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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I over-reacting to DH forgetting to pick up DD?

61 replies

marykat2004 · 06/02/2012 18:23

How often do you forget to pick your children up? Is it normal to forget?

This happened once a year ago. It took nearly a year for me to trust him with picking her up and now, today, he has again slept through pick up time. Again.

I have told him that is it, he is excused from all pick ups for the rest of her schooling (DD is 7).

Am I overreacting? He seems to think so.

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 06/02/2012 20:43

I mean a plan if he doesn't make it eg another parent. ? How many times per week is he picking her up ?

MeltedChocolate · 06/02/2012 20:46

YABU

ll31 · 06/02/2012 20:49

You say it took you nearly a year to trust him to collect her again because he forgot once.. presumably she was in school - and presumably they rang you or him or whoever was contact and she was safe. I don't understand the fact that it took you a year to trust him - I think truthfully this says more about your relationship with him rather than any issue about collecting your child.

purplecupcake · 06/02/2012 20:58

ive never forgot to pick up mine, but i did once take my son when school was closed and just left him there .. the school cleaner phoned me.. didnt occur to me that there was no other kids around haha, he didnt harm him.. hes 23 now and we have a good laugh about it lol

Pandemoniaa · 06/02/2012 21:01

He's got a bit of a history, hasn't he Marykat? Is this the husband who is ill and who doesn't cope very well with your dd?

Only if he is, then no, I'd probably not trust him again. Otherwise, I'd say give him a chance to redeem himself.

Proudnscary · 06/02/2012 21:37

I've never forgotten to pick my dc up - which is some kind of miracle since I am guilty of fuckwittage in most other areas of my life - but I'm not judging those of you that have, in fact I have been PMSL at some of your posts (especially 'what baby?)'!

But I have to be honest, if my dh did this I would be fecking furious because I hate the thought of the dc worrying about where we are etc.

Original poster

marykat2004 · 06/02/2012 23:45

Lots of varied responses. I like that. Yes, some of you recognise me. Maybe I should change my name... .

DD was very upset this time. I think the last time, because there was one other boy left behind, she wasn't as upset.

Yes, it's a complicated situation. We have our assessment this week at the family counseling place. Not a moment too soon.

I find the inconsistency upsetting.

And DH doesn't seem to feel any remorse or embarrassed. That annoys me, too. But I need to sort myself out not to get annoyed. .

(no other support, all the other parents have nannies at school, and DD has some social issues so only has a couple of friends. I can't even get the neighbours to pick her up, even though some of them would glad share - I could take turns with their kids - we have 2 neighbours in our building at the same school but DD wouldn't let them take her or pick her up).

OP posts:

OnlyFunctionsWithCaffeine · 07/02/2012 00:01

Ive never forgotten to pick up DS, and haven't ever overslept and missed pickup either.

HoneyandHaycorns · 07/02/2012 00:04

My DH has forgotten twice, once in reception and once in year 1 (dd is now in year 2). dd was thrilled on both occasions as she got to sit and chat with the teachers.

I was really annoyed with him on both occasions, thought he was really careless, wondered how he could forget his own daughter.

Then a few weeks ago, I forgot myself. I was supposed to be picking her up from one of her activities but got so wrapped up in what I was doing that I completely lost track of the time.

So don't be too mad OP. Next time, it could be you.

eaglewings · 07/02/2012 07:50

Marykat, it's probably a good thing you didn't name change as often we MNers can make a snap response when only knowing half the story
I don't know your back story, only whats on this thread. having an illness that makes me sleep so soundly in the afternoons that my DH has been know to have a shower in the ensuite and I've not woken, my mobile has failed to wake me etc I know how hard it is to be awake at 3 if I've had a nap.
One of my kids has social problems and that makes life harder.
Maybe the difference between me and your DH is that I begin to understand how much extra pressure my illness and my child's needs puts on him. He works full time and is sometimes like a single parent. I feel for you
Hope the assessment goes well and you get support. Sadly you can't change others, but as you note further up, you can change how you react.

minimisschief · 07/02/2012 10:45

yabu the man sleeps because of health problems and his alarm didn't wake him ike it usually does. Why would he think to set another?

He overslept it happens. I have done it a few times. For whatever reason that the alarm didn't wake me.

He did not forget and your child didn't die sitting outside an office

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