I honestly don't know whether I should be mildly annoyed or not (parents' evening appointments)

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

The sheets for parents' evening appointments were put in reception today. The school does two evenings with appointments between 3.30 and 5.50. I will admit that I have been lucky in the past and have always managed to get one of the 5.50 appointments as this is the time I normally pick DD up due to working ft.

Anyway I pick DD up today and go to the two sheets of appointments for her class. Both the 5.50 appointments were taken. No problem as work are extremely good and I know will have no problem with me leaving 10 mins early.

What I don't know whether I should be about or not is both appointments were for the same child (one mother and (presumably) new partner and the other for I guess child's father) that I can very much understand as there is no way I could go to an appt with my ex. BUT the mother is the school receptionist/secretary.

On one hand I can see her writing her name in before putting them out so not giving anyone else a chance, but on the other I don't see why she should wait a couple of days before putting her name down. So I'm on the fence about my own AIBU

The thing that sways me towards being slightly peeved is that I know she doesn't work that late as she's never there when I pick DD up (on a REALLY good traffic/P&R day it can be as early as 5.40) so why does she need one of the late appointments. So what do you think?

Well given that it doesn't make much difference to you, if you can leave work earlier, I wouldn't waste any more time thinking about it

Perhaps her DP needs the late appointment?

Either way, as mocking said, it doesn't affect you.

I would reserve my "peevedness" for the school for making so little effort to accomodate working parents. Even 5:50pm must be impossible for lots of people. All the parents' evenings we have been to, both primary and secondary, have run until 7:30pm or even 8pm.

X-post with NatashaBee!

count yourself lucky, ours are between 1pm and 3pm

From a teacher's point of view it is incredibly hard to accommodate everyone. All parents either want straight after school so they cab combine with picking kids up or as late as possible. We always end up with a great big gap in the middle. Also please bear in mind that we're giving up our own evenings which means we don't see our own DCs that night, especially if we're expected to stay until 7 or beyond. I don't know how many people in other professions would schedule meetings that coincide with DDs bath time or bedtime. We do the best we can.

Having said all that I would be slightly peeved but I guess she has as much right to that late slot as anyone else.

I think it was a bit selfish of her to take both of the 5.50 appts TBH.

She has every right to a late slot if that suits her. They're not reserved for working parents.

She didn't take both slots though

I agree the school should be more accommodating

It's a level playing field, everyone has an equal entitlement to a slot. No reason why she should be made to wait just because she works there.

'I will admit that I have been lucky in the past and have always managed to get one of the 5.50 appointments '
You have developed an undeserved sense of entitlement I feel.

Why not make an appointment on a different day? Possibly in the morning?
I've done appointments at 8am for parents who have requested it.
If you want parents' evenings at your school to run to a different timetable, have you ever suggested it? Or do you just grumble?

If you've always taken the 5.50 appointments before then you really have no right to be annoyed when someone else finally gets a turn.

one paetns evening til 7 or 8 is standard really. never been in a school where htere has not been a late nighter. (and I have been in a dozen or so on short term contracts)

Sorry Somersaults but I don't buy the teacher 'giving up their evening' thing. At the end of the day parents evenings are part of directed hours so it's not a case of them doing it out of kindness but as part of the job.

Otherwise OP I think it's a bit off that she's taken both the late slots.

No sense of entitlement at all Dustinthewind, if it had been two different children then fair's fair. I think it's more the fact that she had access to the appointment sheets before the 'general public' and therefore chances are she booked them before anyone else had a chance (am happy to be told by her that she didn't!). It's sort of the same as the 'premium' first appointment after school always being taken up pretty swiftly as no one wants to hang about for long after school

I didn't say we did it out of kindness and I'm well aware that it's part of the job. I'm merely saying that we do the best that we can within a given time frame. You simply cannot please everyone including yourself! It is hard knowing that you won't see DD that night because you are trying to accommodate parents who want late appointments. I've know more than one school that only sees parents during the school day forcing parents to take time off work. I give up my time with DD 2-3 times a year for parents evenings, I give up weekends and other evenings for Sacramental Programme, school discos, residential trips and lots of other things. Some of those fall into directed hours and some do not. A lot of teachers go above and beyond their directed hours for many reasons. I know parents sometimes want late appointments but the other side of the coin is that there has to be a line somewhere otherwise teachers will end up being stuck at school at 10pm trying to accommodate someone.

Sunday, that's the answer. Parents' days could be on a Sunday.

Parents Evening is part of the job. When dd1 had hers a few weeks ago we arrived bang on time to see our first appointment. Dh sat and waited and finally saw that teacher 50 minutes later. The whole thing was apallingly badly managed. The letter that was sent out made to reference to being timely and keeping it short for the benefit of the teachers 'who've had a long day' - shame this wasn't pointed out to said teachers, to be applied to their contacts with working parents who have also had a long day. Parents Evening just sucks whatever side of the fence you're on.

Weirdly our primary school has early afternoon times and the grammar has late evenings. Do they assume people only get jobs when their kids hit 11? Or that only grammar school parents work? Really odd.

A lot of parents complain about late evening ones because they fuss about babysitters. We run ours from 3.30 to 6 on one day and 5-8 on the other.
We still get grumbles.

At our school she'd be told to get a bloody grip and see the teacher with her ex not the new partner who has no right to be at an appointment at all.

That is a dreadful response, the school have no idea why the parents split.
Both parents should have the right to an appointment (not necessarily on parents' evening) and a copy of any reports or paperwork. (restraining orders and such-like notwithstanding)
Parents should also have the right to bring another person along if they choose to, our EAL parents often do.

The school usually have a very good idea why people have spilt up.

Wait till senior school. Appointments for parents appts at ours are completely barking and the whole thing unravels before your eyes. .

For junior school I must admit I take whichever appt suits us, I don't stand about wondering if someone else would like that time instead. If it's available on the list, then it's available.

Well let's see. the OP has never stopped to consider if she's taking the prized 5.50 appointment before but is now affronted that someone else has.