for the dog to be honest, being taken in by someone who you don't think is going to bother walking it. I don't think your DSis smacking it is appropriate either :(

My parents had a staffie and he was wonderful around their grandchildren HOWEVER it is the owners of the dog that dictate the behaviour of the dog and it sounds as if your mother and sister are totally crap at looking after/training dogs. Can you perhaps arrange for it to be re homed with people who are actually capable of looking after it properly.

Can you buy them a book on dog training - as a present perhaps - if you think they may read it and pay attention to what it says? Can't think offhand of any that may be suitable as the books I read on the subject are more science based and a bit deep.

Staffies can be wonderful, and tend to be very people orientated - but children should be supervised with any dog regardless. If your mum can't commit to giving the dog a good home with proper training and walks its a disaster waiting to happen which you know already :(

I remember a dog trainer I respect telling me this was a good book for puppy owners. I think it also is good for older dogs. I stand to be corrected though. Its the Perfect Puppy by Gwen Bailey

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/060061722X/?tag=googhydr-21&hvadid=4945069595&ref=pd_sl_2hh2862ezh_b

The breed doesn't matter.

What matters is the dog being well trained and socialised so he is safe with children.

Tell your mum pleasantly that there is no way your children will be with the dog until:

• you have all got to know the dog's personality
• the dog has been trained

You could point out to your mum that it's really unlikely that the dog is going to end up as the kind of dog you will trust your children around if

• he is smacked, shouted at instead of being properly trained
• he is not exercised enough

Tell her to get these things sorted, and get your sister's ridiculous 'tap on the nose' nonsense knocked on the head. Otherwise, the likelihood is that she'll end up looking after a bored, snappy, aggressive dog while her grandchildren are kept at a distance.

Id give the dog a stroke and think nothing of it

Breed is irrelevant (however I will say that SBTs are the only dog I feel comfortable around and that Im comfortable to be around the DCs)

Put what you have read in the papers in a little box and bury it. Give it a chance, they are wonderful dogs.

As owner of a staffy, they are "people" dogs, who are usually fine with kids and adults, but can have problems with other dogs. Mine is well bought up, well socialised and absolutely fine with ALL other animals(including cats, rabbits and iguanas!) as well as kids and adults.
HOWEVER- If it has a food related problem, you need to watch if it is food guarding. Also DOGS NEED EXERCISE- it will need to go out for walks to burn off energy, or it can become disruptive and destructive (I didnt get a chance to walk mine 1 day last week, DH though I had, and also didnt walk her - result- 1 welly boot entirely "modified" to be a universal fit!)
Finally, the do needs to be fully assessed for its socialisation and behaviour, your mums vet will advise her on where to get it done, or contact the RSPCA or NCDL and they will help.

YABU to have stipulated the breed of the dog.

ANY breed of dog can be dangerous in the wrong hands, from the smallest fluffiest dog to the biggest dog.

It's not the breed you need to worry about.

You don't know where the dog came from or how it's been treated. This YANBU to worry about.

Staffs think they're humans and as another poster said, talk a lot! My dog has always been a barker but has never shown any aggression. Staffs are known ad "Nanny dogs" and are very good with kids.

only read the op but I have a staffy, and she's the most wonderful dog, she's soft as anyhthing, always there, usually asleep likes a bone and most importantly loves the kids.

however i've had her since she was 8 weeks old ( now nearly 9), I know her around ds (6). for me I wouldn't rescue a staffy and have it around my children, as unfortunately where we live there's a lot of 'status' bogs, and stupid little boys who think it's good to stand in a group and throw staffy males at each other trying to entice fighting, so for this reason I wouldn't rescue a staff here, however I would have another one from a puppy which I could train myself.

it's not the breed it's the owners & likewise what happened to the rescue dog before.

off to read back now. also bear in mind any dog can turn on a child - my ex MIL's yorkies were awful and snappy with ds, so don't judge the breed.

As others have said its not the breed but the dogs temperament and training. I wouldn't leave a child alone with any dig I didn't know.
As for the barking my staffy is particularly vocal too, all manner of grunts, squeaks and grumbles. He also barks on a night at me if he's not been out for a walk in he day.
The dog needs training, staffys are also notoriously hard headed so tapping and hitting is no deterrent.

Slight hijack, have any of the staffy owners found any toys that aren't broken within 5 mins?

dogs not bogs lol.

peanut - rope balls or rubber balls, our girl loves teddys but they're destroyed in 10 minutes. :)

I've started a thread in chat
He picks apart rope balls and scatters thread around the room

Your sister needs to fucking well stop hitting that dog on the nose right now. That is abuse. Plus it's teaching the dog that humans = pain which is what might make it snap one day. I stress 'might', dogs put up with an awful lot from us.

Your mum needs to go to a training class ASAP in order to be trained herself in positive training techniques and she needs to start treating that poor animal with love and affection rather than allowing your sister to hit it.

Peanut - one of those Kong things, they are rubber toys in weird shapes. Pets at Home sell them, pretty expensive for a dog toy but worth every penny.

We dont do rubber balls, they are shredded within minutes, but like Davidtennant my girl loves her teddy bears, she has two and she sucks the ears like a dummy

i would say no

one the dog does not seem to be trained that well and secondly no matter how well a dog is kept dogs as well as humans can act out of character a child woudl not stand a chance if attacked

no matter how many people go on that they are great family dogs, they are given bad press (really so a poodle killing a child would not be in the news) it can not be denied and always be put down to poor keeping that rotties, staffs (and a few other brreds) are the dogs that have killed children it is fact. they have the strength that an adult woudl struggle to fight against why have a dog of such strength around young children

And yes, I would keep your DC away from a dog that has been treated in an abusive aggressive way, until it's settled down with your mum and she is treating it properly.

Staffies are actually one of the only breeds recommended as being great with children. They get such a bad rep cos of all the scumbags that train them to be nasty. Bad owner = bad dog. We have a staffie and she is the lovliest, most gentle and affectionate dog you could ever want. They don't actually need that much walking, even 4 times a week is enough. Our staffie is extremely lazy and we do have a big backyard though....

However, I think the issue is not in the breed, but the dog's previous situation. I would be wary as you do not know whether it was treated badly and therefore might not be suitable to be around children. Your sister hitting it probably doesn't help either....

I wouldnt stop your kids going over there if there was proper supervision and you could see how the dog was reacting to them.