I honestly don't know whether I should be mildly annoyed or not (parents' evening appointments)

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

The sheets for parents' evening appointments were put in reception today. The school does two evenings with appointments between 3.30 and 5.50. I will admit that I have been lucky in the past and have always managed to get one of the 5.50 appointments as this is the time I normally pick DD up due to working ft.

Anyway I pick DD up today and go to the two sheets of appointments for her class. Both the 5.50 appointments were taken. No problem as work are extremely good and I know will have no problem with me leaving 10 mins early.

What I don't know whether I should be about or not is both appointments were for the same child (one mother and (presumably) new partner and the other for I guess child's father) that I can very much understand as there is no way I could go to an appt with my ex. BUT the mother is the school receptionist/secretary.

On one hand I can see her writing her name in before putting them out so not giving anyone else a chance, but on the other I don't see why she should wait a couple of days before putting her name down. So I'm on the fence about my own AIBU

The thing that sways me towards being slightly peeved is that I know she doesn't work that late as she's never there when I pick DD up (on a REALLY good traffic/P&R day it can be as early as 5.40) so why does she need one of the late appointments. So what do you think?

YABVU as you say, you always got the 5.50 slot before. Someone else's turn now. Hard luck.

yes, world still firmly on axis.

"I don't know how many people in other professions would schedule meetings that coincide with DDs bath time or bedtime."

Actually lots. Having meetings outside office hours is not unusual for lots of professions.

I think it's wrong that one child is given two appointments at all.

I realise that there will be a few extreme cases where DV is involved and parents can't be together, but I would have thought that any parent who is interested enough to go to parents evening should be able to put that to one side for a ten minute appointment in a school.

I appreciate my school sending newsletters by email to both me and my ex, and it was very kind of them to offer us two appointments for parents evening. Completely unnecessary though, and a waste of teachers time. As it happens ex and I get on very well, but even if we didn't I don't see why teachers should be made to hang around longer and repeat themselves just because two adults who chose to bring children into the world together can't be civil to each other.

You try a parents evening with twins - I feel like taking supplies and a chair sometimes, it can take forever!

Lesley Really? Lots? Regularly? I have a number of friends who are teachers, some in remote schools. As their DC are pre school, they work part time. For 1'in particular, parent's evening is ALWAYS scheduled on one of her non working days. Her DH works 60 miles away & finishes late & her normal childcare CM can't have her DS. He loses pay so she can attend. She doesn't grumble, we do that on her behalf!

Having worked in both public & private sector pre dc, & knowing lots of people in different professions, I can think of few outside of planning officers who regularly have meetings scheduled outside of their normal working hours, let alone up to 5 hours after their normal finishing time. Where they do, they usually get paid an unsociable hours premium. Not the case for teachers who have to suck it up along with lesson planning, marking etc.

Our school makes it perfectly clear that if you can't make it on parents' evening then you can book an appt for another time.

My youngest daughter's school has 2 parents evenings, one starts after school and runs until 6ish, the other one is 6-8. For the last 3 years I have not been able to make either evening (am shift worker and ironically always seemed to follow my shift patten) and the teachers have always accommodated me with an appt after school on a day I'm not working.

This year - shock horror - I could make both days so I (bucking the trend here) chose one of the middle of the session appts - DD goes to after school club so I reasoned that she could go to club and I could pick her up after the appt - at the same time not utelising one of the prized slots (those at the beginning or end of the session) .

Teachers shouldn't complain about doing parents' evenings until 8.00 pm. Both my primary and secondary schools do that. It really should be accepted as part of the job. Is there really such a thing as "unsocial" hours any more? It's more of a minor inconvenience.

cheekyseamonkey - your friend's DH isn't exactly losing pay, he's just covering childcare like most other partners do with leave. Your friend is fortunate from a childcare point of view compared to a lot of people, as she will be available during the school holidays. I have five weeks' holiday a year and can't take those during half-term.