A couple of days ago, a friend of mine confided in me that she is pregnant, and that she has no choice but to terminate the pregnancy. The situation with her ex/exes is complicated, she has just started a new but unstable job, and she has just moved back in with her mum. She is obviously really upset at the whole situation. She has a doctors appointment this afternoon to discuss this, but from what I can gather she is about 5 weeks. I have known this girl all my life and although we are like chalk and cheese, we have always been good friends. I feel I am the only person she really trusts, and am the only one she has told about this.
She has said she will come to see me after her appointment this afternoon. Initially she was quite upset but determined 'deal with it' (her words), and never to tell anyone. I tried to remain neutral and was supportive of her decisions. But we have been exchanging emails, and a couple of times she has asked the dreaded question- 'what would you do?'. I glossed over with supportive statements about how it's her own decision, and not to allow other people's opinions to affect you blah blah. But I know she will ask again when I see her...
...Honestly? We are so different and in such different positions I find it hard to imagine myself living her life. What should she do? Whatever she will feel happiest with in the long term, but how can you really know that? What would I do? Well, I have a DD who is 8mths old and a wonderful DH, have never been in a toxic relationship and am generally content with my life. But imagining myself the best I can in her position, single and with an unwanted pregnancy, I still think I would end up keeping the baby. But that's me, and looking at my beautiful daughter, I couldn't think anything else. I really don't know what she should do, so I don't want to guess and upset her.
So, in my long winded way, I'm asking if it would be reasonable to try and refuse to get into a discussion about what I would do. Or would it be better to tell her how I feel about it (even though it's an abstract idea to me and irrelevant to her situation), or better to lie and tell her what I think she wants to hear i.e.- I would do the same, without question.
I just want to be supportive, but am starting to feel the burden of responsibility. Anyone with experience, please help me be a better friend.