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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have changed my mind?

48 replies

MateyMooo · 07/02/2012 17:02

Last year a freind of mine was getting rid of a travel cot (to the tip) and a cotbed.
We had given away our cotbed to a friend about a month earlier but then decided to do childminding and needed the stuff again.

my friend was upgrading her DC room and had a cotbed she said we could have along with some other stuff that DC grew out of. we discussed that i had no money and wouldnt have any until the childminding was up and running.

I was thinking of £100. we got was the cotbed and the travel cot that was fit for the tip.

since then the friendship has faded away

Yesterday she asked me how the CM was going and i told her i was really enjoying it. this morning she stopped me and asked me for the £200 i owe her because she's really skint. i was wrongfooted and expressed surprise and eventually agreed on £150.

However i dont actually have any money of my own and my CM activites have brought in £120 to date, which hasnt covered costs.

When i told my DH that i needed money and what i needed it for - hes gone mental and told me that i could get both brand new from argos for £130. and he wont give me the money to give to her.

so i have text her and apologised and said i'll get the stuff together for her to return it to her, but i'm now scared of what to SAY to her when i see her, because obviously i want to speak with her and explain.

Help me

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/02/2012 17:17

So the travel cot was on route to the tip- so you saved her the effort of taking it there.
And the cot-bed, unless you agreed on a price, then it seems a bit Hmm now to say she wants £200.

Offer her it back or suggest a reasonable price (look on Ebay to give you an idea). Chances are she doesn't want the furniture back and will say have it or agree a price.
I'm assuming you bought a new mattress for it.That would cost more than a second hand bed.

Shutupanddrive · 07/02/2012 17:26

Why didn't you agree on a price???

Original poster
MateyMooo · 07/02/2012 17:27

no. i didnt buy a new matress because i havent actually used the bed at all!

thank you for an impartial opionion

OP posts:
Busyoldfool · 07/02/2012 17:27

Oh Dear - very awkward. Just the sort of situation I get myself into. How long have you had use of the things? Months? Weeks?

I think that you have explained it very well here and if you say much the same to her and offer her something for the time that you have used the stuff that will be the best you can do.

Good luck

TroublesomeEx · 07/02/2012 17:28

You should have agreed on a price first. Why on earth didn't you?!

If she was taking them to the tip, I don't think it matters that you've changed her mind.

She's just found herself a bit short of cash. She is seeing you as the proverbial cash cow and it's milking time. Say no.

Have you actually got the stuff then?

Original poster
MateyMooo · 07/02/2012 17:30

I thought that we were talking about 100 when we first discussed it so when she said 200 today, she really threw me. She knew at the time that i had no money ( made bankrupt last april) and i though she was doing me a favour, helping me set up when i was at the bottom of the barrell

I havent used the travel cot either.

the kids i CM are all school age, so i only have them for an hour or so afterschool,
but financially i'm still on the bottom of the barrell!

OP posts:
MissBerta · 07/02/2012 17:36

Blimey! I'd be telling her to come and collect it at her earliest convenience.

MarleysBra · 07/02/2012 17:38

Why don't you just give the items back and tell her she can sell them (as long as they're in the same condition as you received them)

izzyizin · 07/02/2012 17:41

As you haven't needed or used the items, I would suggest you explain this to her and return the items so that she can sell them or dispose of them as she sees fit.

joomtape · 07/02/2012 18:11

you can maybe get new one from argos but maybe she got one handmade from some poncy place that charges a fortune . you might have been thinking of 100 she might have been thinking of 500

I think its a bit off to take something and not pay for it. On the other hand its mental to buy something and not know how much you are going to pay for it

can you not text back and say you didn't realise it was going to be that much and you're very sorry. Prob won't do much for your friendship sounds that that doesn't matter though.

Original poster
MateyMooo · 07/02/2012 18:15

the reason we didnt get to sticking at a price is because these were to be the first of her massive clear out... which didnt happen.

it isnt a handmade cot its an ordinary cotbed.

she gave me the stuff without me having the money because she wanted it out of her way and was prepared to wait while i 'made' the money.

OP posts:
gemma4d · 07/02/2012 18:20

Surely its a bonus that the friendship has faded, you don't have a good friend to loose! Say you have never used it, give it back. Jobs a good-un.

DublinMammy · 07/02/2012 18:21

She doesn't sound like a very nice friend. I'd tell her she can have them back as you haven't used them.

Original poster
MateyMooo · 07/02/2012 18:25

thanks all

OP posts:
Busyoldfool · 07/02/2012 18:27

Agree. If you haven't used them and she really was chucking them out rather than thinking of trying to sell them elsewhere then you don't need to pay her anything.

SauvignonBlanche · 07/02/2012 18:30

YANBU, she's taking the mick.

historyrepeats · 07/02/2012 18:36

Return them and don't re-kindle the friendship cheeky bitch

IKilledIgglePiggle · 07/02/2012 18:51

Don't give her the money, take the stuff back and explain that in no way did you think she would want that much for them and you can get new stuff for that price, say sorry about the mix up and never speak to her again.

Original poster
MateyMooo · 11/02/2012 21:14

DEVELOPMENT - Help needed!

She is now refusing to take the items back saying that she doenst have the room for them, becuase she thought she'd sold them.

What do i do now????

OP posts:
NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 11/02/2012 21:20

Tell her to put them on ebay anyway and you will store them at your house for her until they are sold.

Busyoldfool · 11/02/2012 21:26

Good idea, Noonesgoingto... Or if she says no to that say that you will drop them off as soon as she has done a bit more of the "big clear out" that she told you about. Explain again about the money - you are sorry for the misundestanding etc, etc

PurplePidjin · 11/02/2012 21:26

Leave them on the doorstep.

£200 for a used cot? She can jog right on!

corlan · 11/02/2012 21:30

She doesn't sound like much of a friend. She sounds more like a chancer!

WhereMyMilk · 11/02/2012 21:33

As NoOnes said, offer her a cheap storage price :o

ShagOBite · 11/02/2012 21:36

Stand your ground.