To not want to foist my dc on a good friend for 5 days whilst dh and I feck off to Mauritius

[hmc]

Dh qualifies for an all expenses paid 'business trip' (perk) every year which is an invitation for him plus one (i.e me). This year it's 5 days in Mauritius, last year Miami etc etc... I haven't been for 9 years since dd came along (followed by ds 2 days later). We literally have no suitable family to leave them with (2 gps dead, the other 2 in chronic ill health, my sister in Oz etc). Dh moaning bitterly, apparently it is 'embarrassing' that I haven't been for so long 'everyone else's wife is there'. I could ask a good friend to have them for 5 days but quite frankly I feel that is too much of a big ask.....particularly since I will be asking them to have my dc for best part of a weekend in April whilst we attend a wedding, and again for an overnighter in July for dh's 50 birthday. So - I'm I being unreasonable, obstructive / unhelpful / defeatist in not joining dh for these annual jaunts. Perhaps I should investigate cryogenic suspension for the dc?

I think it's pretty bloody great that they get offered 5 days in Mauritius free gratis!

Is it really so hard to understand why people don't want kids on certain types of holiday? Does it really make her a bad mother if she chooses to go? It is only 5 days.

Temporary nanny?

I wouldn't have wanted to either when mine were little. Not sure I would now for that matter, although Mauritius sounds nice....

Pay for your friends to have a weekend away (whilst you look after their DC) beforehand and then get to Mauritius.

If you trust your friend to look after your DC (which you do) then I would go.

When my parents went away for a week and we were about this age, they sent us on a pgl type of holiday. We had a great time and it was probably cheaper for them than hiring a nanny.

PGL
Get a nanny
pay your friend
and just bloody go and count yourself lucky

I would happily have friends' children to stay in these circumstances and I wish people would ask me, most of my friends have local family so I very rarely even get asked to have someone for a sleepover. Having no family nearby myself I am always the one having to ask favours . However I can understand the embarrassment of asking a friend ............ just depends how well you get on I suppose. Are you sure you haven't got a long lost cousin, or an student type friend who could come and live in for a week?

The children are 9 and 7! That's not too young to be left.

Either ask the friend or send the two of them to different friends or get a temporary nanny, who would be lovely and kind and experienced and caring.

What about asking a gp to come and stay, for the company and family feel, but employ a nanny to do the actual work and take responsibility?

If you don't want to go for whatever reason, don't go.

Your problem is that you don't have a killer look that says "Don't even think about asking again, mate." Get in front of a mirror and practice, practice, practice.

I'd go in a heartbeat if I had DC that age and reliable (and willing-v important) child care. In fact, I would not have NOT gone away on these trips with my DH for such a length of time-the last 9 years. Each to their own, but I do find it strange-for me, the exception would be when DD was a "babe in arms"/breastfeeding. I don't understand the OP's reticence tbh. Granted, her friend is provding care on 2 other occasions this year, but this doesn't explain her previous absence on these annual trips (not that she has to, but I am curious!)

I'd do it for my friend. My best friend would do it for me.

Ask. She can always say no. Buy her a very expensive present

Its a blooming long way to go for 5 nights is my first reaction.

If you can afford it, I think its a lovely idea to pay for your friends to have a very very plush weekend somewhere swanky as a thank you, ie Claridges, Cliveden, first class eurostar to paris, that type of thing, not a travelodge in Blackpool. You and they will probably be happier with that, than leaving your kids with a temporary nanny, which is your only other option.

We use a TA from my daughter's school for overnight care - would this be an option - the TA moves intyour house for the nights you are away, and you would pay her au pair/nanny rates depending on the amount of childcare needed. We pay anything from £50 to £100 a day/night for 2 kids. My daughter knows her, we trust her with our kids, they are kept in their home environment, she uses our car whilst we are away, and she is saving up for a wedding so is grateful for the cash!

Pay the friend and buy him or her a lovely pressie. If you think your kids will behave, it's fine!
My parents did it once, leaving us with neighbours. We didn't mind at all.
Go, have a lovely time, get a tan, but tell your husband he is an arse for making it just your job to organise childcare.

It seems to me you have three options if you want to go:

1. Offer to pay your friend a temp nanny's rate
2. Get a temp nanny or childminder who does overnights
3. Take the kids with you paying for their flights and any upgrade to a suitable hotel room and organise on site childcare for adult only work stuff (DH should check whether this would be acceptable

I'd try to go it sounds a great opportunity.

Lol, if someone was bringing their kids I wouldn't go

I'd leave my children in these circumstances, and I'd also happily take in a friends children. But what the hell else does your husband expect you to do - leave them unattended?! Tell him you would love to go but HE has to organise the childcare and if HE doesn't you will not be on that plane. Tell him to grow a pair of balls and start justifying his salary and get organised.

I´d also look after them for a friend.

But tbh I doubt that I would want to go.