To make excuses not to eat with my friend as her greedyness irritates me?

[Corpse]

My friend (we work together) is constantly going on about her "diet" and how she desperately needs to lose weight and was even trying to get slimming pills off the doctor etc. She's a size 20. We always eat lunch together and I'm sorry but her eating habits just really, really annoy me. She'll buy a huge pot of pasta and literally gobble it down in about a minute, she'll then wolf down a packet of crisps and then pop to the vending machine and buy a chocolate bar and then quite often she'll go to the bakery and buy a massive muffin. Now what she eats is her business and I don't care about her size but to go on and on about dieting and then eat like a pig really, really annoys me.
I just can't stand greed. A few weeks back someone brought in a box of maltesers to demonstrate something (he said for everyone to help themselves but the original purpose was for them to be used as a demonstration for something unconnected to eating). Anyway a few people grabbed one of two - my friend took 3, then she took a large handful - and then polished off the rest of the box laughing like she was being funny. Greed isn't funny! it's annoying!

So anyway I don't really want to eat lunch with her, it makes me uncomfortable and puts me off my own food. Will she twig on to why I'm doing this because I don't want to upset her.

Erm presumably what it actually shows is that people who weigh more drink diet drinks?

Perhaps the causality is the other way around. If you know you have a problem with weight and tend to yoyo you probably eat a lot of diet products....but it's probably not the fault of the diet products that you weight yoyos.

Nope diet drinks don't cause yoyo dieting, the latest research doesn't think it has any part to play in losing weight only in gaining. It messes with brain chemistry - as I say, the brain thinks it is getting a sugar hit because it gets messages that something sweet is being ingested but that doesn't happen. In the end your brain is unable to predict the caloric consequences of eating sweet things and research thinks this may produce increased food intake and therefore body weight.

Drink diet coke if you want to and you like the taste but don't be under the illusion that it is has a neutral effect on your weight.

I don't care about the calories, I don't think I'm saving anything. I Like The Taste. End of.

The woman's weight isn't anyone's business, and she needs to recognise that and stop talking about it to others.

If her weight is weighing on her psychologically, then exposing her feelings about it to people and then totally failing to be able to do anything about it when faced with food, plus - she must be able to see - slightly disgusting people with her food manners...isn't going to be doing her any good mentally.

No idea how to get her to see that.

I think that you should have a word with your "friend" and explain to her that you have an eating disorder and find it hard when she talks about diets and food.

I drink diet coke not as much as I used to but I will drink it most days more so in the summer. I also like the taste which is probably hard to understand as sweetener can taste quite bitter at first.

I don't eat or drink anything else with sweetener in but I look forward to a diet coke in the same way a smoker craves a cigarette. I don't see how this is a problem. I have 4 or 5 cans a week, maybe 10 in the summer.

Why the hell should the friend have to stop doing anything?

Its the OP that has the problem, and I`m not talking about problems with food, she sounds like a bloody awful friend, would any of you come on here and describe any of your friends the way she has?

Eats like a starved animal, calls her a pig and has made mental notes on everything she eats, and posts all on an internet forum.

You sound vile OP, and I speak as someone who has had bulimia on and off since the age of 11, thats over 25 long years of struggling to eat in front of people, because I hate being watched eating.

Horrible thread, from a clearly nasty piece of work.

BBB I think you may have missed the point I was trying to make. I found this quote which may or may not be representative.

'A study presented at a American Diabetes Association meeting this week shows that drinking diet soda is associated with a wider waist in humans.'

All this research could ever tell you is that the fatter you are and more weight you gain the more diet drinks you drink. It does not tell you which causes which, if either.

It seems MUCH more likely to me that fat people drink diet drinks because they are fat and want to avoid extra calories. It has certainly been shown that fat people are more likely to put on more weight than thin people in a given time period, and hence you end up with people drinking diet drinks putting on more weight than people that dont. Still does not mean anything.

What they should have done was to look at people who are the same size with the same weight ishoos, who do and dont drink diet drinks and compare their outcomes after 5 years. But they didnt do that. So they don't know a damn thing.

tests on animals suggest that the taste receptors (obviously) talk to the brain and tell them that something sweet is comming, which then logically makes the body prepare so insulin spikes then blood sugar levels dip because it had nothing to work on, causing cravings for more sweet things. So it stands to reason that diet drinks cause you to consume more calories over the course of a day.

Just look at the ingredients, how can it be as neutral as water?

Consuming "diet" foods and drinks is a mug's game! IMO you're better off having some full fat coke with a meal than diet drinks in between.

Of course you like the taste, it's designed to be addictive so you drink more and mess up your body's chemistry more and need to buy more of their diet products

But full fat coke is foul it tastes sugary and sweet. I'm not drinking it to lose weight or to maintain a weight, I'm drinking it because I want to. Yes, its full of crap but so are lots of things. Everything in moderation.

I don't believe that anyone honestly believes that diet coke is the key to losing weight.

She is hopelessly addicted - to the point that she behaves abominably (eats all the maltesers), breaking social rules. She is not 'greedy', she is an addict.

YOur attitude towards her is a bit tbh - heavily judgemental. I have a friend who guzzles wine in a way that makes my eyes pop - the amount of wine he pours down his throat is just staggering. He is an alcoholic. I may find it distasteful to watch him in full-flight addiction mode, and it is natural to want to turn away from the horror of it, but he is deep in his addiction.

You may be appalled because your eating disorder goes the other way and you find large food consumption difficult to face - but take responsibility for that and don't point the finger at her 'disgusting' eating habits: yours may also be 'disgusting'. A little of the pot calling the kettle black here - face your own stuff. And find another lunch companion. Kindly.

You may like to point out to her that she is an addict though hold on to your head because she may bite it off and gobble it down and invite her to an eating disorder 12-step group. The one you attend to face your own addiction (OA is not just for overeaters btw). This is a good book for someone with her type of eating disorder. YOu may like to tell her about it. Kindly.

You sound very miserable.

"But full fat coke is foul it tastes sugary and sweet."

they're not the only two choices of beverage though, its not like you HAVE to drink one or the other.

'Everything in moderation' works when you do in fact consume things in moderation. That's a lot of diet coke.
(I drink water. No debate about water. Feel free to poke my eyes out.)

entrophygirl actually you are missing the point. The research doesn't simply show that fatter people drink more diet coke, which of course is ambiguous as regards causality, current research suggests that the artificial sweeteners in diet foods sent wrong messages to the brain which cause the body to seek out further sweet foods.

Of course you may be strong enough to resist the urge to meet those cravings but you are hardly doing yourself an favours if younarevtrying to lose weight and are actively consuming something that encourages you to seek out more sugar.

Not to mention that diet coke makes you horribly dehydrated, which is a pity cos I do like the stuff but I need at least two pints of water to get rid of the thirst.

I agree with Eyjafjallajokull, I drink diet coke in moderation, that's to say I don't act horrified and refuse it if it's offered as a mixer at a friends house, had some last weekend, but 10 a week is a LOT

Totally off topic (apologies)

Sarabellumhertz I love your name. Wish I'd thought of it. [sulks]

And I like yours also sarahdoctorindyhouse although how to shorten? We're not Sarah's so I'm not keen on that myself

Entrophygirl - you have missed the point again. The lines of causality are there - the diet drinks are causing people to eat more and therefore get fat. There is a correlation. It is something that is still being worked on but the evidence is mounting that diet drinks are counterproductive if you are using them as part of a caloried controlled diet.

Gwendoline - no need to beat yourself up. Drink the stuff if you want to. We all accept you drink it because you like the taste. No skin off my nose or anybody else's, just don't be under the illusion that drinking diet drinks has no consequences.

There was a headline in one of the papers the other day that drinking as little as one diet drink a day can significantly increase your risk of strokes.

But you're assuming I am under illusions. I'm not. You're banging on about something I'm not concerned about.

Fair enough. Why bang your head against a brick wall though if you aren't bothered? Why not just let it wash over you?

It wasn't aimed at you orginally anyway unless you were one of the ones who were saying that diet coke saves you calories to use for eating other things even if you aren't trying to lose weight.

Can you link to the research you are basing this on Bertha?

I am very sceptical that something with zero calories that has imperceptible impact on blood sugar and therefore insulin production (and this is easily measured with blood tests) can have more impact on appetite and therefore food intake than something that has as intense and fast a sugar hit as full fat coke, which absolutely does have a very real impact on blood sugar and insulin production, as is easily measured once again with blood testing.

As part of a calorie controlled diet, it is still the best choice, because you use up less of your "currency". That's why they say on the can "as part of a calorie controlled diet". That means YOU control the calories you take in and stop when you have reached your limit. In these situations, diet is always the best choice, because it leaves more calories for actual food that fills you up, and because it has minimal impact on blood sugar.

For these reasons I'm very interested to see the research, how it was carried out and how they reached thier potential conclusions or at least what the hypothesis is.

"One diet coke a day increases the risk of strokes". - Yep it probably does. Studies have also shown that one glass of wine increases the risk of breast cancer. We choose to lots of things that are bad us for us but as long as we don't overdo it I don't see a problem. I have low blood pressure and low cholesterol, if that wasn't the case I might choose not to drink it but at this moment I don't believe that my consumption of diet coke which is currently less than one can a day is doing me any longterm damage.

Tatty
this thread starts off as anecdotal about the effects of aspartame but goes on to include some interesting links. Other posters on this thread went on to give up diet drinks and reported amazing results (you could advance search "diet coke" from that date onwards for several accounts of health improvement after giving it up).