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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to refuse to work 40 hours a week for £100?

87 replies

dimplebum · 07/02/2012 21:32

Basically, due to a raise in DH s wage, we are no longer entitled to tax credits to help towards to cost of childcare. Therefore, taking the cost of childcare into account, I will be working 30 hours at work and 10 hours from home for £100 a week.

I have been speaking to DH about it tonight and he reckons I should quit and spend precious time at home with our 2DSs. And then maybe get a weekend or evening job when DH can look after them. I would only need to work 15ish hours to get the same amount of money if I were to get say a bar job at minimum wage.

But it infuriates me that this is the situation, I love my job, I had to train for 4 years at university but £100 a week? Plus all the pressure that comes with the job I am in! I know I am not going to be in this situation forever, DSs will eventually both be full time at school but I feel it wouldnt be easy for me if I left the job now and tried to return once they were both full time.

It just seems so unfair and I am unsure what to do?

OP posts:

milkysmum · 07/02/2012 21:49

Your not alone. When i go back to work after having DC2 (currently on mat leave) I will come out with less than £100 more per week than if I stayed at home with the DC's but in a few years the childcare cost will reduce and I will still have a career.

featherbag · 07/02/2012 21:49

I'd carry on for an extra £400pm! And are you full or part-time? Only you say part-time but then say you do 40hrs pw, which is full time? I work 3 days a week (when not on mat leave), but as they are 13hr shifts I am full time.

baabaapinksheep · 07/02/2012 21:49

If you look at it like that then I work for about -£100 a week. I am a LP and my childcare costs are more than my salary, but it won't be forever.

forkful · 07/02/2012 21:49

childcare vouchers

SensitivityChip · 07/02/2012 21:49

I work fulltime for £50 per week after childcare with just 2dc, not entitled to tax credits. It sucks. I can't even say it'll help my career.

MrsAmaretto · 07/02/2012 21:49

What will happen when your dc's get to school age? Will you & your partners work fit around 9-3, taking them to after school activities & holidays? If yes, maybe it's worth the next few years?

I'm in the same boat birth of 2nd dc may lead 2 me giving up work. When they r at school there's no after school childcare in our village so why work now to have to give it up when older (dh on oil rig do reaallly can't help with school run!)

Wondering why I bothered with degree & postgrad. Or should have done something I could freelance at.

Good luck with your decision.

KittyFane · 07/02/2012 21:49

I was thinking the same as others- are you deducting all of the CC costs from your wage? If so, why?
For example say your wage is 1450
CC 500 each DC
You could say your wage is reduced to 450 after CC by taking it off your wage
or you could say it's reduced to 950 by taking an equal amount of both wages.

HippoPottyMouth · 07/02/2012 21:50

I don't think I would quit, pension and job continuity is important. Plus if they are at nursery, once they get to three yiu start to get free hours deducted from the bill.
Plus if you were off all the time, you'd be spending more money (if you are anything like me) and frankly, being a full time mum seems like hard work, based on my 'days off' from work.

thefroggy · 07/02/2012 21:50

I'd work for £100 a week if I could afford to. I can't, because i'm a lone parent and it wouldn't pay the bills. But I wouldn't sniff at it if the choice was there and it led to better things.

nerfgunsftw · 07/02/2012 21:51

If he is only just over the limit can he take 1 weeks unpaid leave to get back below ? As he has young kids there is a law where he can request 'parental leave' and they have to give him it

McHappyPants2012 · 07/02/2012 21:52

how old are your children, as would this be an option

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/WorkAndFamilies/Parentalleaveandflexibleworking/DG_10029416

Heswall · 07/02/2012 21:53

People always say look long term and I do and don't agree.
If you've completed your family and aren't bothered about maternity rights and you have to contribute to your pension then frankly I wouldn't worry, put your feet up and enjoy your children.
I had 5 years off and walked straight back into a new professional career during this period of high unemployment.

Hardgoing · 07/02/2012 21:53

Dimple, if your husband is so keen for one parent to be at home before, why not ask him if he fancies it if you love your job a lot and want to continue? Seriously. Why should you give up a job you really like and take some non-career job on weekends unless you would like to? I personally would not do this, when the recession hit it was a massive advantage that I had a 'proper' professional job to fall back on when my husband lost his work (temporarily). But more than that, you like your job and feel value in doing it and that's a pretty important thing.

I see the point about the wage, but I would split the childcare costs between the two wages (any chance of getting vouchers from his work?) before considering the impact on the family finances. Childcare isn't 'your' expense, it's both of yours.

In a couple of years you will be getting the free 3 year old places, then they will be at school. If you are wondering how easy it is to return after a few years back, there have been loads of threads recently from mums who can't get back into the workplace, or only do minimum wage jobs.

If you wanted to stay home, or hated your job, or very much felt your family needed you more, it's different, personaly I think you'd be crazy to give up a job you like at this stage for short-term financial reasons.

LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite · 07/02/2012 21:54

I agree with pp'ers....why are you deducting all childcare costs from your wage?

Also, you are working for your full wage...it's just your expenses have risen (with childcare). You may 'only' have £100 a week left, but presumably that's expendable income? I'd love to have £100 a week spare.

LydiaWickham · 07/02/2012 21:55

Short term pain, long term gain. Do you think you could take 5 - 10 years out of the market place and then just go back in at the same level you are now, before you even think about 10 years of promotion/pay rises. Can you afford to save for your pension privately?

Is there anyway for your DH to change his hours so he can do some of the childcare?

Jumbs · 07/02/2012 21:55

when I had 2 in nursery I felt like this at times, my take home equalled the monthly nursery fee (not even £100 over). BUT, of course that isn't really how it was, DH and I both contributed to the nursery fees, child care vouchers help (can you get these?), I was still contributing to NI and pension plus keeping my skills up to date and the presence at work for any future promotions.

DS1 is at school now so nursery bills already lower and in 2 yrs time both will be at school. Yes, will still have to pay breakfast club/childminder and holiday club but nothing like the £1k a month we were paying.
You say you love your job, I would value what you have in a more balanced way and it is only for a shortwhile that the childcare is such a factor from your earnings.

AnyFucker · 07/02/2012 21:55

Heswall congratulations, but back in the real world, that is very rare

SkivingAgain · 07/02/2012 21:57

You are working for what your employer is paying you, the rest of your domestic situation is of your own creation. Take pride in the fact that you are financially independent.

Heswall · 07/02/2012 21:58

Obviously I would disagree, you can't buy these years back IMO if you aren't going to starve I would enjoy them.

McHappyPants2012 · 07/02/2012 21:59

child benifit may not be scrapped

news.sky.com/home/politics/article/16148159

cestlavielife · 07/02/2012 22:07

You taking costs of child care into account from only your salary ? Why ? It is joint expense

You love your jo
You have flexibility to work some hours from home
You trained for it.
Don't give it up when the extra costs now are temporary

You will be having NI pension. Etc paid.

Best to maintain level of independence job wise presumably later on this job has potential for bigger income ?

motherinferior · 07/02/2012 22:11

You're not working for £100. You have high childcare costs, which for some reason seems to be your responsibility alone. It's different.

AnyFucker · 07/02/2012 22:12

If your DH ever fucks off with that 20 yo barmaid, you will be glad you held onto your employability and your professional status

EirikurNoromaour · 07/02/2012 22:16

Why is your wage the one that isn't counted? Oh fgs there is so much wrong with your attitude I don't know where to start...
Your choice to have DCs. Childcare costs money. You and your DH have to pay for it out of your income, just like you pay for food, car insurance, mortgage etc. just an expense of life. Not unfair.
In a few years your dc will all be at school and costs will drop. You will still have a career, an income, and unbroken pension contributions. Hooray. Or you could give up work and be £100 a week worse off. Your decision, maybe a hard one, but hardly an unfair one.

letseatgrandma · 07/02/2012 22:21

I presume you're a teacher?

It might be jolly difficult to get a job several years down the line if you haven't worked at all whilst raising small children-bear that in mind when making a decision.

Teaching can also be useful when it comes to coping with long school holidays. You do need to think of this as a long-term investment.

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