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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it would be pointless accepting this job?

67 replies

hatesponge · 06/02/2012 11:02

I hate my current job, have a new manager who plainly dislikes me, and every day is a huge effort to come in and sit at my desk. I am totally demotivated and demoralised.

I have now in principle been offered another job. On paper it is my ideal role, allowing me to do all the stuff I enjoy in my current role, and a lot more besides. It would offer autonomy, career progression, and a decent salary increase of about 10-15%.

The downside is the office I'd be required to work in is 15 miles from where I live, not on a public transport route and I can't drive.

I've tried to work out if I could somehow get there by train/bus but it would be pretty much unworkable. I've tried the liftsharing websites but no-one does this journey or anything close to it.

I actually feel like crying. Re driving myself, I have had 3 tests many years ago, failed them all spectacularly. I tried again about 5 years ago, had loads of lessons but was nowhere near taking a test, couldn't even pass my theory.

There's not really any point in me pursuing this job any further is there? :(

OP posts:
NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 06/02/2012 11:05

Could you cycle there? I cycled to work every day for a year- slimmest I've ever been and it gave me MORE energy.
Sorry your manager is horrible, I stuck at a job where my manager disliked me for 18 months- its one of my BIGGEST regrets.

CustardCake · 06/02/2012 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WowOoo · 06/02/2012 11:06

I guess not if it really is that hard to get to. Sorry! Don't cry. Or maybe do have a good cry and cet it out of your system.

But in the mean time keep trying and doing your test. Then, if it comes up again you'll have a passed test under your belt.
My good friend had to take the test 11 times but she never gave up trying.

lesley33 · 06/02/2012 11:07

It took me years to pass my test. I found out that all driving instructors are tested and graded on how good they are. I think the top grade is 7? I googled this and my area and it came up with 1 instructor who I booked - it is rare to have the top grade. He wasn't any more expensive, but the difference was amazing.

Donki · 06/02/2012 11:07

What would a regular contract with a taxi firm cost?
I know it would be an expensive option, but is it a possibility?

MollyintheMoon · 06/02/2012 11:08

Keep taking driving lessons and accept the job. You will pass eventually. It took my mum about 9 times to pass and now she's a reasonably confident driver.
How about a moped? You used to be able to drive those on L plates. Not sure whether you still can though.

vix1980 · 06/02/2012 11:08

If you hate your current job wouldn't cycling somewhere you really looked forward to going be just great, once there i'm sure you'll get to know other people who live if not by you close who would offer a lift, and once there and you feel a bit more motivated you could start your driving tests again, its not impossible, and if it makes you happier in the long run then do whatever it takes.

jendifa · 06/02/2012 11:09

Is the journey really unmanageable? At one point I had a commute of about 1 1/2 hours, involving 3 buses. Yes it was annoying, but I knew it was the only downside of a job I loved.

WineOhWhy · 06/02/2012 11:09

COuld you learn to drive in an automatic? I have a friend who failed to pass multiple times, and switched to auomatic and passed first time, plus another friend who refused to even try to learn in a manual and passed first time in an automatic. Obviosuly it means they are only licensed to drive automatic cars, but they just made sure that is what they bought! One plans to try to "upgrade" her licence in a couple of years, the other does not see why she would ever need to and is quite happy.

Or get a moped if 15 miles is too long a cycle?

lesley33 · 06/02/2012 11:10

Also might be worth saying to the employer that you are strugglingw ith how to get there and ask them to email a message round the company asking if anyone would be interested in lift sharing with you?

squeakytoy · 06/02/2012 11:10

I was just about to suggest what Molly has said. Get a moped, and then carry on with the driving too. If you havent tried learning in an automatic, try that as it really is much easier.

whackamole · 06/02/2012 11:10

I second Gruffalo's suggestion. Borrow a bike, see if you can physically make the journey. If you can, then I would go for it! You can then restart the driving lessons. Even Maureen passed eventually!

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 06/02/2012 11:12

Could you cut a deal with a local taxi firm for a weekly rate? Lots of firms here are glad to have a regular job booked in and will do a deal for a block booking. Then you can learn to drive at your own pace (or just use the taxi, it can't be more expensive than running a car) and take the job. Even if it costs quite a bit, you sound like you would be much happier in the new job, it would be worth it for the reduction in stress.

Original poster
hatesponge · 06/02/2012 11:13

I really don't think I could cycle. I'm not very fit, I've only ever cycled about 3 miles max and that took ages, 15 miles by bike would take me all day.

The only way I could do the journey would be bus/train/bike, but its 40 mins by bus, 20 on the train and that would leave me another 4 miles or so to bike along country lanes. Can't imagine doing it in the current weather, let alone how long it would take

It's a very small satellite office and unfortunately none of the handful of people who work there live in my direction.

:(

OP posts:
SydSaid · 06/02/2012 11:13

I second the 'try to learn in an automatic' suggestion - I have two friends that simply could not pass a test in a manual car, but passed no problem in an automatic.

If it was me, I'd do anything it took to get to the job. Is there public transport near enough to cycle to? Locally there is a man that cycles double that every day to get to work (as in 30 miles there, 30 back).

LaurieFairyCake · 06/02/2012 11:13

Definitely call a couple of taxi firms - if it comes within the salary increase or close enough it would still be worth it for you to be happier.

Also once you've worked there a while you might meet someone who can drop you home or close enough to a bus route.

Don't look at it as £20 a day on taxis but instead look at the overall benefits of working there.

SydSaid · 06/02/2012 11:14

Well, is there anyone that could give you a lift for the 4 miles? Or the taxi suggestion for that part of the journey?

MediumOrchid · 06/02/2012 11:16

What about something like a scooter? You can ride those without having passed a test, can't you? Presumably there's some inital training you have to do but a lot less than to pass a driving test.

I know nothing about scooters but I'm sure a friend of mine rode one for ages with a learner sticker on.

Dozer · 06/02/2012 11:16

Take the job and get driving!

Original poster
hatesponge · 06/02/2012 11:18

I could ask about a taxi but I think the cost would be prohibitive, I regularly used a taxi for a 5 mile local journey a while back which was £10 each way - even if this was £20 each way (I think it would be more) that would be £200 a week, I couldn't manage with travel costs that high (my current travel to work is £150-200 pcm)

When I tried to learn most recently it was in an automatic. I found it a little easier but not much - and if I cant even manage the theory what hope have I got?!

OP posts:
lesley33 · 06/02/2012 11:19

Just to say as well that the theory test is much easier to do once your driving has improved. My great driving instructor really helped me improve my hazard perception bit by constantly pointing out potential hazards and the multiple choice bit was easier as well.

I had failed my theory test - there is a 40% failure rate, so don't let this put you off. Most people get it in the end.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 06/02/2012 11:19

If I were you I would apply for the job and go for it - don;t let the issue of how to get there put you off (and I am someone who applied for a job miles away when I couldn't drive, I walked a couple of miles and then picked up a lift in the end, bt managed on public transport for a bit).

I also agree with those who say get a moped. My dd has just got one - it is very easy to get on the road (you have to pass a mandatory test which costs £120) and it is very cheap to insure (well, it would be for a non-teen) and tax is £16 a year. You can have lessons, it is very easy to pick up. And the good weather is coming - you can ride a moped all spring and summer whilst still having driving lessons.

Don't give up at the first hurdle - go for it.

JimmyChooChoo · 06/02/2012 11:20

OP first of all sorry about the driving situationSadI can understand the frustration as it took me three whole years of weekly lessons and I hated every second of it and was awful but just before Xmas I passed.I think you need to stick to the lessons-sometimes it really is down to your relationship with your instructor-I had 3 instructors in total the first 2 were horrible but the third was the nicest and most patient person in the world(don't know where you live but feel free to pm me if on the off chance we live in similar areas and I can tell you his details etc)Also I drive automatic and lots of people told me that that would hold me back but IMO it doesn't as I just want to get from A to B!
On the subject of your new potential job..maybe contacting all of your local mini cab services and asking if they could give you some sort of a discount if you use them daily to and from work?(Maybe think of your slightly higher pay contributing towards this?)
After a while in the new office you may find someone who lives in a similar area that maybe could offer you a lift.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do OP I hope it all works outSmile

GetOrfMoiiLand · 06/02/2012 11:21

Just to say the test you have to take for a moped is just like a souped up cycling proficiency test - not a driving test per se. You can ride for 2 years on a provisional license if you display L plates.

lesley33 · 06/02/2012 11:22

I know someone who for a while had a similar journey on public transport that left them in the countryside with a 6 mile journey to a place of work. They booked a taxi to meet them every day for this part. But if you want to explore this ask taxi firm for reduction for a regular booking.

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