Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about my mums new dog...Staffordshire Bull Terrior??

60 replies

M0naLisa · 10/02/2012 12:27

Long story short....
Mums other dog which she had for 7yrs died in November, she said she wouldnt get another as didnt want to replace him, But this last week shes gone and bought a Staffordshire Bull Terrior, Its just to keep her company when Stepdad on nights...im guessing!!! As she said when other dog died that she missed the company at night, him laying on her feet etc etc She didnt walk the last one and she wont walk this one. Sister walked the last one until the novelty wore off and i did the rest of the walking when i was available to do it. Sisters walking him now but for how long? 5 days, 2 weeks, 1 month??? until the novelty wares off and she cant be bothered no more.

Anyway i went to see it the other day and it barks....alot!!
She has 3 grandchildren aged 2, 3 and 5 - the 3 & 5 yr olds are my DS'.

Would you let your children round a dog that no one knows what is like, she got it from a family who said its friendly but they didnt 'have the time for him'

Which is what everyone selling a dog says...how do we know the dogs not bit one of the kids at the home its come from. Kids aged 3 and 7 at the previous home.

We were there on Wednesday night and the dog was begging for food whilst mum and sister was eating (mum thinks its been in a cage in a garden due to the behaviour food wise) - sister lives over the road but slept at mums for the last 4 nights (think shes trying to worm her way back home so that mum will look after her son whilst she sits on her phone all day) Anyway the dog was begging and sister kept smacking it on the nose and shouting 'NO GO TO BED'

Now my MIL is a dog lover and i asked her about this specific breed and she said she personally wouldn't have that breed around kids as its from he pit bull family.

We are there tomorrow night for a little get together for sisters birthday and i know mums going to want the boys over the school holidays in 2 weeks and with the dog am i right to say 'No'?

What would you do/say?

OP posts:
davidtennantsmistress · 10/02/2012 14:01

fraud - blame the owner NOT the breed all dogs can turn nasty all dogs can kill, the sort of owner who has a dog who's attacked a child thats been in the press for example is a 'typical owner of the breed' who has that specific dog for agression/status/to protect their selves - owners like that shouldn't be allowed any dog - in the wrong environment even a labrador can turn (as I know after being pinned to the wall by one who was attacking my german sheppard in our garden)

MrsClown · 10/02/2012 14:03

I have kept dogs all my life. When my children were small I had a border collie who was adorable. However, she did not like children at all. She never bit one but I never left her alone with children. She was not agressive with them just a bit nervous. I dont think any dog should be left alone with children under any circumstances, no matter how soft the dog is. A child may pull its tail or do something by accident. The dog will not forget and may bite, even if it is a few days later.

Regarding the breed. I have a toy poodle. He is lovely but does not like other dogs. My friend has a staffy who is scared stiff of my poodle and my other friend has a long haired german sheperd who is also soft as a brush. The breed doesnt really matter, it all depends on the dog.

Teach your children how to respect animals. Teach them that animals have the same feelings as us and feel pain and fear. Accept that a dog shouldnt be left alone with children. IMO children can only gain from having contact with animals in the right circumstances as long as responsible adults are in control.

I know this is classed as shouting but I feel so strongly about it:
NEVER, NEVER HIT A DOG. I trained a border collie who had been kept in a cupboard for 2 years and never been on a lead. The 1st thing she did the 1st time I took her out was nip a policeman on the bottom! She didnt do any damage thank God. I trained her up to show standard she ended up being the best dog I ever had and my best friend. Do not shout and do not use fear. that dog would have done anything for me. A training class would be the best option and trust me, any dog trainer will advise against hitting a dog. You will end up with 2 options: a dog who is head shy and cowers everytime you go near it or a dog who only does as it is told through fear and may bite at some point.

randommoment · 10/02/2012 14:08

I'm getting quite cross with your mum and sister, they are not doing that poor dog any favours and I can't see this ending well. Any dog treated the way they're going on is going to end up having 'ishoos', let alone whatever baggage it may have brought from its previous home.

Gribble · 10/02/2012 14:08

Freud - its not the breed it is how they are 'brought up' and trained that can make any dog dangerous.

StrandedBear · 10/02/2012 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudianSlipper · 10/02/2012 14:15

so are staffs the only dogs that are treated badly no, are they the only dogs that are neglected no so why do we have such a problem with certain breeds

and there have been cases where the dog has been well trained and looked after, dogs like humans at times act out of character instincts kick in and for whatever reason they attack and sadly it has been fatal on too many occasions because of their strength and maybe because of what they have been breed for they attack to kill (not sure about this but other dog breeds you often hear of them biting people but not attacking in such a way)

Animation · 10/02/2012 14:20

Well I'd be worried OP, and annoyed with the mother - and keep my kids away.

southeastastra · 10/02/2012 14:24

if staffies are so wonderful, how come our local rspca has more of those than any other sort of dog?

Gribble · 10/02/2012 14:27

In every single story of a 'staff attack' there has been something not right with the scenario or story IMO. Also alot of the stories say "Staffordshire Bull Terrier type dog", probably so they can print the same boring pic of that sandy coloured massive headed SBT in a snarling "I'll eat your kids" pose.

Yes they are strong, so are alot of dogs.

StrandedBear · 10/02/2012 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gribble · 10/02/2012 14:30

SEA - again, because people buy into the hysteria in a "oh our SBT licked my child so it has a taste of skin, hes got to go" kind of way. Or knobs who want a snarling beast and find they actually have a dog who would prefer to snuggle on the sofa. And people who dont really know about them believe all the nonsense so are put off getting them. Overbreeding is another reason.

D0oinMeCleanin · 10/02/2012 14:32

Over breeding, South. There are quite simply more Staffs than any other breed of dog in our country at the moment. They, due to no fault of their own, became the dog of choice for the muppets. The muppets saw them as a great money spinner and bred and bred and bred from them until the dog world was literally saturated with unwanted Staffies.

It's a viscous circle for the poor dogs because they end up in massive numbers in pounds and rescues accross the country, they end up being publicised in a bad light purely because they are the dog of choice of aforementioned muppets, which leads to folk like yourself wrongly assuming there must be something wrong with them and over looking them for arguably less suitable family breeds.

The tables are turning at the moment and very shortly you will see rescues full of northern breeds like the Husky, Akita and Malamute Sad The reputation of these beautiful will breeds will soon go the same way as the staff.

LittleWhiteWolf · 10/02/2012 14:37

YABU to be so bothered by the fact that its a SBT. They are gorgeous dogs IMO, but then I've only known ones owned by good, sensible dog owners.

YANBU to be wary of a new dog, any dog, around your children. That is a sensible concern and you should not leave them alone with the dog, regardless of its breed.

NoodleBugs · 10/02/2012 14:38

YABU for appearing to dislike staffies so much. Staffs are wonderful family dogs when trained well. Ours has been amazing with our now 9 month old DS (as I knew she would be) and has never contemplated eating him. They are by far my favourite breed!

YANBU for expecting the dog to be trained, and for supervising your children with any unknown dog.

Please stop the staffy/pit bull hype. It's silly and ignorant.

NoodleBugs · 10/02/2012 14:39

X-post Wolf, but great minds and all that... Grin

MsF1t · 10/02/2012 14:42

Flisspaps (?) and Rhinestone are on the money.

We have an Alsatian/Rottweiler cross: she is a very soppy (but barky) dog, but we don't ever leave her alone with our daughter, and never will. We did a lot of research when we found out I was expecting and really tried to minimise the impact on the dog and do our best to help her to adjust, especially as she was a rescue so prone to being more insecure.

We actually had trouble with some old neighbours because they didn't like dogs- they reported her to the police as a dangerous dog because she was a 'Rottweiler' and suggested she should be put to sleep. My blood still boils...

FreudianSlipper · 10/02/2012 14:44

you cannot make it sound more horrific than it is a child being attacked and killed by a dog that is what is horrific not what breed it is it is horrifying news, then when you read on and find out what breed the dog is many question why have this dog when this has happened time and time again, something within that breed of dog (or a few breeds) when badly treated, neglected (though not always) causes them to attack in such a ferocious way, why is this not happening with other breeds (could it be for what they were breed for, bear baiting)it is not sensational news because the dog is of a certain breed it is shocking because a child has been killed in such an horrific way

WhereYouLeftIt · 10/02/2012 14:45

I find myself depressed by this thread.

OP; your mother, your sister and your MIL are idiots. Your mother is an idiot because she acquires a dog so casually and with no intention of exercising/training the poor thing. Your sister is an idiot because she smacks the dog and thinks that is training. (It's not. It's cruel.) Your MIL because she thinks a Staffie is "from the pit bull family". The term 'pit bull' generally applies to American Pit Bulls, a very different animal, bred for fighting.

It is a terrier, originally bred in the era when cock fighting, bear baiting etc. were considered entertaining. As human ideas of entertainment changed, breeders selected for different traits and they became bred as companions. Some traits have remained, hence SBTs can be a bit aggressive to other dogs (which they were previously bred to do). They are generally very good with humans. Wikipedia has a good description of them.

bejeezus · 10/02/2012 15:18

Haven't read entire thread, but have a lot of exp with dogs;

Staffies are generally very very good with children but often aggressive with other dogs. The problemis that they are very strong with powerful jaws, so if the do become aggressive they can cause a lot of damage.

Also, if the dog begs from the table, that is most likely to be learnt behaviour I.e. previous owners fed it tidbits from their plates

Can your mum/sister take the dog to classes?

higamoushogamous · 10/02/2012 16:44

I have owned dogs from several breeds over the years, a collie cross, standard longhaired dachshund and a Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen. I now have a Staffie. I adopted him from a home because I felt sorry for him. The best thing I have ever done, he has the best temprament of any dog I have owned and is the mildest mannered. I have no idea where he spent the first 9 years of his life, but he was threadbare and had scars on his nose and had hardly any teeth so he had not been well looked after. If you treat them well these dogs really are the bestest friend to a human, please don't be prejudiced against them.

Original poster
M0naLisa · 10/02/2012 17:35

If it wasnt for stories in the paper then i wouldnt think that cos i know every dog can turn if not treated correctly.

I told my mum last night that sister needs to stop smacking him and she didnt seem to say much!!! But im there on saturday and if she smacks it then il kick off!!!

OP posts:
KD0706 · 10/02/2012 18:01

freud I think lots of breeds attack but it's a 'better' story and attracts more publicity when it's a staffy 'type' dog.

My DH was attacked when younger by a red setter. Not life threatening but he still has the scars.
My granny's neighbour's west highland terrier savaged a baby to death.

Those are the only examples I personally know of (don't know any staffy attack stories personally), but I think it gives a flavour that other breeds can and do attack, we just maybe don't hear so much of it.

peanut (I think it was who asked about toys). Pets at home do soft teddy type toys with no stuffing in them, which our staffy loved, and which lasted longer than most toys.

ddubsgirl · 10/02/2012 19:46

We have a staffy cross daftest thing ever! He adores my kids isnt so sure on little ones but when dh cousin was here with her twins he stayed out the way and when he felt more sure he came in for cuddles and had a 'snog' lol baby & dog licked each other! Your sister needs to stop hitting on the nose it can cause alot of damage to the nose.

troisgarcons · 10/02/2012 21:10

Staffries look agressive, butthey are known as the "Nurse Dog" because of their dopey soft temperament and general all round softness with children.

glenthebattleostrich · 10/02/2012 21:51

My brother has a staffie and a Jack Russel. The Jack Russel had to be rehomed because he attacked my DN, he had to have 3 stitches on his face. DN was sleeping when the JR bit him so it wasn't provoked. I'd have a staffie tomorrow if I had the time to dedicate to looking after a dog.