to leave my 12 yr old home alone for 2 (short) days in the school holidays so I can work?

[lottielou39]

she's 12. She'd be home alone for 2 short days (8.30-2.30) and is too old for holiday clubs and point blank refuses to consider idea of childminder. This would only be in school holidays and only 2 days. Is she too young? My friends are in 2 camps- those who think it's fine and those who think she's too young to be left home alone for 6 hours. I don't know what to do, is far easier arranging childcare for my baby!

Zombie thread people.

Seems fine to me. Some simple instructions re. safety, and maybe make a little fuss of her. But I don't see an issue with it. She can ring you on mobile, etc.

Sometimes its not ideal, but needs must and when mothers have important commitments, thats the reality of it.

We have done this a couple of times recently. DD is 12 in Y8.

She wasn't actually home alone for 6 hours as the last time she went out shopping with a friend for at least 4 of them, and I think a group of them went to the park for most of the day the other time. I bet your DD will have things to do with friends too, so it won't be a long lonely day

It's fine.

My oldest is 11 and I would expect that, at 12 he'd be fine alone, as long as you have gone over possible scenarios and are confident she's sensible.

If she is happy with the arrangement, she will be fine.

When I leave my DS alone I tell him not to do any stunts on his scooter, go bike and not to go on the tramolene. I leave a packed lunch so he doesn't decide to cook (not that he isn't capable of safely cooking)He doesn't like to be left alone that long though, as he is nervous of burglars .

Can she contact you at work in case of emergency?

DS (12) asked to spend a day on his own to 'do his own thing' this holiday. I let him. He had a whale of a time.

My rules are no cooking, no opening the door, only answer the phone if you have heard it is me on the ansaphone, ring strsaight away if there is a problem. It has been occasional for short spells since ten, and regular with longer spells since 11. My children love being left home alone- I never leave them together though, they are much more sensible individually

How does your DD feel about it?
Has she been on her own before?

YANBU

8.30 til 2.30 is hardly any time at all, especially if she is anything like most nearly-teenagers. By the time she gets up she will only have a couple of hours before you get home.

Why not try leaving her for shorter periods at the weekends in the time between now and then to see if she likes it/hates it/is sensible?

I was doing this from about eleven and I loved it - seriously the sense of freedom to just sit all day with no noise and do whatever I liked was SUCH A LUXURY. I know rules are different now and we infantilise kids for a lot longer but I think if she is sensible and you maybe try it for a few hours at a time to start with you will be delighted with her.

I think it would be fine but I'd build up to a bit ie leave her for 1 hr, 3 hrs etc and see how she gets on... I do this with my son, 12, only child. You have to let them grow up too, gain independence

I'm going to be in this situation next year at least some of the time - there is a 9 to 14 holiday club the rest of the time which has some exciting stuff so will use that too.

I think DD1 will be fine, she is a mature 11 now and we are talking about a full year down the line - I think the OP's DD will be fine too.

When I was 12, I cycled 5 miles to school and back every day and let myself in because my mum had just gone back to fulltime teaching. In the holidays my sister and I would pretty much do what we wanted and go where we wanted (usually the local pool).

Children are too wrapped in cotton wool these days.

This is quite normal
Leave her a list of telephone numbers and see if a friendly neighbour is willing to be there if she needs help

I leave DD1-12 home alone during the holidays and she is fine. She is also able to cook. It does depend on the child. I couldn't leave DS2-15 home alone but I'm sure I could leave DD2-9 home alone for that long by the time she's 12.

I'm betting those who think she's too young have other options available to them (they are SAHM, or have grandparents available, etc.) and don't have to consider doing this.

i came home after school and let myself in from 11. I was also alone at home all day in the holidays. From 8am-7pm everyday. I was bored shitless but nothing bad ever happened. No food was left prepared either - i just had cereal and toast and whatever i wanted to make from the fridge.

Mum worked over an hour away and dad was un-contactable. We knew no neighbours and had no one local in an emergency.

This was awful in many ways - BUT - i never once had an accident nor did anything bad happen (just bone crushing boredom and loneliness). So I think 2 half days is okay for your dd at 12yo.