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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to refuse to work 40 hours a week for £100?

87 replies

dimplebum · 07/02/2012 21:32

Basically, due to a raise in DH s wage, we are no longer entitled to tax credits to help towards to cost of childcare. Therefore, taking the cost of childcare into account, I will be working 30 hours at work and 10 hours from home for £100 a week.

I have been speaking to DH about it tonight and he reckons I should quit and spend precious time at home with our 2DSs. And then maybe get a weekend or evening job when DH can look after them. I would only need to work 15ish hours to get the same amount of money if I were to get say a bar job at minimum wage.

But it infuriates me that this is the situation, I love my job, I had to train for 4 years at university but £100 a week? Plus all the pressure that comes with the job I am in! I know I am not going to be in this situation forever, DSs will eventually both be full time at school but I feel it wouldnt be easy for me if I left the job now and tried to return once they were both full time.

It just seems so unfair and I am unsure what to do?

OP posts:

thefroggy · 07/02/2012 22:27

That's a very interesting post kitchenroll. Would you say the same to a benefit claimant, I thought that your opinion was that they should work for peanuts?

mrsscoob · 07/02/2012 22:48

Won't your husbands payrise cover the childcare costs that you were getting before?

rhondajean · 07/02/2012 23:00

I wouldn't give up my job.

If his wages have gone up, then he needs to cover at least part of the difference in Childcare.

I get what you mean but I firmly second all those who I'd you are not working for one hundred pounds. You are working for what you earn, your household expenses have now gone from x to y, that is all.

Im going on a rant here but I loathe this attitude that the lower paid parent, usually the mother, isn't working for anything. Won't get on my soapbox. Promise. Suggest DH gives up a days work to reduce Childcare costs if he's that worried.

(I'm unreasonable, would Actually work at a loss to keep my career on track though!)

foreverondiet · 07/02/2012 23:04

I don't agree with the comments re: childcare being a joint expense. It is in some ways but the economics are that you need to look at the person who is earning the least and deduct from their salary as they could be at home looking after the children while the other one (who earns more) works. That often is the woman but not always. The same does not apply to say the cost of a nursery that your child would go to whether you worked or not - those costs shouldn't be part of the equation at all as they are not a cost of working.

However for me (I work 3 days) it isn't about £ at this stage, its about keeping my career going plus sanity of having a career. Would be annoying if I was actually out of pocket. If you have a career you can easily go back to in 5 years time then yes take some time out...

carernotasaint · 08/02/2012 00:59

Good point thefroggy.

outofbodyexperience · 08/02/2012 01:09

so, you are thinking of quitting work so that your benefits go back up?

nice.

i do hope you don't appear on any scroungers threads.

(okay, okay, i know it's a 'tax credit', but really? sign up for vouchers, and decide whether you want to work or not. and lose the 'i pay the childcare because i have a vagina' line. dh pays it too, and it was his stinking pay rise that lost you your benefits tax credits, right? so you are in exactly the saem situation as you were before, just dh is earning more and theoretically you are earning less if you insist on using a vagina based system to tot up.)

Spermysextowel · 08/02/2012 01:35

When I went back to work after DS2 we were actually paying more in childcare than I earnt. My theory was that it wouldn't be forever; it wasn't. Yes, as Anyfucker warns, he was off with the barmaid (or pastry chef) before DS2 was 6 months old.

Hecubasdaughter · 08/02/2012 04:43

I'd work for £100 per week tbh. I calculated that if we both work we will be working for -£9 per week. Yes that's a minus :(. We're job hunting to try and work out something that involves less childcare so we can make ends meet.

SaraBellumHertz · 08/02/2012 04:54

I gave up my professional job after DD1.

The money I would have earns was negligible compared to that which DH did and I wanted to be at home.

I was fortunate that I had some money tied up in savings and continued to pay into a pension so have not felt financially vulnerable.

However once DC were at school and I wanted to return to work it was virtually impossible. So I had another baby or two and then it was harder again.

I have now returned to work but recognize I am extremely fortunate.

Working is more than just the money so if you want to go back at some point think carefully. If you know you won't want to return ever then it's obviously not worth the bother if you don't need the cash.

samandi · 08/02/2012 06:26

I'd think pretty seriously about giving up a job you love in this climate. And having £100 left after all bills are paid is something quite a few people don't have.

DamselInDisarray · 08/02/2012 06:44

This weird 'child care is women's responsibility' attitude is very odd, even I'd it is dressed up as the 'lower earner'. It's a big contributor to why many women have ended up quite vulnerable in old age or as a result of relationship breakup (and many of those whose relationships have broken up wouldn't have believed it was going to happen).

Working:
? increases your family income (£400 after tax is a reasonable amount)
? may well provide you with an occupational pension
? pays NI contributions, which might matter if you ever find yourself seeking work as you'll get contributions-based jsa
? is something you enjoy and trained hard for
? may provide pay rises and promotions in the future
? gives you an independent income should your relationship break up or something else happen (e.g. Disability for your husband)
? etc, etc.

Now if you want to be a SAHM, that's entirely different. But you don't have to be.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 08/02/2012 06:52

Outofbody, she said her tax credits to cover childcare stopped due to a rise in her DH's wage, not that they would go up if she left work.

Any excuse to benefit bash though eh?

callmemrs · 08/02/2012 07:33

Op- I think there are several issues here

First off, I entirely agree that it is a daft system which 'takes away' from you, the more you try to improve your earnings and take on more challenging work.

I am a big fan of the universal credit idea, whereby everyone gets a level of money to allow for the basics- food, roof over head etc- and then anything you earn is yours on top of that. The huge problem with the tax credit system on which you've relied is that it doesn't incentivise people to go for promotions. I know loads of women who deliberately work quite low part time hours so they do enough to get credits, but deliberately stay under the threshold where they'd start to lose those credits! It's a stupid, stupid system.

Anyway, aside from that, the childcare is a separate issue. You are in the situation which many people are in- in fact better than many. Nursery for my two cost the equivalent of ALL my salary for a while. There are many reasons why it can be a good idea to keep hold of your job.

I know the occasional woman will pop

callmemrs · 08/02/2012 07:35

Pop up and say 'I stayed home for a decade and walked back into a fantastic job on the same salary and level I left' - but in the real world it isn't like that

In fact I often interview women trying to return to the workplace and it's very hard for them when they are up against women who have kept their hand in. I also see how many of them have lost a lot of confidence and actually don't even apply for jobs at their previous level of skill. I would think long and hard before jacking a career in.

Himalaya · 08/02/2012 07:37

What everyone else has said about childcare being a joint expense.

The reason your tax credit calculation has changed is because it is assumed that both working parents contribute towards childcare costs.

I do understand the economics of looking at the net situation and coming up with 100 - but you have to weigh this against losing your career and prospects. If you would have been equally happy doing minimum wage bar work why did you bother with 4 years of Uni ?

What would be the net situation if your husband went down to 4 days a week?

Lost wages - ( gained tax care credits + lower childcare costs).

You may well be more than 100 pounds a week better off with this option. Plus you get to save your career and your DH gets to spend precious time with his children. It doesn't scupper your DH's career but he may be seen as a bit less of a company man.

I don't just mean this as a rhetorical device. Is there any reason why this can't be a real option?

Ladygahgah · 08/02/2012 07:42

I am a wahm and my eldest is in school, youngest is not old enough for nursery so at home with me when I work. If I used childcare I would have about as much as you left over! Luckily I can work evenings etc so I don't use childcare. However...as others have said, you still have a £100 after childcare costs, so it's not all you earn. Also your dp is accountable for his share of costs

TupperwareTwat · 08/02/2012 07:48

In your situation I would continue in my chosen career. I would see the £100 as an added bonus.

Malificence · 08/02/2012 07:52

I find it a weird way of looking at things - the only way to look at it is to say your family have an extra £400 a month with you working (at the moment) so of course it's worth it, everyones living expenses go up at certain times, mortgages go up, the cost of travel goes up etc. etc.
It costs us getting on for £4000 a year in diesel to go to work but we're not about to look for less hours or lower paying jobs on the doorstep.
Not to mention that the (fairly short term) cost of childcare isn't your burden alone. You'll lose far more by doing what you are suggesting, employablility, pension, sick pay etc.

FredFredGeorge · 08/02/2012 07:56

Yes childcare is a joint expense, but the money is also joint surely? So either way the end result to the household income is 100 quid for 40 hours work. Now as everyone has said there are lots of good reasons to continue working but it will always boil down to 100 quid for 40 hours work right now.

Malificence · 08/02/2012 08:00

You could say that for all your bills though.
Some people have outrageously high mortgages, I don't see a difference, other than the cost of childcare is short term and comes to an end.

spottyscarf · 08/02/2012 08:08

I work weekends and it ain't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, we don't have to pay childcare Sat and Sun (though I work Fridays too and the childcare is pretty much all my wages). But the lack of family time is really tough on all of us, so much so that I'm now looking for a weekday job despite the fact I wouldn't make any profit until DD1 starts school in September.

If you have more than one child it can't be more than a year or so before the eldest is in school, so your costs will go down.

Plus can you afford to lose £400 a month? We couldn't!

spottyscarf · 08/02/2012 08:08

If you have more than one child it can't be more than a year or so before the eldest is in school, so your costs will go down.

Plus can you afford to lose £400 a month? We couldn't!

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 08/02/2012 08:09

I would continue working, I think it is an investment in your future career.

As a nurse, I would have found it very hard to step out for a few years,so I carried on doing part time hours. It's not just salary, you are still getting pension contributions paid as well.

As It is, even newly qualified nurses in my field can't find jobs at the moment so frankly I think anyone who stepped out of the profession for a few years would have little chance!

inmysparetime · 08/02/2012 08:12

My work only pays £400 a month before childcare. I have done not one but 2 degrees to get where I am today, and can only cover school holidays by working 2 days a week and doing cover work in term time. I have no pension etc.
I do my job because I love it, and look forward to going in. Sure, I'd like it to pay more, but the only way up the career ladder is to go full time, and my priority right now is my family.
OP, think yourself lucky, you get more than most before childcare, and more than quite a few after childcare.
Enjoy your job and await your DCs starting 3 year funding and school.
It does get easier

Forrestgump · 08/02/2012 08:16

A few years back I was offered a job that if I paid for childcare alone for 2 years, it would of left me with about £-5 a week, (that wasn't the case as dh said he would pay for all the childcare) as it was I found I was pregnant shortly before so going back to work then wasn't an option, so I would of thought £100 a week was brilliant.

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