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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be saddened at everyone wanting their babies to grow up fast

48 replies

saynothing · 09/02/2012 10:26

I have noticed this in most of my friends, we all have similar aged babies. They all seem to intent on trying to force their babies to grow up so fast, and I just can't understand it as they are babies for such a short time.

I feel like I'm the odd one out for not weaning early, giving tea in bottles, cutting babies down to one bottle a day, feeding adult sized portions, feeding food really not suitable for babies, trying to encourage babies to do poo's in a potty, feeding toddler formula etc and I could go on.

This is all happening in babies aged 5-7 months, to me this is still a baby not a toddler. I can't understand why they all boast about how grown up their babies are as they don't bother with bottles much.

I feel like I'm the freak for giving my LO 4 bottles a day still. Tell me AIBU for treating my baby like a baby???

OP posts:
tiddleypompom · 09/02/2012 10:29

Nope. I second your emotion - had to step away from NCT meets in the end as it was bewildering.

OnlyANinja · 09/02/2012 10:30

giving tea in bottles, cutting babies down to one bottle a day, feeding adult sized portions, feeding food really not suitable for babies, trying to encourage babies to do poo's in a potty, feeding toddler formula etc and I could go on

They are really doing all of that are they?

aldiwhore · 09/02/2012 10:31

YANBU.

I'm not even sure they want their babies to 'grow up' I think they just like playing with them like dollies, eager for the next thing, want to be first, I'm not sure its about the baby at all!

(Unless early weaning is advised of course, etc)

keepingupwiththejoneses · 09/02/2012 10:33

I totally agree. I will not be having any more dc and so wish for that baby time back. I knew I wasn't going to have any more when ds3 was born to just let him do everything in his own time. I have never put tea in a bottle!

mrspepperpotty · 09/02/2012 10:34

Tea in a bottle for a 5-7 month baby?!?

snapsnap · 09/02/2012 10:35

YANBU and clearly a perfect Mum but dare I ask why are you friends with people who give babies tea in their bottles?

MosEisley · 09/02/2012 10:38

YANBU. Your friends are weird, who gives a 5 month old baby tea in a bottle.

Find some new friends.

elliejjtiny · 09/02/2012 10:40

I'm the opposite. My 13 month old still wears babygrows if we're not going anywhere special (mostly because he pulls his socks off and I haven't got round to buying him some tights yet). They all had bottles/breastfeeds for at least 14 months. They are babies for such a short time.

Original poster
saynothing · 09/02/2012 10:43

OnlyANinja that's from a few different people, as an example of some of the things they are doing, it's not all from the same person.

snapsnap never said I was a perfect mum, I just treat my baby like a baby and try as far as possible to follow guidelines, and am enjoying my baby as I know he will grow up so quick without me trying to force him. I was Shock at the tea in bottle thing but I don't think it's a good enough basis for discontinuing the friendship!

OP posts:
IKilledIgglePiggle · 09/02/2012 10:43

I think it's possible it's just your social circle.

I mean tea in bottles, no, just no.

OffMeTrolley · 09/02/2012 10:45

Agree op
On here its oh I'm pregnant, can't wait to drop
Oh its here, can't wait to dump it on someone else so I can go back to work
Can't wait till it goes to school so I can have more me time
Can't wait for it to not be dependant onme
Can't wait for it to leave home
Oh sod it, they expect me to babysit the new baby while sheswans off back to work!

ReallyTired · 09/02/2012 10:46

Are you feeling a bit insecure? I don't know many parents who did those things at a year yet alone 6 to 7 months. It sounds like you are doing fine to me.

I think what you are describing is people making different parenting decisions to you rather than necessarily trying to force their children to grow up. For example I don't under undestand what you mean by "feeding food really not suitable for babies" as baby led weaning is giving adult food from the start.

A lot of first time mums are desperate to start weaning or potty training. They are much calmer with the second child as I know what the mess is like.

tiddleypompom · 09/02/2012 10:46

Not just your social circle (unless we are in the same one op?)

Friend here gave DD (2 months) gravy on Christmas day 'for a treat'.

Birdsgottafly · 09/02/2012 10:47

YANBU, however mine had baby cups when they drank anything other than BM, they wouldn't drink out of bottles.

I gave my first DD tea in a bottle 26 years ago, before we knew about it blocking iron from being absorbed, so they may be taking advice from their older relatives on that one. I didn't do it with any of my other children, ten years later.

Original poster
saynothing · 09/02/2012 10:49

Tbh the tea is mostly in a sippy cup now that she takes v little bottles but even so!

Tried directing a few of them to mumsnet, as I think alot of the advice they are getting are from the older generation but they haven't come to visit us here! Coincidently the one friend who's not like this is a mumsnetter so your all obviously a good influence! Wink

OP posts:
LittleWhiteWolf · 09/02/2012 10:49

Hmm, well while I don't hold with early weaning, tea in bottles, poos on potties or toddler formula for 5-7 month olds, I would probably have still met your criteria for making my baby grow up early Hmm
I did BLW with my DD as it worked for us. So pretty much from 6/7 months onwards I would dish up for her what DH and I had for tea, albeit in a very small portion. I'm not sure what you mean by "feeding food not suitable for babies" unless you mean crisps or whatnot, which DD still does not have at 2.6. Apart from that she's always had what we've had. And once she was properly eating 3 meals a day (7 months) she lost interest in her bottles quite a bit, so cut down a lot without my insisting she do so if you see what I mean.

Are all your friends doing ALL of those things, or are they all doing one or two things from the list? I can see where you're coming from as its nice to remember that babies are still just babies. But from 6 months onwards there's a lot they can do (sit up and feed herself for my DD for instance) and it's not a bad thing to encourage that IMO.

Pagwaatch · 09/02/2012 10:49

I think you are mixing with slightly batty people. But I also think you are slightly misunderstanding.

Being a parent is a bit of an adventure. I think some people rush through it because they think the next bit will be even better whilst others like to wander through it savouring it. That's all.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 09/02/2012 10:50

Came on here about to say YABU as admit I do find myself wishing the nappy stage away sometimes BUT having heard the examples YANBU. Babies need something like 350ml of milk a day until they're two I think and toddler formula is designed for, well, toddlers, who could just as easily have cows milk, not babies under 1.

snapsnap · 09/02/2012 10:52

Ok gravy and tea are extreme but.....
Why is it such a big deal for parents to give the odd bit of different food to their babies now and then ?

My children were all fed various Annabel Karmel and other home made recipes at 5 months (I weaned before 6 months Shock )
Once in a while I will give my 10 month old some of the ice cream her sister has.
I strongly believe in fresh homemade food for children of any age but the odd thing wont hurt

Pagwaatch · 09/02/2012 10:52

Older generation?

What exactly would you describe as older? My mitre is nearly 80 and if I tried to give my baby tea she would have thought I had lost the plot.

Decent sensible parenting wasn't invented in the last generation. Neither was sex btw

Pagwaatch · 09/02/2012 10:52

Mother not mitre.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 09/02/2012 10:52

YANBU....my DS is 9 now and I cant believe the amount of his friends parents who just can wait for them to "grow up"...........I just want him to enjoy childhood for as long as he can before lifes shitty realities hit home!

Charlotteperkins · 09/02/2012 10:53

TEA in bottles! Really?

Wouldn't surprise me but not heard that one before.

snapsnap · 09/02/2012 10:53

I actually think that there is a bit of movement towards infantisling children - delayed potty training, feeding late, co sleeping etc

Original poster
saynothing · 09/02/2012 10:57

ReallyTired it's these things along with their general attitude like being so pleased that people think some of the babies could pass for a one yr old, that kind of thing. And by unsuitable food I'm really talking about rubbish food, crisps and chocolate buttons etc. I'm definately not insecure as I know I'm doing what I should be when I should be and I have all u ladies to ask when I'm not sure about something!

We are all first time mums btw.

OP posts: