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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it weird to get anniversary gifts and cards for another couple

30 replies

McHappyPants2012 · 10/02/2012 09:11

unless it is a big anniversary like silver.

OP posts:
crustyonion · 10/02/2012 09:20

No YANBU. That's plain weird.

cheekyseamonkey · 10/02/2012 09:22

Depends. A card, maybe, if it was say bridesmaid, best man (but then our best man didn't get us a present or card on the day so I'd be shocked!!!).
My parents get us a card, I think it's to make me feel bad about never remembering theirs! But as I point out, they didn't invite me :)

It's kind, but I wouldn't say it's that usual or necessary.

On balance YABU & ungrateful To think it's weird, but then I think it's a bit weird too.

SharkBite · 10/02/2012 09:22

I buy 2 very good friends anniversary cards, as they do for us, oh and also my parents (mainly for my mum as dad doesnt bother Hmm)

Not presents though.

valiumredhead · 10/02/2012 09:22

It's nice,although not something i ever remember to do, but I know lots of people who do.

mummymccar · 10/02/2012 09:22

YANBU. If somebody bought us something for our anniversary I'd think that was a bit odd. If they really want to acknowledge it then maybe a text to wish the couple a nice day if they have plans is sufficient.

Waspie · 10/02/2012 09:23

YANBU. It's just odd.

rhondajean · 10/02/2012 09:23

It's not weird. No weirder than birthday presents. It may be unusual, but it's certainly not weird.

Tbh, given th choice, I'd rather people got em anniversary than birthday presents cos I had a bit of Input in that one, unlike being born.

cheekyseamonkey · 10/02/2012 09:24

I should also say, we got about 20 1st anniversary cards. Mostly thanking us again for a lovely day etc. But since than, just the folks.

mummymccar · 10/02/2012 09:24

My reply was written with a random person in mind not somebody close like parents, siblings, or members of the wedding party btw. Not weird for them to send something but would be weird for neighbour to do so!

mrsjay · 10/02/2012 09:25

I dont think you should get aniversary cards for other people as you say its a special one , I get a card from my dh and my mum thats it , I did get 1 for my friend on her first aniversary i was her matron on honour so i thought i should , I think its a day for the couple , i dont think yabu ,

upahill · 10/02/2012 09:26

Blimey, We don't usually remember our own anniversary until the day is nearly over!!

I wouldn't expect anyone to know when mine was let alone send a card!!

mrsjay · 10/02/2012 09:28

its mine next month and i am trying to remember how many years we have been married before i get a card Grin i think its 16

Original poster
McHappyPants2012 · 10/02/2012 09:29

it's not my anniversary btw.

it was someone over the school moaning that nobody remembered there anniversary and they didn't get a card

OP posts:
Waspie · 10/02/2012 09:30

Blimey, I can't remember the dates my friends and family got married Shock My mum demands a card each year and tells me a week in advance to make sure I remember.

If it's a "special" one, and there's to be a party then I'll get a gift and card of course but not otherwise.

I see cards as pretty much pointless and a waste of money whatever the occasion though.

mrsjay · 10/02/2012 09:32

mchappypants i find that strange Its the couples day not for everybody and their cat to remember is it ?

cheekyseamonkey · 10/02/2012 09:34

Ooh, mchappy in that context, the moan is v weird!

WilsonFrickett · 10/02/2012 09:34

No, that is BU. I send cards to two couples that I was bridesmaid for (if I remember) but I would send to anyone else. Did they mean 'nobody' or did they really mean 'DH'?

WilsonFrickett · 10/02/2012 09:35

wouldn't

OnlyANinja · 10/02/2012 09:38

An anniversary is only of interest to the people involved, I think.

LoonyRationalist · 10/02/2012 09:54

I buy a card for our best friends, I was bridesmaid & DH best man. I think that if we were close enough to share such a big part of their day with us then it is the least I can do to celebrate it's anniversary with them.

I've also bought cards for first anniversaries and then special ones for those close to me, brother, PIL etc.

Otherwise I agree it is only important to the couple

My parents have been seperated for 30 years, though not officially divorced. They are still friends & visit us together regularly. Last year would have been their 35th wedding anniversary & they (jokingly I think Hmm ) requested a party. Now that would have been weird!

crustyonion · 10/02/2012 11:05

I think WilsonFrickett has hit the nail on the head: Did they mean 'nobody' or did they really mean 'DH'?

They were moaning about their DH.

OnlyANinja · 10/02/2012 11:12

I think it's nice to give an anniversary card to someone.

I would never do it myself.

It's definitely weird to expect an anniversary card from anyone other than the person you share the anniversary with.

OhTheConfusion · 10/02/2012 11:18

It was a very good friends anniversary during the week and I know that her and her DH are so tight for cash at the minute they couldn't afford to do anything. It was also her DH's birthday and having no money for gifts was getting her down so I sent a card and a bottle of fizz Blush

Perhaps I shouldnt have...

EmpireBiscuit · 10/02/2012 11:18

If I was important enough to them to be at their wedding, then they are important enough to me to send them a card.

I don't think it's weird.

deliciousdevilwoman · 10/02/2012 11:19

My PIL's always give us a card with a generous cheque in. Lovely of them. We get other cards from random friends/family but most don't, and I don't think it's unusual.
We send PIL's a card, and last year for their anniversary, paid for them to have a weekend in a nice hotel....also served as a "thank you" for support given.