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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why so many people here can't see a difference between:

71 replies

TheParanoidAndroid · 07/02/2012 09:20

This is completely ok/fine by me

and

This is not on/rather disgusting/etc but not worth getting into such a massive state ie calling the police or razing the building to the ground?

Not a thread about a thread, more a general feeling from a great number of threads. So many responders seem to believe if you aren't actively frothing berserk then you just aren't on the Right Side. We just can't all get ramped up to 90 over every little thing. Or even big things.

Its very annoying.

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TheRhubarb · 07/02/2012 11:16

ha flywiththecrows! No but I did have an inkling from the thread title what this was referring to, which is a thread I also happen to be on. Even though this is not a thread about a thread at all!
If I searched my name I'd only get all the recipe threads - yes I've done so, tis very boring.

WorraLiberty · 07/02/2012 11:16

There are some posters on MN who are routinely unnecessarily combative and abusive to every poster they disagree with and I do wonder if it's time they found themselves a hobby

I'd like to nominate this for post of the week Grin

YANBU by the way Paranoid

TheRhubarb · 07/02/2012 11:17

Course not Paranoid Wink
BTW your MN name is mine and dh's secret name for dd.

OTheHugeManatee · 07/02/2012 11:17

Ah - I see ParanoidAndroid made the same point as me.

Grin
TheParanoidAndroid · 07/02/2012 11:18

thats sweet, rhubarb. My DH calls me Marvin on occasion. Grin

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TheRhubarb · 07/02/2012 11:21

Are you though?
My dd is so negative to the point of it being laughable. If you ask her if she had a good sleep she'll look at you with doleful eyes and tell you that she was awake half the night, she hasn't been to sleep for a whole week, she never gets to sleep and now she has a headache and doesn't know if that's because she hasn't slept or that's why she isn't sleeping and she's very worried about it and there might be something wrong with her. So now we don't ask.

One day I'll read her the book and try very very hard not to replace Marvin's name with her own Grin

TheParanoidAndroid · 07/02/2012 11:25

I'm not really, no, I'm just a bit of a whingebag especially when required to do domestic tasks cos they're beneath me. Actually it arose when we won a pub quiz and he said I had a brain the size of a planet, which was sweet if woefully inaccurate!

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StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2012 11:27

And the blood in the meal one. I think it was an underreaction Tbh to say, meh they either wear gloves or they don't, what could environmmtal health do about it

TheRhubarb · 07/02/2012 11:27

"Call that job satisfaction? Cause I don't"

I love Marvin!

StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2012 11:30

And the blood in the meal one. I think it was an underreaction Tbh to say, meh they either wear gloves or they don't, what could environmmtal health do about it

StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2012 11:31

Applaud, phone

OhdearNigel · 07/02/2012 11:32

no merry, unfortunately not.

OhdearNigel · 07/02/2012 11:33

Thankyou Worra [curtseys]

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 07/02/2012 11:35

Paranoid I know, that's what I meant too but from the other way around.

"I would be upset and angry about this too, would changing things around a bit help him get over this as he is depressed?" replied to with "How do you people even have children when you find sex so disgusting? My friends have sex in my child's bedroom every day! You are like a Victorian!"

There is a fine balance and I think I'm with you in the middle ground. I wouldn't have sex, or want friends to sneak off and have sex, in my three year old's bedroom. I wouldn't banish them forever if they did, but I wouldn't be outside the door cheering them on because sex is a beautiful thing either. I don't think you need to be called disgusting but I don't need to be called repressed either, just because we said similar things in a different way.

And FWIW, it really annoys me when someone deliberately misunderstands something on purpose in this way, just for the sole reason of belittling a poster and trying to make them look stupid.

I saw it on another thread when someone abbreviated something to just the initials (not BFF instead of Best Friend Forever, but something similar). In the context of the post it was obvious what was meant by BFF but people were queuing up just to rant at the person "BFF? What's BFF? Best Friend Fairycake? Best Friend Flying? I can't understand a word you are posting! Write properly."

They knew exactly what she meant. They'd gotten two of the three words, it's not a great stretch of the imagination to come up with the third, they just wanted to snark at someone for the fun of it.

And it happened to me once when I said that if someone knocks on my front door I will shut our dog in the living room to stop her running out when I open it and getting onto the road outside. Within just a couple of posts I was accused of saying all dog owners should keep their dogs locked away forever and had a group of frothers screeching at me because keeping a dog off a main road 'for it's own safety' meant I was part of an idiot brigade who think all dogs are just waiting to rip out the throats of the innocent and belonged in cages if they were allowed to live at all.

Um...no. There's a big difference between "shut the dog in the living room for a minute" and "lock it in a cage forever." But when I reacted and said I just wanted to keep my dog from getting run over, I was the one who was called names and sneered at and leapt on and finally accused of frothing myself, which was probably what they were going for all along, since it turned out one of them had been banned for it before.

So I agree, the frothers are very good at only reading what they want to read. But it works from both sides and it is really annoying.

Nagoo · 07/02/2012 11:36

I thought it WAS their hobby Grin

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 07/02/2012 11:38

Blood in the meal one? Confused

WorraLiberty · 07/02/2012 11:49

I think there's too much 'standard' belittling of posts and opinions on MN lately really.

How often do we read....

"Gets the bingo dabber out"

"Waits for certain people to come along and say xyz"

"Here come the apologists or any other 'ists'"

Or people making massive over assumptions about other posters lives, based on a one line POV they posted that someone disagreed with.

These are all ways of dismissing, shutting down and belittling other people's opinions instead of having a healthy debate.

The ironic part is, if someone posted to say their DH treated them that way...they'd quite rightly be told it's shit behaviour and they shouldn't put up with it.

OhdearNigel · 07/02/2012 11:53

The amount of crap I got the other day from one particular poster because I was upset (and swore a lot at the snow) because my 2 year old's birthday party had to be postponed actually defied belief. The molehill I was making out of it was taken so utterly out of context and was swollen to an Everest of epic proportions. Although, with some of the form on MN for competitive misery, I'm surprised I wasn't told to stop moaning as some people in Africa would be so grateful for the wasted birthday cake.

This is the sort of thing which makes MN look ridiculous and makes my husband think that it is full of simpering morons who have nothing better to do than brag about how many words their 9 week old can say out of the serbocroat dictionary and how nasty they can be to eachother

OhdearNigel · 07/02/2012 11:55

which is a shame because I have found it to be an educational, interesting and inspiring website which has challenged some of my own viewpoints, opened my eyes to other ways of living and generally provided some superb entertainment.

Agincourt · 07/02/2012 11:59

i think some people are being a bit hypocritical on this thread

TheParanoidAndroid · 07/02/2012 12:02

I probably am. We're all hypocritical in one way or another.

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